Chapter 3/9 -- The HarmyBoard Extras Fanfic

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Date Posted: 05:29:29 12/29/14 Mon
Author: mkim
Subject: Chapter 3/9
In reply to: mkim 's message, "Chapter 2/9" on 05:25:52 12/29/14 Mon

'It's a Wonderful Life' at JAG

Chapter 3

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any of the rights to the movie or story, 'It's a Wonderful Life.' Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: The focus this time will be on episodes in Seasons 4 and 5. Specifically, the episodes are; 'Angels 30,' 'Yeah, Baby,' 'Goodbyes,' 'Rules of Engagement,' 'True Callings' and 'The Return'. There will also be a small reference to 'Into the Breech.'

A/N: Keep in mind that things will not happen in the same sequence as they did on JAG or have exactly the same consequences. I'm trying to touch on as much as I can to make the story familiar. Mic, Renee and Jordan are mentioned, but do not have the same level of importance in either of the lives of our DD, as they did in the show.

A/N: Remember too that this is AU, proceed with caution. (Smile)

Rating K+

In the heavens above Northern Virginia�

XO Gabriel continued with the story of Harmon Rabb Jr. Lieutenant Clarence listened as if his wings depended on it, because they did.

1436

Wednesday

November, 03, 1998

USS Coral Sea

Mac walked with Harm and Commander Rice out onto the flight deck.

The skipper had given Harm permission to go up with the Commander so that they could duplicate his mission. Commander Rice was convinced that he should resign because of the 'voices' he heard that kept him from performing his duty. His failure to engage had nearly gotten him and his RIO killed. Resigning and turning in his wings was no answer, as far as Harm was concerned. There had to be a logical explanation for what happened.

Mac stopped after taking a few steps, as Harm and Commander Rice walked toward the F-14's. She called out to him, teasing, "Be sure you're back before the street lights come on, young man."

He turned back to look at her, "Yes, Mom." He smiled at her, but then turned his attention to the flight deck.

It was amazing, but as Mac looked at him, it was as though she were watching him step into another world, one in which she had no place. She had flown with him in the Stearman and in a MIG while they were in Russia, but this was something different, entirely. Seeing him like this, on a carrier, in a flight suit, walking across the deck like it was something he did every day of his life, made her see a hard reality. This was where he really wanted to be, his night blindness was the only thing that kept him at JAG.

As he climbed into the F-14's cockpit, he turned back to look at Mac for a moment. His face was an open book. Mac felt her heartbeat accelerate, he was perfect, and he looked like a recruiting poster. He had the look of someone happily doing what he was born to do. She knew he felt it too, no words were necessary. She waved and mouthed 'good luck.' He nodded and slipped into his seat, returning his mind completely to the task at hand.

Mac knew she was already investing too much of her heart. She had no reason to think Harm saw her as anything more than a friend. There was no denying it; she was a friend�.a friend who was falling hopelessly, helplessly, in love with him.

"Did he return to the squadron�.did he marry the girl?" Lieutenant Clarence was still asking questions.

XO Gabriel nodded toward the pictures that continued to move across the opening in the clouds. "Time is growing short Clarence, watch closely."

1235

Tuesday

May 18, 1999

JAG Headquarters

Admiral Chegwidden's office

"Change your designator?" Admiral Chegwidden's brow furrowed when he looked at Harm's formal request.

"Yes�sir." Harm had dreaded this, almost more than any aspect of his separation from JAG. He knew the Admiral had invested a lot in his career here at JAG. Harm believed he saw him as someone who might one day step into the position of Judge Advocate General. There were times Harm believed he would too.

"This is a setback for your career, you know that don't you?"

"Permission to speak freely sir?"

"You may."

"Sir, I joined the Navy to be an aviator, it's what I wanted and now since having the laser ablation on my eyes. I can return to it. I don't see how anyone who has ever been out in the fleet could stand to be chained to a desk for the rest of their career." He meant to soften the blow, but only managed to make things worse.

The Admiral gave him a direct look, and Harm realized that he had just placed his foot squarely in his mouth.

"Sir, I didn't mean�"

"I know what you meant, Commander; I just want you to be sure you understand what you're giving up."

"Sir, I love the law, but I want a chance to return to what I wanted to do in the first place. I want to make a difference�"

"We are making a difference here, Commander, though it may not be as glamorous as flying an F-14."

"I know that, sir. I have the utmost respect for you and what we do here�but," this was not going as he had planned.

"Very well, I'll take it under advisement." The Admiral understood, and he knew Harm well enough to know that this was only going to get worse.

"Sir, I"

"Dismissed."

Harm came to attention and turned and left the room.

1425

Tuesday

May 25, 1999

JAG Headquarters

Harm and Mac stood facing each other in his office, he was leaving JAG, leaving her and Mac could hardly believe it. Everything happened so fast. One moment he was telling her about how well the laser ablation worked on his eyes and the next he was on his way to Oceana, to await his assignment to a squadron. She barely had time to absorb his decision to leave JAG.

She tried to keep the conversation light, but the tears were rolling down her cheeks anyway. He looked as though he didn't know, until that moment, what he meant to her.

When she asked if he was going to say goodbye he had asked, "Why goodbye, and not good luck." She reminded him that he had said the same to her when she had been stupid enough to leave JAG. She emphasized 'stupid' but she didn't think he noticed.

"That was different, you were in love."

"And you're not?" Mac wasn't completely sure who she was asking about now, Jordan, or herself. What puzzled her was that she felt as though she were losing so much more than Jordan.

Harm was her best friend; there was no one she trusted more, she knew he felt the same way about her�. that was why this was so hard.

When he answered, "What does love have to do with anything, anyway�?"

Harm, for his part, hadn't prepared himself for this. Jordan's reaction had been hard to take, but Mac's tears�they were another matter. What did all this mean?

The looks exchanged between them, told them that they were more than friends, but it was as Mac said, they couldn't find the words.

They embraced for a moment and parted. She did finally wish him good luck and left the room.

Harm watched her leave as he put the last of his things in a cardboard box. He felt a pang of regret, but he pushed it away. He was going, that was all there was to it. This was his chance, to get back out into the world. Being out in the fleet, centered him in a way nothing else could, it connected him to his father and his grandfather. He had always felt that flying, and serving his country were part of his heritage. When he lost that, he lost his connection to what made him who he was. He wanted that back.

Mac said she would stay in touch, he hoped she would. He hadn't wanted to lose the relationship he had with Jordan, though it was far from a permanent one. He could weather that.

Leaving today had made thing one thing very clear to him, he never wanted to lose Mac.

1245

Tuesday

October, 5, 1999

USS Patrick Henry

In the Adriatic Sea

Harm stood in the passageway, punching in his mother's phone number. He had some news, news he knew she'd be relieved to hear.

"Mom?"

"Darling, how are you?" She hadn't spoken with him in more than two months.

"Fine, I just wanted to let you know, I'll be going back to JAG, probably next week."

"What?" His mother was secretly delighted, though she hadn't voiced an opinion about it.

"Why the change? What happened?'

"Things are fine here, I'm doing well, but after talking with the CAG, my chances for advancement are pretty slim. He left it up to me, and I chose to go back. I'm lucky that my old slot is still open at JAG."

"Are you going to be okay with this, honey?" It seemed that her peace of mind and his happiness were always at odds.

"I'm fine, Mom" His mother heard the disappointment in his voice, though he seemed to be trying hard to cover it.

"You did do a fine job at JAG, Harm. I'm sure everyone will be glad to have you back."

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"How is Mac, anyway?" Trish was of the opinion that she was 'the' one for Harm.

"Fine, I guess." Trish could hear the smile in his voice.

"Quite the girl isn't she?"

"Yes, I suppose she is." His mother was 'fishing' again.

"The kind who would help you find the answers, son."

"Mac is probably going out with one of the other attorneys at JAG, Mom. We're just friends�.. Don't start Mom." He grinned as he said it. Ever since he turned 30, his mother had made it her mission to convince him that he should be married and provide her with grandchildren.

"You may be just friends Harm, but you've told me more about Sarah Mackenzie than you have about any other woman you have ever dated. I feel as though I know her and I've never met her. There has to be a reason for that, son."

"Yeah�okay�.. Mom, I really have to go, other people are waiting for the phone. I'll call you when I get back to DC, okay?"

Trish Burnett smiled, knowing she had made her point, and he was evading her question.

"Alright, talk to you then, love you son."

"You too, bye." Harm replaced the handset on the unit on the wall and walked back down the empty passageway, to his quarters.

He thought about e mailing Mac, but in the end, decided not to. She had been friendly when he saw her last week and she seemed genuinely glad to see him, but something was different. She hadn't even told him about her promotion. He had been so glad to see her, but she seemed distant, and Brumby's irritating presence didn't help. Brumby made it clear from the beginning, when he first came to JAG, that he was going after Mac. She hadn't seemed interested then, but now, he wasn't sure.

1625

Friday

October 8, 1999

Office of the Secretary of the Navy

Lieutenant Commander Teddy Lindsey sat in front of the desk of his boss, Secretary Nelson. He had just spoken with the commanding officer aboard the Patrick Henry, it seemed he had spoken with the CAG and he had, in turn, talked with Commander Rabb.

The SecNav had 'suggested,' not ordered, that it be made clear to the Commander what his career options were. The CAG had reportedly been reluctant, Rabb's leadership skills, and his 'cool head' under fire, made him valuable to him. However, his commanding officer convinced him it would be better for Rabb to go back to JAG.

Ignoring a 'suggestion' from the SecNav wasn't a good career move, for anyone.

"Your input was appreciated on this, Commander. I think Commander Rabb will be put to better use at JAG. It would be foolish to waste his talent in a career that will, in the end, be a dead end for him.

"I'm glad to have been of help sir." Teddy Lindsey had been glad when he heard that Commander Rabb had left JAG. He hoped it would open another slot for him, but the Admiral had made it clear, very diplomatically, that he wasn't needed on his staff.

When he heard about Rabb's nomination for yet another DFC, his resentment of him grew. The Navy's golden boy at JAG was proving to be the same in the air. He couldn't stand to hear him praised to the skies. Everything seemed too easy, Rabb only got into the Academy because of his family connections. Rabb never did anything by the book in his life, and all he seemed to get were accolades. He could just cool his heels back at JAG. Lindsey thought that if he wasn't going to realize his dream at JAG, Rabb wasn't going to have his come true either.

Lindsey's convoluted reasoning made him believe that Commander Rabb was the reason he had lost the confidence of Admiral Chegwidden. He intended to make him pay for that. His input, emphasizing nothing but the 'best interests of the Navy'' to the SecNav that Rabb might be an asset to JAG may have looked like a compliment, but it had not been.

He wanted to take from Commander Rabb something that meant everything to him� flying. He couldn't keep him out of any privately owned aircraft, but he would not be flying for the Navy anymore.

1545

Friday

October 15, 1999

JAG Headquarters

Harm was finishing his first week back a JAG and it had been hellacious. He barely had time to get his bearings when the Admiral blindsided him with a high profile case. He expected to be saddled with case reviews and busy work, as Mac was when she returned from her brief hiatus from JAG. No such luck, his first case had him in conflict with everyone in sight, the Admiral, the Secretary of the Navy, Brumby, his client, Lieutenant Nelson and Nelsons CO, Commander Burk. Worse yet, he fought with Mac, the Admiral's newly appointed Chief of Staff about how he was trying the case.

The SecNav's son, Lieutenant Brian Nelson, who was accused of disobeying a direct order, refused one concession after another from his CO and trial counsel. The lieutenant could have returned to duty, without a mark on his record, but his wounded pride and old resentments against his own father, kept him from seeing his own fault in the matter.

Harm stood leaning against the counter in the break room, still deep in thought. Lieutenant Bud Roberts entered the room, with someone who wanted to meet him.

"Commander Rabb, this is Renee Petersen, she's directing a recruiting commercial. She asked to meet you."

Harm pushed off of the counter and stood straight. He offered her his hand. "Ms Petersen."

"Call me Renee." She looked at him admiringly; this was definitely someone she wanted to get to know.

"Harm" She was a beautiful woman, but just a bit over the top for him.

"I'd really like to talk with you, you know, get some perspective on the more exciting side of Navy life. What I've been able to see from this side of things, is�well, pretty boring." She laughed nervously, and just a bit too loudly.

Harm smiled, "That'd be great..."

Renee saw an opening and took a step away from Bud, toward Harm, one step to close for Harm's comfort. "Great, how about dinner? I'm staying at the Willard."

"Uh, well�I'll...uh, get back with you on that." Harm side stepped and backed away from her

Bud couldn't hide his amusement at Harm's hasty retreat; this lady was a barracuda, no doubt about that.

Harm made his way back into the bullpen and looked at Mac's office, with its closed door. Her blinds were closed, but he could see the light from her desk lamp. He wanted to talk to her, see her alone for just a moment, but where to begin? Everything seemed so awkward between them now.

Harm walked over to the copier and looked again at her closed blinds. He walked over to the bookcase, pretending to scan the books nearest her door. He could knock on her door; make up something, about a case�anything. Looking over his shoulder toward the break room, he thought, he sure as hell needed to be somewhere before Renee Petersen came out of the break room. Making the decision to do this later, he started to turn toward his office, when Mac opened her door.

"Hey." Her expression was still unreadable as it had been since he first came back to JAG, a week ago.

"Hey" He answered her, not quite meeting her eyes.

Mac's desk phone rang. She turned to pick it up. "Colonel Mackenzie"

It was Jack Keeter. "Hey, how's my best girl?"

'Hello Jack, how are you?" Mac couldn't keep the smile from her face. He reminded her of better times, times when she and Harm were close.

The look on her face reminded Harm of the Mac he knew, the sweetness he saw now, was what he remembered when he had missed her, all these months. He had always felt that this side of her was something she allowed only a few people to see. Now, he knew that it meant everything to him, that she trusted him enough to allow him a glimpse, of this side of her.

"Is Harm anywhere around? I can't get him in his office." Jack was sounding a bit frustrated.

"Yes, he's right here."

Mac looked at Harm, her eyes still sparkling with humor and delight. "You've got a call in here."

Harm acknowledged her, questioning, trying to keep his expression neutral, he had heard her speaking, at least Jack was someone they had in common. Hopefully something they could talk about without arguing.

"Yes, its Jack Keeter, he's been trying to reach you." As she stood at her desk, the smile began to leave her and she looked unsure whether Harm would come into her office or not. To say things had been tense between them would be an understatement.

Harm walked in, closing her office door behind him.

"I've got him right here Jack."

"Put us on speaker phone, I want you to hear this too."

Mac looked toward the closed door of her office. "I don't think I should, Harriet is listening."

Harriet, who had been watching all this unfold with amusement, was in fact, just outside Mac's door at the copier. She drew in a breath sharply and scurried back to her desk. She didn't realize she was that obvious.

Mac had the phone to her ear, then she pulled it slightly away, "Here, Harm�we can both listen."

Harm stood closer to her, his awareness of her flooding all of his senses, determined to keep them under control, he leaned down, just close enough to hear Jack. "Hey, Harm, are ya sitting down?"

"What?" Harm was close enough to Mac, to take in the scent of her perfume, making concentration nearly impossible. He had missed her so much and though he had buried much of his attraction for her, being this close to her was making that more difficult to hide by the minute.

He looked down into Mac's eyes as he listened to Jack, "Hey, I'm thinking of getting out of Company business and starting a business of my own. Rabb and Keeter aviation�whaddya think?"

"Rabb and Keeter Aviation?" Harm repeated as Mac turned to look at him more fully, completely drawn into his gaze. There were two conversations going on here. The one they were having with Jack and the silent one full of strong attraction, love, and questions neither of them had the words to answer. Mac looked away for a moment brushing the top of her head against his chin, her soft hair brushing against his lips.

He straightened his neck abruptly, trying to get his mind on what Jack was saying. Mac looked up at him, the questions still there, but he couldn't answer. He could only look down at her lips and involuntarily began to lean down, with his lips just inches from hers.

"Rabb, are you still there?" Jacks voice brought reality back for a moment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here." Harm turned away, frowning, trying, once again to regain control.

"Do you have any money?

"Money? Yeah, well�a little"

"Great, I'll be coming into DC later next week, we'll talk about it."

"I don't know Jack." He didn't even remember what he was talking about.

"Oh come on man, are you going to be chained to a desk the rest of your career? You're only half alive if you're not flying, and you know it. Tell him Mac; tell him it's the chance of a lifetime."

Mac turned to Harm again. "He�.says it's a chance of a �lifetime."

Harm looked down into her face, her beautiful eyes drawing him in closer. They were at work, they were in uniform, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to walk away from her this time. He was losing control and suddenly, it was making him mad as hell. He didn't want to be anchored to a desk or a business, he didn't want to be anchored to anyone or anything but here he was.

He didn't want to return to JAG but, deep down, he knew he had no choice, he didn't want to give in to what he felt for Mac, but he couldn't help himself. He took her by both of her arms, gripping tightly, causing Mac to drop the phone's handset on the floor.

"Now you listen to me, I don't want to go in any business, I don't want to leave the Navy, I don't care how much money I'll make, and I don't want to get married to anyone�EVER."

Mac was so stunned by his sudden reaction that she didn't react at first, but when he said he didn't want to marry anyone, ever, it hurt, making her eyes sting with tears. Why was he so angry with her? She had tried to distance herself, so that whatever he decided to do wouldn't hurt her, but it hadn't worked. Mac still loved him and whatever he said or did meant everything to her.

Tears ran down Mac's cheeks, unchecked, all she could do was shake her head and breathe his name over and over, "Harm�Harm" her eyes, pleading with him to allow himself to love her as much as she loved him.

Harm's anger left him as quickly as it had come, when he immediately saw how much he was hurting her.

"Mac, I'm so�" He pulled her into an embrace. "I'm sorry�.I didn't mean to �I just, I don't�" He was reacting and not thinking when he began to kiss her cheeks as he spoke, trying to soothe the hurt he knew he was responsible for. She reached up with one hand to touch his face, her own apology in her eyes, and he stopped and spoke her name. "Mac�"

She had known it and then denied it, then hoped it, and prayed it over and over. He loved her; she could see it in his eyes.

It was, for moment, as though they were the only two people in the world. He kissed her then, passionately, with all the love he had hidden in his heart. She slipped her arms around his neck, accepting it as he drew her tightly to him.

'Oh God,' he thought, 'I'm finally home.' He had lost a lot in his life, but what he was feeling right now just might make it all worth while.

The phone's handset still lay on the floor. Jack's voice could be heard, but barely. "I'll take that as a 'No.'"

A slightly embarrassed Lieutenant Clarence rocked on his heels and looked away. "Wedding bells�huh?"

XO Gabriel cleared his throat. "Uh�yes, they were married."

TBC

A/N: Just a note to remind you all that this is AU. The story line parallels are more loosely held in this story than with Notorious, but they are there.

I'll try and do some clarification.

George Bailey's dream of leaving Bedford Falls

Harm's dream of returning to flying, and leaving Falls Church.

George/Harm's connection to their fathers

George/Harm's mother wanting to get them married, to the 'kind of girl that will help you find the answers' (wink wink)

Mary/Mac's strong love and admiration for George/Harm

George/Harm's obliviousness to it.

Mac/Mary's frustration with Harm/George's evasiveness, when it comes to his feelings for her.

George/Harm's struggle with anything that would make him 'settle down.' Also that overriding feeling of things that he could have accomplished� if only.

I had Harm and the Admiral have the conversation that George and his father had about getting back out to the fleet/ getting out of Bedford Falls. I didn't kill AJ off, I refuse, I want to try and keep this light. 'Notorious' and '24'just about KILLED ME.

Once again, the parallels won't be exact, but I hope you all will see where I'm going. Stay with me, folks, I know where I'm going. No�.really. (Smile)

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[> [> [> [> Chapter 7/9 -- mkim, 13:58:57 01/01/15 Thu [1]

'It's a Wonderful Life' at JAG

Chapter 7

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. I don't own the rights to the story or the movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life.' Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: The movie 'It's a Wonderful Life' Any JAG episode up to and through Season 10. A secondary character from the episode 'All Ye Faithful' will enter and exit in the same scene. He isn't specifically named in that episode or in this story, only his title will be used for purposes of identification.

A/N: You may notice that I took a familiar name and created a character�.to suit my own evil purposes. (Grin)

Rating K

2246

Christmas Eve, 2004

Benzigers Bar

Harm sat at the bar, unaware of just how many drinks he had so far. The more he tried to think his way out of the predicament he was in, the deeper he seemed to fall into despair. He kept hearing the sarcasm and condescension in Commander Lindsey's voice, and seeing his sneering face. Harm had always taken a great deal of comfort in his fathers honor and reputation with his peers. Now his and his father's service would forever be associated with betrayal and treason. His heritage was being destroyed before his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. He thought of his son, seeing him in his minds eye. Little Jack standing there beside the couch, with tears welling in his eyes as he looked at him. The fear and confusion in his expression, Harm would never forget. It pained him to think that his own son had been afraid of him. Harm shook his head, trying to clear the heart rending vision from his mind.

The thought occurred to him to do something he hadn't done since he was very young. He prayed. 'God�I'm not a praying man, but please�help me, I don't know what to do.'

Joanna, the woman tending bar tonight, was familiar with Commander Rabb and his wife. She had been a witness to many of the Rabb's and their colleagues' celebrations here at the bar. Benzigers had been the place to gather to celebrate promotions, weddings, even farewell parties were held here, when someone transferred out of JAG. She had never seen the Commander in such a state. She had been watching him since he arrived over 2 hours ago.

Joanna had always been a person who minded her own business, but now, she was about to make an exception. Her boss and owner of the bar, Ed Benziger considered the Commander a good and honorable man. Commander Rabb was one of the reasons he owned this bar.

Ed Benziger was a retired Senior Chief, and Ed had told Joanna how the Commander had defended him, when he had been wrongly accused of theft of government property. The incident occurred just before his retirement, 5 years ago. The Commander's thorough investigation revealed that Benziger was being set up by his CO, who was later prosecuted for the crime. The accusations could have lost Benziger his pension and his VA benefits, not to mention the possibility of doing time in Leavenworth. His VA benefits had allowed him to get the loan for his business, a business that had turned his life around.

Joanna decided it was time to talk to her boss. Maybe he could talk to the Commander, and convince him to go home. She knew the Commander was a family man. What could he be doing out on Christmas Eve night...alone?

Just minutes later Ed Benziger walked behind the bar and positioned his stocky frame before Commander Rabb. He removed the cigar from the corner of his mouth, and tried to get the Commander to tell him what the matter was.

"Commander Rabb�sir. It's getting late..."

Harm looked up from his drink, his eyes glazed and half closed. "Hey, Senior, how ya doing?"

"I'm fine, but if you don't mind my saying so Commander, you don't look so hot." He then noticed the Commanders rumpled uniform, the smears on the lapels of his jacket and shirt.

Harm's eyes followed Benzigers gaze and what he saw, made his face burn with shame, when he thought of Little Jack.. He cleared his throat and answered, "My son�got a little carried away."

"Commander Rabb, sir, it's getting kinda late� I'd be happy to call your wife so that she could come and get you. I don't think you should be driving anywhere tonight."

A man on the other side of the bar heard the name 'Rabb' and raised his head. He recognized Commander Rabb immediately. The man stood and walked over to where Harm was seated at the bar.

"Commander Rabb." The man's tone was sharp.

Harm turned and looked at him, trying to recall who this man was.

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't." Who ever he was, the man looked to have a huge chip on his shoulder, and suddenly that was just fine with Harm. He wanted to hit something; this guy's face was just the target he needed.

"I was the CAG aboard the Coral Sea, two years ago, at one of the times you decided to play naval aviator."

Harm recognized the man's face now, but he could not recall his name. The man looked angry, as angry as he had been the last time he saw him. He couldn't understand why the man resented him so much, he barely knew the man, and outside that brief contact, Harm had never seen him before in his life. The CAG's words to him came back to him as clearly as if he had just spoken them: "I won't allow you to undermine a perfectly valid level of resentment with me�."

"Yes, I remember now, it was Christmas Eve." Looking at him now, Harm wondered why he had ever given damn whether the CAG had liked him or not.

"Yeah, that's right, and I told you that if you did anything other than take that aircraft to its appointed destination that I would see that you had your wings yanked. Does that ring a bell, Commander?"

Harm was beginning to sober up, fast. He had already had all he could take tonight; he wasn't sure he could be civil, even if this man outranked him.

"Yes I remember, sir." Harm's lips tightened into a thin line.

"You don't have to 'sir' me Rabb, I'm retired. I was 'asked' to retire, after I filed a complaint against you. It seems that you have too many friends in high places and those friends decided, that if all I was concerned with was yanking the wings of a part time aviator, that maybe I needed to find another way to make a living."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He was not, the man was an ass. His lack of sincerity was apparent to the former CAG and Ed Benziger.

"Like hell you are, and to top it off, I read in the Navy Times that you got another DFC last year. I bust my ass out in the fleet and in the air for 25 years and you have more decorations than I do."

Ed Benziger could see where this was going as soon as the Commander started to stand. He was about to see the Commander get himself in more trouble. Benziger was not going to allow the Commander to get himself slapped with an assault charge.

He got between the Commander and the former CAG and with his back to Harm, he pointed toward the door. "It's time to go, buddy. If it's a fight you want, you're not going to find it here."

The man looked disgusted, "I'll leave when I'm ready�Senior." The retired officer decided to try to pull rank.

Harm's eyes narrowed and the anger rose in him too quickly for him to get it under control. "I thought you said you were retired."

"That's right." The man was glaring at Harm, his expression daring him to take a step closer.

Harm put his hand on Benzigers shoulder, his eyes never leaving the former CAG, "Then don't worry about it Ed, this man has no authority over you." Harm started to step around the bar's proprietor.

"Go home, Mister." Benziger stepped again between the two men and continued to try to get the trouble maker to leave.

The title 'mister' enraged the former CAG and he shoved Benziger into Harm. "I said� I'm not ready to leave."

Harm's temper flared, and he swung at Benzigers attacker but the number of drinks he had that night had caused his reactions to slow. Harm was instead hit hard on his chin and at the side of his mouth.

The former CAG knew that he had gone too far when Harm fell backward. He threw the money to pay his tab and left the bar immediately.

"Get out of here, before I call the cops." Ed Benziger had turned and knelt down, trying to help the Commander.

"I'm alright, Ed. Don't worry about it. I just got a fat lip in an answer to a prayer." He wiped the blood from the side of his mouth.

"Let me call you cab, sir. You're in no shape to drive anywhere tonight."

Harm threw some cash on the bar to pay his tab and turned to leave.

"Let me call Colonel. Rabb sir." Benziger knew that Commander Rabb's wife would want to know where he was on a night like tonight.

Harm turned quickly back toward him, nearly losing his balance. "No!" Then realizing how loud he had been, he repeated his answer. "No, don't. I'll be fine." He turned back toward the door and under his breath he said, "She's better off without me, anyway."

Ed had heard the Commander and knew he had better call Colonel Rabb for sure now.

Harm walked unsteadily out the door and to his van. It had begun to snow heavily and thankfully, traffic was light, this Christmas Eve.

Ed Benziger sat at his desk in his makeshift office behind his bar. He had just called Colonel Rabb but still felt there was more he should have done. Commander or not, he should have made Commander Rabb stay, until his wife came to pick him up. He had closed and locked the door to the tiny room. He turned off the overhead light, leaving just the light on his desk to illuminate the room. Rubbing his work worn hands together and then finally clasping them, he awkwardly bowed his head, nodding and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Uh�God, I uh�I know I don't pray, but it's not for me. I'm �it's about Commander Rabb. Someone who helped me�I mean�. He's in trouble; I don't know�.Help him God. Help my friend Harmon Rabb."

Across town in Arlington�.

Patricia Rabb Burnett stood and walked over to the television and turned it off. The television anchorperson seemed to be gleefully telling of some type of problem with the Judge Advocate Generals office. She had no details but said there was news forthcoming of a scandal the likes of which Washington had never seen. The young woman had to gall to laugh and say 'who says the holidays are a slow news cycle. Stay tuned.' Trish couldn't listen anymore. She dialed Harm's cell phone and got no answer. She called him at home and Mac answered the phone. "Mac, honey, its Trish. Is Harmon at home?"

"No, Trish I'm sorry. I've been trying to get him on the phone all evening; he left a couple of hours ago. Ed Benziger called a few minutes ago and apparently he's been there most of the evening, but wouldn't allow Ed to call me before he left. Something is wrong, I don't know what it is, and he wouldn't tell me." Mac tried to keep the tears out of her voice.

"Have you been watching ZNN?"

Mac looked across the living room to the television. "No"

She walked over to the set and turned it on. There was a woman speaking into a microphone standing in front of JAG headquarters. "I've got it."

"Do you know what's going on?"

"No, and Harm didn't say anything. I just know he was very upset, not acting like himself at all." Mac didn't want to have to explain that they had argued and he left without giving her any indication of what was going on or where he was going.

"Listen, Trish, let me call you back; I want to try to reach Admiral Chegwidden. He might be able to shed some light on what is going on."

"Keep me posted Mac."

"Will do. I'm sorry I can't tell you more, I'll call as soon as I know anything."

They ended the call, each woman feeling ill at ease about Harmon Rabb Jr. and feeling totally helpless to do anything about it.

Trish walked to her living room window and watched the Christmas Eve snow swirling down onto the ground. She closed her eyes and prayed silently for her son, knowing that this was all she could do now.

After Mac replaced the handset onto the phone, she stood with her arms folded in front of her chest watching the reporter on television.

The reporter stated that 'sources' at the Pentagon had said that certain facts, facts that had been classified for a very long time, were about to come to light. These facts would expose a possible espionage ring that had been in place since the late sixties, a part of which was believed to be operating out of the Judge Advocate Generals Office.

Mac placed her hand over her mouth, what could this possibly have to do with Harm? She picked up her phone and dialed the Admiral's home number. There was no answer. She tried his cell phone and was immediately transferred to voice mail.

Mac automatically walked up the stairs to check on her daughter. She walked into her bedroom and stood beside her bed. She leaned down and placed her hand on her daughter's brow, now cooler than it had been 2 hours ago. Zara stirred, but she did not appear to wake.

She straightened and stepped back from her daughter's bed. As she stepped away, she prayed in a whisper.

"Oh God, please�please help Harm. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do." She turned, looking one more time at her daughter, as she closed the door to her bedroom. As Mac was closing the door, she didn't notice the little girl, rolling onto her back and clasping her hands together. When the door was completely closed Zara spoke sincerely to a Power she talked with often, in her innocent and uncluttered mind.

"Dear God, please help my daddy� something's wrong." Zara spoke aloud in the quiet room.

After Mac looked in on Little Jack she walked down the steps to the foyer, As she did, she noticed Harm's briefcase, sitting in the foyer near the hall tree. She went to it and picked it up and placed it on a small table, in the entry way. She opened it and a newspaper nearly fell out and on to the floor. Mac picked it up and opened it. It was a copy of the Washington Globe, dated December 26th, 2004. Mac frowned, and then her eyes were immediately drawn to the picture, the headline above it and the caption beneath it.

Mac walked slowly into the den as she read the article. She stepped over to the couch and sat down, leaning forward, bringing the paper more closely to her face, her eyes locked onto the page, straining, as though she were trying to make herself believe what she was reading.

Mac lifted her head when she finished the article. Her heart rate quickening, now it all made sense. Somehow, she had known this had to do with Commander Lindsey, Harm had told her about his audit and his not so subtle jibes at Harm and herself. No wonder Harm was in such a state. She picked up the phone on the end table and dialed Jennifer Coates phone number.

"Jen? This is Mac, I'm sorry to call so late, but I need your help. Can you come back and stay with Little Jack and Zara." Mac's voice broke with her last word.

"Is something wrong ma'am."

"Yes, Jen and I have to get in touch with some people, quickly." Mac cleared her throat, reining in her emotions, knowing she had to think now; her family's future depended on it.

"I've been watching ZNN ma'am. If I can ask, does it have to do with that?"

"I think so. I really can't talk about it. Not yet. Can you come right away?"

"I understand ma'am, and of course, I'll be right there."

"Thanks."

In less than a half an hour Jen had gotten back to the Rabb's house and Mac was on her way out of their drive. As she pulled away from her home, the advance copy of the Washington Globe along with her; she took out her cell phone and called a friend who had never failed either of them. Everyone seemed to be unreachable tonight, but somehow, she knew that this friend would not be.

2310

Christmas Eve

Theodore Roosevelt Bridge

Washington D.C.

Harm stood on the bridge, watching the current of the river swiftly moving beneath him. He had nearly killed himself just minutes ago� and who ever was driving the vehicle he had pulled out in front of. The near miss had shaken Harm so badly that he had immediately pulled over and gotten out of his van. How could he have been so stupid, he thought, he'd already ruined enough lives, he didn't want to be responsible for the destruction of anymore. Prior to his near accident, he was on his way to the Wall, so he left his van and began walking and some how, had ended up here on this bridge, instead.

There was still a light snow falling and it was quiet around the bridge, he heard nothing but the sound of the rushing water of the river beneath him. He turned and looked back at the city. He could see the Lincoln Memorial and the Jefferson Memorial just beyond. The lights that lined the walk in front of the Wall could be seen from where he stood. Lights from Christmas decorations scattered from one end of the Capital to the other contrasted with the white lights of the streets and traffic.

Life was going on around him, but at this moment, he felt entirely separate from the world. He turned again and looked down at the river, the thought ran through his mind, fleetingly, that it would be so easy for someone to just step off and never be heard from again.

Harm shook his head, dismissing the thought, berating himself for even thinking it. He could never leave Mac to face this alone, but at this moment, he had no hope, nothing to give her in this situation. The knowledge of that hurt him as badly as anything else that Lindsey was throwing at him.

Mac had always told him that one of the reasons that she loved him was because he never gave up. He never had, but now, for the first time in his life, he didn't think he could go on. He didn't seem to be able to reach that place within himself that would enable him to fight against the injustice of what Lindsey was about to do to them. He felt completely powerless to change what was going to happen. He bowed his head, the weight of the situation, paining him to his heart.

Harm turned away from the water and looked toward the other side of the bridge and suddenly he felt, rather than saw, something rush closely past him and over the railing of the bridge. It seemed to come from above him, but he had seen nothing. He heard a loud splash and he turned back again to see a man struggling in the swift current of the river.

"Help!" Lieutenant Clarence called, the water from the river choking him as he called, "I cant swim! Help me!"

Harm called back to him loudly, "Hang on, I'm coming!" He crossed the bridge and ran down the embankment, to try and catch the man before he was swept further downriver with the current. "Grab on to the branch, I'll pull you in!"

"Help!�Heeeelllpp!"

Harm looked down the embankment, to see the young man trying to grab hold of one of the branches that hung over the river. He called to the man, telling him not to panic. To hang on, that he would help him.

Harm inched down to the edge of the embankment and reached out, close enough to allow the man to take hold of his hand. Harm could see now that the man couldn't have been more than 18 years old.

"It's alright son, just grab on, I'll pull you in." Harm wanted to reassure him. The kid's eyes were huge, with fear.

When he reached for Harm's hand and clasped it, Harm pulled and as he got closer to the embankment, the young man seemed to pull harder on his hand, in what Harm thought was panic. "I've got you, its okay." He reassured him, but it was to no avail. The young man pulled harder on his hand and Harm fell, head first, into the river, sending his cover flying back onto the riverbank.

The icy water felt like a shock to his entire body as it swirled around him. Harm's head came up almost immediately, looking for the young man who was still calling for help. Harm's gazed followed the place where the sound was coming from, to see him holding onto the branch.

"Hang on!" Harm was yelling as loudly as he could. The sound of the water rushing around them, nearly drowned the sound of his voice. Harm was able to grab onto another tree branch, just a few feet down the river. Just as he pulled himself just far enough up to reach him, the young man lost his grip on his branch. Harm reached for him and caught him again, by his coat before the current pulled him out of Harm's reach.

He pulled the young man up to the branch he was holding on to and put him in front of him, guiding him closer to the riverbank. Making sure this time, the frightened young man didn't send them both back out into the rivers strong current. They were out of the water in moments, both soaking wet and shivering from the cold.

Harm walked over to where his cover had fallen and picked it up. He turned to look at the

shivering young man and asked. "What are you doing out here? You could have drowned."

"I know, but I didn't, because you saved me, you saved my life and you seemed to want to hold on to your own." Lieutenant Clarence was wearing a satisfied smile, thinking all the while that XO Gabriel would be impressed with the way he was able to show the Commander his true character, his habit of putting others before himself. The Commander was fighting for his own life, as well as trying to save his. This was working out just like Lieutenant Clarence had hoped, even when the Commander had lost his grip on him, he wouldn't give up. The old Harmon Rabb Jr. that he had begun to admire was still in there, Lieutenant Clarence thought, he just needed to find a way to bring him back out.

Harm looked at the man curiously, just now taking in the clothing he was wearing. He was wearing an oversized double breasted coat, apparently some kind of uniform, but of what service or country, Harm could not tell. Knee high boots, with his trousers tucked in and the cap? What was that? It looked like an old aviators cap.

"What is your name?" Maybe this guy escaped from the Psychiatric ward of the VA hospital, though the kid seemed a bit young for that.

Lieutenant Clarence stepped up to him and offered his hand. "Lieutenant George Clarence, angel, second class."

Harm's eyes narrowed and though he clasped the young man's hand, he took a small step backward. "What?"

"Just call me Lieutenant Clarence, I've been sent to tell you that you cannot throw away God's greatest gift. No matter what happens, you can't give up now."

Harm looked at him critically, trying to think of a way to get this kid back to whatever facility escaped from and out of the elements.

"I don't know what you're talking about�Lieutenant Clarence." Harm decided to humor this kid until he got him back where he belonged.

"I've been sent here, to help you, sir."

"To help me?" Harm couldn't help but see the irony. His help came to him in the form of a kid, half out of his mind, believing himself to be sent right out of heaven. He shook his head and turned and looked up the embankment, trying to figure out a way to climb back up to the bridge, without landing himself and this confused kid back down into the river. He said under his breath, "yeah, you look like the kind of guardian angel I'd get."

Lieutenant Clarence heard Harm's last comment. "Oh, I'm not an angel yet, Commander Rabb, I haven't got my wings."

Harm wheeled around and looked at him sharply. "What? How do you know my name?"

"I told you, I was sent here to help you, and if I do, I'll get my wings."

Harm didn't know who this kid was, but he was getting back up onto the bridge and they were going to catch a cab to Benzigers. Harm could call the hospital and find out if they were looking for this kid and they would get out of their wet clothes before the elements got the better of them both.

Harm was able to hail a cab, still not trusting himself to drive after his near miss earlier that evening.

Lieutenant Clarence looked over at Harm, both men still shivering from the cold, though not dripping wet as they had been before. "Thank you for pulling me out of the river, sir."

Harm looked at him and nodded an acknowledgement. "No problem."

"You're going to help me get my wings�.aren't you sir?"

Harm frowned, what was this kid talking about? He wondered.

"Your wings?"

"Yes sir, you haven't given up completely have you, sir? You not going to throw your life away now are you?" The young man looked at him with wide eyes, full of hope.

"I wasn't going to throw my life away." Harm looked at the cabbie that had been watching them both rather curiously in his rearview mirror, since they entered his cab.

"You were thinking about it."

For reasons Harm didn't understand he truthfully admitted to the obviously confused young man, what he wouldn't admit aloud to anyone. "I don't want to kill myself�Lieutenant Clarence; I suppose it would be better if I had never been born."

Lieutenant Clarence thought for a long moment about what Commander Rabb had said. He spoke aloud. "What do you think XO?"

Without being heard by Commander Rabb, XO Gabriel quickly gave his approval. "Okay Commander Rabb. You were never born."

A gust of wind, seemingly from nowhere, blew into the enclosed cab and then utter silence followed. Harm and Lieutenant Clarence's clothes were immediately dry and they were no longer shivering with cold. The cabbie, having heard and witnessed everything that had been said and done, slammed his foot onto the brake, nearly throwing both Harm and Lieutenant Clarence into the front seat.

He turned and looked at both men. "Get out! I don't know who you are or what you are, but both of you; get the hell out of my cab!"

Harm and Lieutenant Clarence were out of the cab in minutes and the cabbie sped away, watching nervously as his former passengers stood stunned on the side walk.

"Alright Clarence, what just happened here?"

"You were never born, sir." Lieutenant Clarence stated, in a very 'matter of fact' manner.

Harm reached up and brushed the tips of his fingers on his lip, which just seconds ago was swollen and painful to touch. There was no blood, and no pain.

"I think I need something to drink." This night was getting more and more strange. He needed to go someplace familiar. Ever since he pulled this kid out of the river, everything felt off kilter.

Harm turned and looked at the street sign they were only a block away from Benzigers.

The air was a lot less cool now that Harm's clothes were dry, "Come on�. Clarence, lets walk down the street, a friend of mind owns the bar on the corner.

"I don't know�I'm not sure I should�"

"Come on," He could at least get them out of the cold, until he could find out where this kid came from. It was strange though, he wasn't really feeling the elements at all now.

They walked down the street and to Harm's surprise, the bar which occupied the corner where Benzigers should be, was called Joanna's

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[> [> [> [> [> CHAPTER SEVEN HERE!!! -- mkim, 14:28:18 01/01/15 Thu [1]

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