Author:
M_Miller_Phil_4-20
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Date Posted: Tuesday, June 15, 12:29:37pm EST
In reply to:
M_Miller_Phil_4-20
's message, "What is Your Testimony?" on Monday, June 14, 06:50:56pm EST
I was raised in the church. I attended Mount Zion Baptist Church in Fredbg then my family joined New Site because it had more younger people. I got baptized in the 8th grade along with my sisters at New Site, sung in the youth choir and then in a community choir named Agape. My father was killed in a car accident when I was in the 8th grade. When I look back that's when it all started: coldness, detached, and denial of feelings.
When I went to college, I didn't go to church. Slept in on Sunday because I had partied like what on Saturday night. I got the entire college experience ... no holes barred ...
Well by 96, I had totally denied God and started studying Mathematics .. logic and facts. How -- trying to debate God and not knowing anything but some bible stories ... the Devil knows God's Word and we are never to debate His Word .. don't have to .. anyway, I lost the debate and I believed the people I was talking too ... it was easy though because my Dad died and what type of God takes away your Father .. especially after moving into a big, new house .. things going good.. But I denied Christ and believed I was in control of my own destiny and I controlled things, you know.
Well I spiraled ... dated people I had no business even talking too ... fornication, drinking, ..yep .. relationship to relationship .. it's as if I were trying to find God in a mortal man but never did. Hurt feelings, financial debt trying to keep up with the Jones, messed up in school... got suspended and had to sit out a year .. still doing it my way because I control my destiny ... Just depression, confusion, shopping and dating to make me feel better ... wordliness .. you know ..
I had rekindled a friendship with my (now husband) in '02 and he was someone I talked too you know after my last relationship .. he had visited me all thorugh my Hell (college, holidays) .. strictly friends.. I had denounced men (still angry) and was going to just work on my spiritual thing and my career .. you know ... I visited him Memorial weekend '02 and he could see my anger, bitterness and he talked about God to me but I didn't listen .. that's the last thing I wanted to hear b/c I'm like if God is all that why am I going thru this .. You know I cried during Mary's performance of "No More Drama" because I felt her and I wanted some peace ..
Well about '02 I fell to my knees in my apt in DC .. and actually called on God out loud (I said God help me) because the relationship failed even though it wasnt all that I still was hurt b/c how many times do I have to go thru these year 1/2 relationships .. we went to church (hahahahahha) I did what I was supposed to do .. I hated my job .. struggling to pay for school to finish while fixing other mistakes ... I was depressed and alone. Too proud to talk to anyone. I was angry .. I had done all I was supposed too..
Well a friend at work, we had a convo, and I ended up going to his church, meeting his wife and studying the Bible. I got baptized and all. And really was working toward reknewing a relationship with God .. and I was diligent .. still making mistakes but I took a hiatus away from relationships ... and I prayed for a friend, I didn't pray for husband.. just a friend (not to have sex with b/c I was really working towards following Jesus .. I finally had the peace Mary was singing about in No More Drama), someone to talk too .. I kept meeting these guys who were full of themselves --annoying to me b/c I was that independent woman who wasn't impressed by their car or how much money they make .. I could take care of myself by myself ... Well my husband now.. we'd always kept in contact over the years .. email ... letters ... He was all excited that I had been baptized b/c he told me he prayed for me and it was just great. We began to hold little bible studies on the phone (he was in Atl) .. never even talking about us getting together ...
The next thing I know ... March '03 I was engaged.. June I Was married ... I moved to Atl in Aug '03 and we're celebrating our anniversary 6/27/04 .... And we tithe, attend bible study and church, we read the Bible together, we pray together at times ... I'm not saying that Kevin Miller changed my life NOPE.. I'm saying God saw that I was serious about wanting peace and he led me to it and he ADDED unto me and gave me the KINGDOM ... I didn't ask for a husband.. I asked for a friend and he had already given it to me.. But he said I'll give you ALL --my husband is a man of God and He isn't perfect but he's after God's heart. My husband was not going to live with me before we got married and I was in MD and he in Atl. Before we got married, my husband and I said that if we weren't going to handle things in our marriage God's way, then we weren't going to do it. We pray that prayer and God hasn't failed us yet. I'm finding peace by studying the Word, trying out what they say in church about praising Him ...
I am a witness that every knee shall bow to God.. EVERY .. I am a witness that when you seriously try to serve God he hooks you up .. I am a witness that I still make mistakes but I ask for help and forgiveness. I am a witness that if you request it, God will move everything and everyone away from you that will cause you harm. I am a witness that God will remove your debt, thaw out your heart, and will still be there when times get rough.
I am a witness that in talking about God to other people it increases my own faith and helps me to keep going when I'm down. I am a witness that when I miss bible study or church, my husband and I will have a disagreement. I am a witness that when your spouse is of God that you will go to Bible study even when you haven't talked all day and walk out talking to each other. I am a witness that even when you go to Bible study and church you still will have dissagreements with your spouse but won't argue BUT talk about them pleasantly. I am also a witness that my degree, the weave I wore, my career, my clothes don't make me and I don't have to conform to the world. I am a witness that when you idol career, material things, that God will strip you of them until you "come again." I am a witness that I have been unemployed since january, temping, husband and I still tithing and we haven't missed a thing.
I am honored to have gone through what I have because that means that God has something for me that's good and I am able to lead other people to Him. I mess up but I don't give up, because Jesus is my crutch.
Blessed be the name of the Lord!
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