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Date Posted: 16:28:56 08/17/03 Sun
Author: asdf
Subject: asdf

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to our very first ever Duckyboard Golden Luoodle! Tonight we are here to honor FRANCES! Woo Hoo!

Ronnie: Who�s she trying to kid? I�m here to see JACK! He�s coming isn�t he? He better be! I�m missing JAG for this. And I think it�s the episode where Gunny ALMOST takes off his shirt! You know.. I�ve heard these things ALWAYS end badly �

Ahem!

Before we begin tonight�s festivities, I�d like to introduce my assistant, Pretzel!

Come on out, Pretz!

What? I�m not coming out there! I�ve been to some of your OTHER Gluoodles. Who said I was your assistant? You�ve got to be kidding. Nobody is that stupid! I wouldn�t get near you and your �award ceremony� with a ten foot po�

Pssst�. SECURITY! I�m sorry folks! It seems Pretz couldn�t be with us tonight after all. I�m sure she sends her deepest regrets. Probably some sort of emergency at work or something�

What? I don�t have any .. I didn�t say THAT! What � HEY!

Slam! Click!

Now.. where were we? Oh yes. The prestigious GOLDEN LUOODLE AWARD. Presenting tonight�s award will be none other then Col. Jack O�Neill! One moment whilst I get him.

POOF!!!

What the� ? Oh for crying out loud! Thor? Is that .. you?

Nope! It�s LUOODLES! Oh MY! It IS an honor to meat you, dear!

Say.. when are you and Sam going to get together? I just LOVE the idea of you two as a couple! Did I mention I�m a shipper? No? Well..! Anyway! You two are already and item, aren�t you! You can tell me! I can keep a secret! Btw, I think you need to eat more! You�re getting sort of thin, dear! Here. Have a clark bar!

What? Who are you?! What am I doing here?

I poofed you, dear. You know� POOF!!! Oh crud�Whoops�. Just a sec. Be right back�

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Oh , Harmkins! I�m sorry. Don�t need you tonight, dear.. This was an accidental poofing�.

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh good grief�

POOF!!!

He�s a little jumpy.

Ya think?

He�s uh.. had ummm. one too many Poofings I suppose�.Saaaaay.. I bet POOFING�S are a lot like GATE TRAVEL, huh?

No.

Oh. � Anyway! You�re here tonight to present Frances with her very first Golden Luoodle Award!

This is a dream, right?

Oh my.. It sure SEEMS like a dream.. you being here and all. But I can assure you�

I�m hallucinating again, aren�t I? Somebody did something ELSE to me and I�m hallucinating. I mean.. why else would I be standing in some abandoned movie theatre wearing a pirate outfit handing out� is that a LIVE Duck? You people give out LIVE DUCKS as AWARDS?

Yes? So?

Whatever. I�m sure I�ll be waking up soon anyway. Does the Duck have a name?

Bunny.

Your ducks name is Bunny.

Yes.

Whatever.

Ummmm�. Moving on�. FRANCES! Oh, FRANCES! MacGyver .. I mean JACK is here and he has something for you, dear!

What�s that? Yes. He�s wearing the outfit you requested�. Frances?

Frances, are you alright, dear? You seem a bit.. I don�t know�

Frances?

This has got to be the weirdest hallucination I�ve EVER had.

Whatever. Just hand her the duck .. whatch out, he bites� and give her a little smootch on the cheek. Then you can go home.

Frances! Oh my GOSH! Calm DOWN, child! And the drool! You�re going to short out the �.

zzzzzZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTTTTHHH!!!!!!

Sigh. O.K. Calm. Everyone CALM. I�m sure we�ll get the lights back on soon. Frances? Are you alright? Frances? Now where�d she go? And where�s Jack? It seems the entire electrical system was shorted. Umm� where�d Frances go? Frances? Col. O�Neill? Hello? FRANCES! YOU FORGOT YOUR AWARD! What is that � Something smells really good� Oh my gosh! You FRIED our DUCK?!

Ronnie: I told you this would end badly.

Medic!

END

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