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Date Posted: 19:26:17 05/31/01 Thu
Author: luke
Subject: ... and "crown" being repeated, and at the same time being a bit disconnected, makes it sound highly disturbed and crazy. The relationship seems disgusting; the third stanza is a horrible image, limp and dead, while sounding nice.
In reply to: luke 's message, "Being highly rebellious by expanding on the haiku so. They are normally just the one image, looked at in isolation. Your stanzas basically work like that, existing as individual images. Then the way they are linked together as stanzas and with "dear" and" on 19:23:36 05/31/01 Thu


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[> [> How can you crawl over a balcony? I don't understand. And the last stanza makes it worse, the way she sounds so smug and victorious, thinks she is in control, when she obviously isn't, swaying, with no control over her limbs. -- luke, 19:27:28 05/31/01 Thu

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