Friends with benefits ;p -- ExUBF's Parlor_Free wheel as far as u can from UBF

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Date Posted: 09:21:24 10/29/04 Fri
Author: Tom F
Subject: Friends with benefits ;p
In reply to: Joe 's message, "Getting my children married" on 20:18:43 10/24/04 Sun

Joe, I think that there are several things you can do to prepare them for marraige.

PRAY. Ask God for His mercy in their lives as they grow, ask for His guidance and wisdom to lead your children in the direction that they should go.

COMMUNICATE. Talk to your kids about it. What should a marraige relationship look like? What kind of person should they seek to marry? It is my belief that opposites do not attract; rather, sameness does. When I was courting my future wife, I looked for several things in her that I thought were key to having a strong relationshp. What is her personality like? Her sense of humor, her likes and dislikes? What are her spiritual and theological preferences? What is her ambition level? Will she be someone with whom I can honestly share the rest of my life with, walking down the same path as me? (Substitute "he" accordingly.) There are many great Christian books out there that talk about this very subject.

SET BOUNDARIES. You and your wife together should lay down the rules for your children when they start to get to that age where dating is cool, or earlier. (About 3 or 4, nowadays:)) My wife and I have decided to wait for them to start dating until they get out of High School. However and prior to that, if they want to go on an outing with several friends (chaperoned), they may do so. I don't think there is anything wrong with making friends with members of the opposite sex; however, those relationships should always be regulated by the parents and kept at arms' distance. If they choose (after they graduate) to pursue a more serious relationship, then they are free to do so.

I think this last key is one that requires much thought, introspection, and prayer. It will help you to answer questions in your mind, so you will be consistent and godly in your parenting. Also, if you follow some of the same guidelines as I, keep in mind that you are doing so to protect them from sexual impurity and broken hearts. It is our responsibility as parents to guide them into right relationships and a proper Biblical worldview of life while they are here with us. If we do not know what we are supposed to be doing for them, or at least have a general game plan, then we are dooming them to find anwsers elsewhere, a dangerous task indeed.

My 2�.

Tom

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Replies:

Another way of "marrying by faith" -- Mike K., 01:16:36 10/31/04 Sun

Re: Another way of "marrying by faith" -- ts, 03:00:58 10/31/04 Sun

Sogams? -- Mike K., 22:53:04 11/02/04 Tue