I need some cheer me ups! My son has transferred to work in Hilton Head, South Carolina. He leaves this Sunday to be there by himself until Thanksgiving when he will be back to get his wife and my only grandchild who is 4 years old, and the love of my life. I live in the Adirondacks of NYS so the trip is very long by car and very expensive by plane, plus renting a hotel to stay there. I have little use for the wife so I wouldn't stay with my son whom I love dearly. My heart is broken and I'm devasted. Any words of encouragement or wisdom out there? -- HarmyBoard LifeStyles

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Date Posted: 08:39:01 09/16/14 Tue
Author: jenks-who feels like she's in mourning
Subject: I need some cheer me ups! My son has transferred to work in Hilton Head, South Carolina. He leaves this Sunday to be there by himself until Thanksgiving when he will be back to get his wife and my only grandchild who is 4 years old, and the love of my life. I live in the Adirondacks of NYS so the trip is very long by car and very expensive by plane, plus renting a hotel to stay there. I have little use for the wife so I wouldn't stay with my son whom I love dearly. My heart is broken and I'm devasted. Any words of encouragement or wisdom out there?

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[> oh dear - this is a bit of a predicament - is this the only son and only grandson? If it is - I would say screw the wife- put up with her- ignore her- pretend you like her - whatever it takes to be able to spend time with your grandson - eventually he'll be old enough that he can some visit you instead of you visiting them - and in the meantime modern technology like skype makes keeping in touch and seeing them grow so much easier -- chris k, 20:53:56 09/16/14 Tue [1]

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[> [> Thanks, chris k. I already went out with my son and bought a new laptop to get Skype, but it won't be the samee as being able to hold him, hug him and give all the kisses I usually do. I hate to see him grow up on Skype. -- jenks, 15:23:41 09/17/14 Wed [1]

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[> my other suggestion is apply for an airline credit card - they always come with enough miles up front for one ticket - then start using that card for all your expenses- everything you normally pay with cash or check - you'll be amazed how many miles you can accumulate to make traveling more affordable. -- chris k, 20:56:42 09/16/14 Tue [1]

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[> [> Another friend has suggested that, so we are going to look into it. I really don't want another credit card right now, but I am looking into other ways of transportation. Even the trains are expensive!! -- jenks, 15:26:59 09/17/14 Wed [1]

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[> [> [> took me forever to get a friend to get a new mileage card - she just stopped using her other one and uses this one and she's training herself to charge things she used to pay cash for and just use the cash to pay the bill - she got enough mileage rightaway for a trip to the east coast - it's just a matter of juggling but it's great if you plan in advance -- chris k, 15:31:07 09/17/14 Wed [1]

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[> I understand, jenks. My grandson is 3 and I keep him on fridays. I love being able to be close as he grows. My other grandchild lives in Ohio- a 20 hour drive and I only get to see her once or twice a year. Boo hoo...but now that she's older she comes and spends a week with us in the summer when she can. It doesn't make up for all the things we miss, but it helps! I hope you figure out a plan that works for you. Hugs -- manette, 16:16:20 09/20/14 Sat [1]

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[> Jenks, sorry to hear this. I've read good advices in the answers. I'm with all my heart with you. warmest hugs. -- Laurence, 05:12:58 09/22/14 Mon [1]

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[> My only grandson is 3 months old now. He lives in Nashville with my son and daughter in law. We get daily pictures and just had a video of him turning over. Not the same but it helps. We live in PA so it is a ten hour drive yo see him. We make the best and will visit him in a couple of weeks. -- Martian Barb excited to see baby roman Otto., 20:16:18 09/24/14 Wed [1]

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[> It is terrible to be away from grandchildren. I live only 100 miles away but being ill and not being physically able to travel or even play made it really hard but it sounds as though youve already established a strong bond (inside)h -- mkim, 21:11:49 09/29/14 Mon [1]

Build on it, send little packages that remind him of you and how you love him. And as hard as it may be, you have to figure a way to have a relationship with the boy's mom. I have an ex-daughter-in-law who made my life a misery where my grandchildren were concerned. But I finally accepted the fact that we were different people and we weren't going to be friends, but we both loved those children and slowly but surely we were able to connect in a way that made a stronger relationship with my grandkids happen. She didn't become this great person overnight, but she became someone I could deal with for my grandkids sake. I didn't mean to go off on a toot. LOL. I know this is an awful thing. But with the other good suggestions, I hope mine help. Chin up, kiddo. Oh a d I'm more healthy so I see them more often :)

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[> [> A great big THANKS to all of you. I am SO upset over this that I could scream. The DIL is a PITA, knows all, etc. I tolerate her, but that's my limit. I have Ryan, my grandson, until Nov. 25th and then he's gone South. I'll figure something out, but I'll miss holding, hugging and kissing the real little boy. Even now I'm hearing that my son did NOT want to move, but the pressure from my DIL pushing...he just gave in to preserve the peace. -- jenks, 07:03:51 10/01/14 Wed [1]

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