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Date Posted: 16:56:30 08/24/03 Sun
Author: a
Subject: a

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to our very first ever Duckyboard Golden Luoodle! Tonight we are here to honor FRANCES! Woo Hoo!

~ Audience Murmuring ~ ShipperMom: Who�s she trying to kid? I�m here to see JACK! Daisy: He�s coming isn�t he? Fire: He better be! I�m missing JAG for this. Ronnie: And I think it�s the episode where Gunny ALMOST takes off his shirt! Kay: You know.. I�ve heard these things ALWAYS end badly �
Ahem!

Can the audience hold it down a bit? Thank you. Now, before we begin tonight�s festivities, I�d like to introduce my assistant Pretzel!

Come on out, Pretz!

What? I�m not coming out there! I�ve been to some of your OTHER Gluoodles.

Who said I was your assistant? You�ve got to be kidding. Nobody is that stupid! I wouldn�t get near you and your �award ceremony� with a ten foot po�

> Pssst�. SECURITY! < ~cough~ I�m sorry, folks! It seems Pretz couldn�t be with us tonight after all. I�m sure she sends her deepest regrets. Probably some sort of emergency at work or something�

What?

I don�t have any .. I didn�t say THAT! What �

Slam! Click!

HEY! Let me in! I bought a TICKET for this!

Now.. where were we? Oh yes. The prestigious GOLDEN LUOODLE AWARD. Presenting tonight�s award will be none other then Col. Jack O�Neill! One moment whilst I get him.

~ POOF!!! ~

What the� ? Oh for crying out loud! Thor? Is that .. you?

Nope! It�s LUOODLES!

Oh MY! It IS an honor to meat you, dear! Say.. when are you and Sam going to get together? I just LOVE the idea of you two as a couple!

Did I mention I�m a shipper? No? Well..! Anyway! Saay.. I bet you two are already and item, aren�t you! You can tell me! I can keep a secret! And speaking of which, just between you and ol� Lu, I think you need to eat more! You�re getting sort of thin, dear! Here. Have a clark bar! Oh and before I forget, Wilma has been enquiring about your �dangerous canister�� ~Wink~ ~Wink~

What? Who are you?! What am I doing here?

I poofed you, dear. You know� ~ POOF!!! ~ AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh crud�Whoops�. Just a sec. Be right back�

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Oh , Harmkins! I�m sorry. Calm down. I don�t need you tonight, dear.. This was an accidental poofing�.

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh good grief�

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGG�.!!!! ~ POOF!!! ~

I�m sorry, dear. I accidentally poofed Harmkins in when I was trying to show you and well� It seems I�ve poofed the dear a few too many times�.. He�s a bit jumpy.

Ya think?

Saaaaay.. speaking of POOFINGS. I bet it�s a lot like GATE TRAVEL, huh?

No.
Oh. � Well� Anyway! Back to the show! You�re here tonight to present Frances with her very first Golden Luoodle Award!

This is a dream, right?

Oh my.. It sure SEEMS like a dream.. you being here and all. But I can assure you�

I�m hallucinating again, aren�t I? Somebody did something ELSE to me and I�m hallucinating. I mean.. why else would I be standing in some abandoned movie theatre wearing a pirate outfit handing out�

is that a LIVE Duck? You people give out LIVE DUCKS as AWARDS?

Yes? So?

Whatever. I�m sure I�ll be waking up soon anyway. Does the Duck have a name?

Bunny.

Your ducks name is Bunny.

Yes.

Whatever.

Ummmm�. Moving on�. FRANCES! Oh, FRANCES! MacGyver .. I mean JACK is here and he has something for you, dear! What�s that? Oh for heaven�s sake!

Yes. He�s wearing the outfit you requested�.

Oh gross.. Frances�Sigh�

Frances.. Please. Not the drool� Ummm� Jack.. You better just uhhh�

Frances! You need to Calm DOWN, child! Yes. I�m sure he�ll give you a kiss. But you HAVE to calm yourself! You�re grossing me out w/ all that drool.. not to mention you�re going to short out the �.

zzzzzZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTTTTHHH!!!!!! QUUUUAaaaaaaaccccckkkk��

Sigh. O.K. Calm. Everyone CALM. I�m sure we�ll get the lights back on soon. It seems she shorted the entire electrical system. Where IS she anyway? Frances? Are you alright? Frances? And where�s Jack? Frances? What the� FRANCES! You get back here with Jack RIGHT NOW!! Oh good grief! She�s run off with JACK! How the heck am I supposed to explain this? I�m RESPONSIBLE for that guy! ~~~~~~~~You know..what is that � Something smells really good� Smells sort of like roast

Oh my gosh! The DUCK! She FRIED our DUCK?!

Kay: I told you this would end badly.

Medic!

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