| Subject: Guerilla Promos |
Author:
Ferg
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 23:53:14 02/14/02 Thu
Ferguson is found sitting in a folding chair, often found on the set of a movie or television show. Sean sits with his feet propped up on a small Asian girl, his toes are being painted by a set of large chested twins, a guy with "flare" fiddles with his hair and goes on and on about how Chambers is really a homosexual trying to free the beast. A thin balding man ambles up with a cell phone and holds it to Sean's ear.
Ferg: I don't care what it is that stalker Uhrig wants! He's not getting my dirty underwear for his little mantle! He wants something for his shrine, he better get it the same way everyone else does....yes I know, but the kids love that thing with the one legged woman.
The balding man folds up the phone and slides it in his pocket. He then reaches off screen, cracks open a brand new bottle of Poland Spring water and slurps some. He gargles, swishes, and even slides the water through his teeth. A look of surprise and elation spring into the thin man's face as he cranes himself above Sean's face and slowly drizzles the water into Sean's mouth. Sean swallows and looks happy into the camera.
Ferg: You can't be too careful these days. They say that a guy out in California bought some teddy bears and small propane canisters and planned to use them as bombs. That's why I have Ben Folds taste test the water, he's like my little canary....my little washed up canary.
Ben walks off camera, depressed. The twins begin to slowly "blow" dry his new nail polish. Sean peaks his right eyebrow and continues.
Ferg: But enough talking about that panty-waste, Enforcer. I don't know who he thins he.....Ok, I do know who he thinks he is. But I'll say this right now. Chappy, you aren't getting in the ring against my just by talkin' trash!
You gotta be vulgar! You gotta leave a mark that's going to bruise like the inner-thighs of my prom date! Hell! A couple of months ago, I shut this entire organization down! I proved to the people of this world that 2001 was indeed, Year of the Ferguson! People mocked me when I declared 2001 my year. People scoffed! Look at me now!
I've got Ben Folds testing my water! I've got DBR's greatest fan doing my hair.
The hair dresser flicks his wrists up and down in orgasmic joy.
Ferg: Yea, Scotty, he's got your phone number now...
I've got Taylor's little sisters doing my nails, and umm....heh....doin' other stuff off camera. You gotta live large. You gotta think big, accomplish your goals, and stamp, stomp, and piss on everyone and anyone on the way up. And dammit, extra brownie points if you get there early!
You have to punch your weight. And when you're done, and there's no one in your way, you put on the big boy gloves and squash those below you! Like what America does with Canada. They like to think that they're a separate state. Everyone knows, Canada is our bitch! They're the Taylor to our Krazy Queen Mike! So, you think long and hard about that little picture of yours, and whether or not it's going to belong on your wall of accomplishments. Cause when this wrecking ball is through, there's going to be no need for a wall, infact, no wall at all.
Sean flexxes and flashes a smile as Cypress Hill stumble up behind and begin to serenade him with an Italian Opera. The scene fades.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 