Another way of "marrying by faith" -- ExUBF's Parlor_Free wheel as far as u can from UBF

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Date Posted: 01:16:36 10/31/04 Sun
Author: Mike K.
Subject: Another way of "marrying by faith"
In reply to: Joe 's message, "Getting my children married" on 20:18:43 10/24/04 Sun

I can tell you from my own experience, I did never "date" in the classical sense of the word.
Because both I and my wife are regenerated believers in the Lord, we didn't want to engage in worldly dating, both of us.
We did write many long letters (because we were spatially separated, and couldn't meet so easily) to find out about the other before we ever sat together and talked about marriage.
After that was decided, we spent a few days together (again, note, because of spatial separation).

All I can tell you is the only thing you should tell your children is that "dating" isn't necessary in finding the right partner, but if there's a genuine trust in the Lord, then the Lord will souvreignly arrange the right situation in the right time. All you need to do is pray - and instruct your children to do the same thing.
And most of all, don't get a big head over this issue. Make sure that your children understand that however important this decision is (the most important in their life maybe) they shouldn't spend too much time, effort and resources about it.
And you need to teach them that from the beginning, they must be totally honest with any potential marriage candidate, and most of all, with themselves. If they do not want to accept themselves the way they are infront of their partner before marriage, they'll reap the reward later. And their partner also needs to accept them in this way, otherwise the problems WILL come.

I remember a few wise words given to me before I married:
"Before you marry, keep your eyes open to spot anything you don't like. After marriage, close your eyes, ignoring anything you don't like" [as far as that is possible, though]

So, to sum it up:
1) Pray
2) Be calm, teach your children to be calm
3) Be honest, teach your children to be honest and expect honesty and be keen on getting to know their partner in detail.

That's the most important things.

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Replies:

Re: Another way of "marrying by faith" -- ts, 03:00:58 10/31/04 Sun
- Sogams? -- Mike K., 22:53:04 11/02/04 Tue