Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend) -- CastawaysII

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 11:21:51 12/08/08 Mon
Author: Liz
Author Host/IP: hou-ext-vrrp.conocophillips.com / 138.32.80.20
Subject: Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend)
In reply to: Sandy 's message, "Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend)" on 17:19:29 12/03/08 Wed

Sandy � If you don�t know if you love Joe or not, then don�t marry him. Or at least try living with him first to see how things go. But don�t make a lifetime commitment when you are feeling this low and conflicted. OK, so there are no guaranteed lifetime commitments but at least don�t start a marriage with doubts.

If only you could find another job with benefits and get some treatment for your depression, both counseling and meds. I�m on a med-combo that doesn�t have side effects, or at least the side effects cancel each other out. (One makes me sleepy and hungry, the other makes me wakeful and suppresses my appetite, perfect.)

Sex, now there is a topic I wish I had answers for, for both of us. I have tried lots of things to regain some of the interest I had when I was younger, hormones, DHEA, lotions and potions. The big difference is that I love and I am in love with my husband. So even though I don�t get the pleasure and the release that I used to get, I focus on enjoying the closeness, being able to make him feel good (which means sometimes feigning a little more lust than I feel) and even trading off intimacy for a backrub, which does feel really good.

A few years ago, I felt like you do, all I wanted to do was sleep and make it through the day so I could sleep some more. In fact, thinking back, I was exactly your age at the time. My love for my kids kept me going, and I never stopped believing I could get better and find some passion in life (and I don�t mean a man or a romance). All my life, I never could figure out what made me happy, I was too busy trying to keep everyone else happy, and nothing I tried captured my interest or tapped my creativity.

A couple of years ago, when CLB left for college, I started volunteering at the SPCA and found that to be very rewarding. I work with the adoptable cats, and I love it. Also, I had been making bead jewelry for several years and this year I decided to learn how to make glass beads. I took my first lesson in March and I finally found my true calling. Too bad I can�t be a full time glass artist, but at least my day job pays for materials and equipment and tools, I have started selling my beads and I�m hoping in a few years, when CLB graduates and I get some tuition loans paid off, maybe I can retire and just make beads.

All this to say, don�t give up, there is hope. I dealt with depression, both low-grade and clinical, from the time I was a teenager. These days I am rarely depressed. Does that mean I don�t need meds any more? Maybe, but I�m not ready to test that theory. I feel good and taking those pills twice a day is insurance, whether I need them or not. I was lucky to find a man I truly love, and for that I have to thank Marty for dumping me because I�d never have met N otherwise. So what felt like the worst thing that ever happened to me was just a step on the path to something far better. Take one day at a time, work toward a new job with benefits first and let everything else go on a back burner for now.

Hugs,

Liz

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend) -- Sandy, 16:54:00 12/08/08 Mon
- Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend) -- Liz, 15:49:20 12/10/08 Wed
  - Re: Struggling Part II (the boyfriend) -- Sandy, 16:05:14 12/23/08 Tue