VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 19:22:11 07/11/05 Mon
Author: Amberfaye
Subject: our twin girls, gone to twin to twin trasnfusion syndrome

At 11 weeks gestation we found out it was twins. We were so shocked at first, then completely excited. At 15 weeks we had a case of heavy spontanious bleeding, but everything looked good with the babys. I was sent to a high risk "comp"(complications) clinic by our doctor to make sure. We found out at 16 weeks they were identical girls, but we also found out they had Twin/twin transfusion syndrome...or "stuck" twin syndrome...because one was saran wrapped to the inside of the placenta with no fliud and the other baby had too much blood flow and fliud. Deadly for both because the smaller "stuck" baby could die of starvation or anemia and the bigger baby of heart failure from her heart trying to pump blood for 2 babys. (because the reason for the syndrome is connected blood vessels in the placenta cause the stuck baby to bleed all her blood and nutrients to her sister).
After a roungh 7 weeks (and 4 dangerous fliud reductions done just to keep us pregnant)we traveled 12 hours to Ohio to have a surgery done to sever the connected viens and therefore "fix" the syndrome. And it worked! we were 23 weeks when we had the surgery and we traveled home. At our 25 weeks check up, our sydrome was fixed, our stuck baby had 6 cm of fliud and the other had 7.(stuck was usually 1 and bigger was usually 12) so this was great. We thought we had beat it!
That night my water broke for no known reason. We went to the hospital and after a few hours one baby (stuck baby, alana) was having extreme heart drops and then it would drasticly shoot up too high. We immediantly had a csection and they were rushed off with me only seeing one of them for a cpl seconds. The smaller baby, Alana Devin (weighed 14 ounces) died after 20 hours. Our bigger baby dided 5 days after delievery. her name was supposta be Londin Raven, but after we lost Alana, Londin stayed stabled the whole time and we thought one day she would get to come home so we changed her name to Londin Alana.
We buried them together at a family site 3 days later. It has only been 3 weeks and I am completely devistated. All my dreams i had to them, the specail expierecne of raising twin girls, everything has been ripped from me and all i do besides cry is question every move i made.My fiance and our 4 year old were affected by this as well, but it seems like I am the only one crying everyday and going crazy because of my grief. I have enver lost someone close to me....not only do i feel they were close to me, they were part of me and part of me died with them...twice. It hurts so much and i cant stop the pain. I feel so empty and mad, and sad, and lost without them. If anyone else has gone thru somehting like this, plz email me at spnkd420@yahoo.com because any help or being able to talk to someone who expiercened somehting simliar is helpful.i wrote a poem for them that i was meaning to read at thier funeral, but i didnt have the strenth and the tears wouldnt stop so my sisters husband read it for me.

my tiny babies, it hurts me so
to know ill never watch you grow
cursed from the start, we fought this illness to the end
but your little bodys couldnt mend.
As i watched my little angels
I had waited for so long
I begged and prayed but in the end
everything went to wrong.
To touch your tiny fingers
rub your little toes
I kissed both of your beautiful heads
and your tiny noses.
Although I didnt have long with yall,
i couldnt have loved you more.
my heart may never mend
it will always be sore.
I lost my little girls
my love- my joy-my pride
nothing hurts more
than this pain deep inside.
Noone feels my sorrow
or really understands
how hard it is for me
not to hold your little hands.
Ill always remember your faces
that were so sweet
and picture your tiny
toes and feet.
Although my girls are gone,
Ill be with them all the time.
and the memorys I have of them,
they will always be mine.
I know i cant comfort you, girls
or rock you to sleep
but all the love i have for you
is the one thing you can keep.

To Mommys angels
Londin Alana and Alana Devin

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.