Richard. -- CastawaysII

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Date Posted: 12:25:18 09/24/07 Mon
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 24-180-237-212.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 24.180.237.212
Subject: Richard.
In reply to: Richard 's message, "Re: The word 'sense' can be found in 'nonsense'� only real place." on 18:43:46 09/23/07 Sun

Richard......I'm sorry you are in such pain. I hope the patches will help you. My mom is in the same position, however, pain killers make her very sick. She is living on Aleve for a major immune disorder. Not only does she have bad arthritis.....she has antibodies attacking her arteries. She is wasting away, and i don't know how long I will have my mom. I have forgiven and forgotten our disputes. I feel better about it. I don't want to lose my mom, especially if we are fighting about something.

Ok, now to your post. Yes, I am a control freak, always have been. Things go my way, or I walk away. That is why I am in the job I have......you have to do things a certain way...All the time, no room for winging it yourself just because you want to. I have a therapist that I respect immensly. He will tell me in no uncertain terms what is going on with me. And I listen because I have known him for 8 years, and I trust him completely. What happened with my former therapist was the same way. I spent 10 years with him, going weekly, and listening to every word he said. I wouldn't have spent 10 years with him if I felt I wasn't listening to him, or respecting what he said to me. It was the termination that I couldn't handle. Yes, he terminated because I made a huge mistake..I admit that. I did everything I could to try to make it right and it didn't work. I wasn't trying to control the situation, he was obviously in control. He has threatened me, that is why I wrote to the state. That is my right under the Mental Health code. I'm not trying to control him....I want him to know he can't threaten me like that.

After termination, I interviewed 4 therapists. One was a Christian therapist and told me from the get go I was a sinner. I can't handle that from a therapist....I go to my priest for that.

Then I saw a therapist who happened to be Jewish, and couldn't see me because I was catholic. Catholicism wasn't even going to be a part of my therapy. He told me I was "too high maintenence for him". Not a good fit, and it wasn't because I was trying to control the situation.

Then I saw a woman therapist. I don't do well with women therapists because of my issues with women. I gave it a shot. She was beautiful, and sat there listening to me fluffing her hair all the time. She didn't hear me...again, not a good fit....I wasn't controlling.

Finally I saw a man who was a mysoginist. He told me that my problems would go away if I just fucked my husband more and gave up my career. Walked out on him.

Would you see any of these therapists? Especially after the hurt the former therapist caused? I don't think so.

Jim is the therapist for me.....no nonsense, in your face therapy that is helping. I am in group therapy for borderlines at UM. I am accepting that help with no problem. I don't fight therapy......I listen and sometimes it is hard for me to make the changes necessary. If you remember me from 1998 when I was bouncing off the wall, you will see that I have made extreme progress over the years. That was from my former therapist. He hurt me by not listening to me after my mistake. He made mistakes too, and I loved that man with everything I had. Therapy can't continue when that happpens. He said it was time to go, and maybe I tried too hard to make it work again, but to no avail. It hurts.....its like a scorned woman. But I have moved on, and getting therapy from Jim and my doctors at UM.

Control freak? Maybe in my job.....but not therapy. I appreciate your post, and I will do my best to try to figure out what you mean. I don't get it. What does God have to do with this?

Gotta run, sorry so long, just had to respond to what you said about me.

Mikki

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Replies:

Mikki -- Richard, 05:48:35 09/25/07 Tue
- Richard -- Mikki, 13:21:36 09/26/07 Wed