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Date Posted: 17:25:50 08/17/03 Sun
Author: adsf
Subject: abd

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to our very first ever Duckyboard Golden Luoodle! Tonight we are here to honor FRANCES! Woo Hoo!

Ronnie: Who�s she trying to kid? I�m here to see JACK! He�s coming isn�t he? He better be! I�m missing JAG for this. And I think it�s the episode where Gunny ALMOST takes off his shirt! You know.. I�ve heard these things ALWAYS end badly �

Ahem!

Can the audience hold it down a bit? Thank you. Now, before we begin tonight�s festivities, I�d like to introduce my assistant Pretzel!

Come on out, Pretz!

What? I�m not coming out there! I�ve been to some of your OTHER Gluoodles. Who said I was your assistant? You�ve got to be kidding. Nobody is that stupid!

I wouldn�t get near you and your �award ceremony� with a ten foot po�

> Pssst�. SECURITY! < I�m sorry folks!

It seems Pretz couldn�t be with us tonight after all. I�m sure she sends her deepest regrets. Probably some sort of emergency at work or something�

What?

I don�t have any .. I didn�t say THAT! What � HEY!

Slam! Click!

Now.. where were we? Oh yes. The prestigious GOLDEN LUOODLE AWARD. Presenting tonight�s award will be none other then Col. Jack O�Neill! One moment whilst I get him.

~ POOF!!! ~

What the� ? Oh for crying out loud! Thor? Is that .. you?

Nope! It�s LUOODLES!

Oh MY! It IS an honor to meat you, dear! Say.. when are you and Sam going to get together? I just LOVE the idea of you two as a couple! Did I mention I�m a shipper? No? Well..! Anyway! Saay.. I bet you two are already and item, aren�t you! You can tell me! I can keep a secret! Btw, I think you need to eat more! You�re getting sort of thin, dear! Here. Have a clark bar!

What? Who are you?! What am I doing here?

I poofed you, dear. You know� ~ POOF!!! ~ AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh crud�Whoops�. Just a sec. Be right back�

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Oh , Harmkins! I�m sorry. Don�t need you tonight, dear.. This was an accidental poofing�.

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh good grief�

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGG�.!!!!

POOF!!!

I�m sorry, dear. I accidently poofed Harmkins in when I was trying to show you and well� It seems I�ve poofed the dear a few too many times�.. He�s a bit jumpy.

Ya think?

Saaaaay.. speaking of POOFINGS. I bet it�s a lot like GATE TRAVEL, huh?

No.

Oh. � Well� Anyway! Back to the show! You�re here tonight to present Frances with her very first Golden Luoodle Award!

This is a dream, right?

Oh my.. It sure SEEMS like a dream.. you being here and all. But I can assure you�

I�m hallucinating again, aren�t I? Somebody did something ELSE to me and I�m hallucinating. I mean.. why else would I be standing in some abandoned movie theatre wearing a pirate outfit handing out�

is that a LIVE Duck? You people give out LIVE DUCKS as AWARDS?

Yes? So?

Whatever. I�m sure I�ll be waking up soon anyway. Does the Duck have a name?

Bunny.

Your ducks name is Bunny.

Yes.

Whatever.

Ummmm�. Moving on�. FRANCES! Oh, FRANCES! MacGyver .. I mean JACK is here and he has something for you, dear!

What�s that? Yes. He�s wearing the outfit you requested�.

Frances, are you alright, dear? You seem a bit.. I don�t know�

Frances?

Ummm� Jack.. You better just uhhh�

Frances! You need to Calm DOWN, child! Yes. I�m sure he�ll give you a kiss, too. But you HAVE to calm yourself! You�re going to short out the �.

zzzzzZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTTTTHHH!!!!!! QUUUUAaaaaaaaccccckkkk��

Sigh. O.K. Calm. Everyone CALM. I�m sure we�ll get the lights back on soon. It seems she shorted the entire electrical system. Where IS she anyway? Frances? Are you alright? Frances? And where�s Jack? Frances? Col. O�Neill? Hello? Huh. I guess they left in all the confusion You know..what is that � Something smells really good�

Oh my gosh! The DUCK! She FRIED our DUCK?!

Ronnie: I told you this would end badly.

Medic!

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