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Date Posted: 07:57:49 08/26/03 Tue
Author: 234
Subject: 234

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to our very first ever Duckyboard Golden Luoodle! Tonight we are here to honor FRANCES! Woo Hoo!

ShipperMom: Who’s she trying to kid? I’m here to see JACK! Daisy: He’s coming isn’t he? Fire: He better be! I’m missing JAG for this. Ronnie: And I think it’s the episode where Gunny ALMOST takes off his shirt! Kay: You know.. I’ve heard these things ALWAYS end badly …
Ahem! Can the audience hold it down a bit? Thank you. Now, before we begin tonight’s festivities, I’d like to introduce my assistant Pretzel! Come on out, Pretz!

What? I’m not coming out there! I’ve been to some of your OTHER Gluoodles. Who said I was your assistant? You’ve got to be kidding. Nobody is that stupid! I wouldn’t get near you and your “award ceremony” with a ten foot po…

> Pssst…. SECURITY! < ~cough~ I’m sorry, folks! It seems Pretz couldn’t be with us tonight after all. I’m sure she sends her deepest regrets. Probably some sort of emergency at work or something…

What? I don’t have any .. I didn’t say THAT! What …

Slam! Click!

HEY! Let me in! I bought a TICKET for this!

Now.. where were we? Oh yes. The prestigious GOLDEN LUOODLE AWARD. Presenting tonight’s award will be none other then Col. Jack O’Neill! One moment whilst I get him.

~ POOF!!! ~

What the… ? Oh for crying out loud! Thor? Is that .. you?

Nope! It’s LUOODLES! Oh MY! It IS an honor to meat you, dear! Say.. when are you and Sam going to get together? I just LOVE the idea of you two as a couple! Did I mention I’m a shipper? No? Well..! Anyway! Saay.. I bet you two are already and item, aren’t you! You can tell me! I can keep a secret! And speaking of which, just between you and ol’ Lu, I think you need to eat more! You’re getting sort of thin, dear! Here. Have a Clark Bar! Oh and before I forget, Wilma has been enquiring about that “dangerous canister” of yours… ~Wink~ ~Wink~

What? Who are you?! What am I doing here?

I poofed you, dear. You know… ~ POOF!!! ~ AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh crud…Whoops…. Just a sec. Be right back…

AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Oh , Harmkins! I’m sorry. Calm down. I don’t need you tonight, dear.. This was an accidental poofing….

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh good grief…

AAAAAAIIIIIIGGG….!!!! ~ POOF!!! ~

I’m sorry, dear. I accidentally poofed Harmkins in when I was trying to show you and well… It seems I’ve poofed the dear a few too many times….. He’s a bit jumpy.

Ya think?

Saaaaay.. speaking of POOFINGS. I bet it’s a lot like GATE TRAVEL, huh?

No.
Oh. … Well… Anyway! Back to the show! You’re here tonight to present Frances with her very first Golden Luoodle Award!

This is a dream, right?

Oh my.. It sure SEEMS like a dream.. you being here and all. But I can assure you…

I’m hallucinating again, aren’t I? Somebody did something ELSE to me and I’m hallucinating. I mean.. why else would I be standing in some abandoned movie theatre wearing a pirate outfit handing out… is that a LIVE Duck? You people give out LIVE DUCKS as AWARDS?

Yes? So?

Whatever. I’m sure I’ll be waking up soon anyway. Does the Duck have a name?

Bunny.

Your ducks name is Bunny.

Yes.

Whatever.

Ummmm…. Moving on…. FRANCES! Oh, FRANCES! MacGyver .. I mean JACK is here and he has something for you, dear! What’s that? Oh for heaven’s sake! Yes. He’s wearing the outfit you requested….



Oh gross.. Frances…Sigh…



Frances.. Please. Not the drool… Ummm… Jack.. You better just uhhh…



Frances! You need to Calm DOWN, child! Yes. I’m sure he’ll give you a kiss. But you HAVE to calm yourself! You’re grossing me out w/ all that drool.. not to mention you’re going to short out the ….

zzzzzZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPTTTTTTTHHH!!!!!! QUUUUAaaaaaaaccccckkkk……

Sigh. O.K. Calm. Everyone CALM. I’m sure we’ll get the lights back on soon. It seems she shorted the entire electrical system. Where IS she anyway? Frances? Are you alright? Frances? And where’s Jack? Frances? What the… FRANCES! You get back here with Jack RIGHT NOW!! Oh good grief! She’s run off with JACK! How the heck am I supposed to explain this? I’m RESPONSIBLE for that guy! ~~~~~~~~You know..what is that … Something smells really good… Smells sort of like roast…Oh my gosh! DUCK!

Kay: I told you this would end badly.

Medic!

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