Mikki -- CastawaysII

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Date Posted: 05:48:35 09/25/07 Tue
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: adsl-69-212-209-137.dsl.sfldmi.ameritech.net / 69.212.209.137
Subject: Mikki
In reply to: Mikki 's message, "Richard." on 12:25:18 09/24/07 Mon

I also have 'autoimmune' disease. My immune system is unable to distinguish my body cells as friendly cells and attack them as if they are invading foreign cells. This can attack any organ or organs and is a big part of my osteoarthritis. Along with this I have general degenerative disease, accelerated aging. This aging thing is multi caused: the autoimmune disease and from my body not be able to get enough essential fatty acids absorbed. There are good fats. They are among a few things, responsible for the body cells regenerating themselves. The body replaces it self every seven years or so. Some organs faster than other organs. My cells do not get properly regenerated so everything is inflamed.

I am so happy you have good ethical therapist now. Listening to every word you therapist says is nice. But that is not what makes therapy work. If you are looking for the therapist to tell you how to do this or that, even tell you how therapy works for you then odds are the therapist is hooking you for long term money making un-therapy (consciously or subconsciously). Therapy is what ever it takes for the client to heal the client hers or his self. As for my god allegory� that is how far one will go in being a controller� finally ask for help but cannot let go of the addiction to controlling. The therapist is there just to help or nurture the self help or self healing. Therapy will not cure clinical chronic depression and anxiety. What will happen if the client is actually doing therapy, is she or he will identify behavior that hinder achieving comfort in societal settings and or personal settings, replace those behaviors with behaviors that will bring some good things into hers or his life to balance out the depression and anxiety which lessons the depression and anxiety. One cannot get better, one can only get better at living with misery in hers or his life, which lessens the misery. When you actually start doing therapy for a while, all of this will be come clear as a bell. As for addictions as with controlling addiction, as far as I know, one cannot turn it on and off to suit a situation or purpose. One at best can curtail it a little or most likely hide it from the oneself better. My son cannot stop his addiction to stealing because I am his pops. He big time instantly jumps into deep, deep self-denial that he stole anything from me. My son is banned from entering my home anymore for a long time to come; until he is down the process of healing and changing a long ways. Now and then you will read me saying that I have severe difficulties in life, but life is not difficult for me. That is what I mean. I cannot get better; I can only get better. This is kinda an oxymoron statement, hun?

There is some thing in my the original post the other night that I have identified once again but better see it now. The Christian writer, who wrote the book, "A Purpose Driven Life", ( I think that is the title), said if one holds back a truth from another about another because the one is afraid of the reaction of the other as with rejection, anger, hurt feeling, one is sinning as if she or he is lying by omission. Over the years of reading your posts there were many times I wanted to tell you the truth of what I saw in your posts. However, I was afraid to do so fearing your wrath and or your hurt feelings. Again, what I see in your posts is ambiguous and even might not be the reality at all. What I read in your posts are just minute fragments of who Mikki is. Any rate, if I had been honest as we went along, the bits of what bothered me would have been dealt with at the time. Doing so either by you straightening me out or seeing that what I say or responded has some truth to it or some of both. I would not have it all bottled up in me and have it come gushing out on a day that I thought would be my last day wearing this costume. I guess being up front with people as we go along is good for the people and me alike.

Whew.

RICHARD

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Replies:

Richard -- Mikki, 13:21:36 09/26/07 Wed