Date Posted:07:15:17 03/02/06 Thu Author: lakemnitz Subject: Re: love gone wrong In reply to:
chrys
's message, "love gone wrong" on 20:33:01 02/28/06 Tue
Wow! That is all I can say.....Twan you do give great advice. I loved what you said about the feeling being cowardice.
Chrys-I feel a lot like you in many ways about opening up. Even on this forum. I re-read what I wrote, ask myself does this make sense, who is going to think I am stupid.
I was or still am in a similar situation except that this person is in a very bad relationship and wants to leave but is pretty confused about the whole thing. I won't get involved with him while he is in it because I know how I would feel being the other person....no matter how bad the relationship is.
The last time we talked was about a month ago and I was pretty upset with him because some things happened between us, and it sounded like he was definitely going to get out and all of the sudden he says we are going to try counseling. This by the way was after I left him a very steamy message...I felt like a fucking idiot for allowing this to happen again. Not like it is wrong for him to go the counseling route....if the relationship is worth saving then go for it but don't get involved with someone else in the process....oops that is where my part in it is.
This was superbowl sunday and I was supposed to go over to some friends eat and watch the game so I said I had to go. Anyhow I was pissed that I didn't let him know how I felt so I called him back and left him a message telling him that I felt like a fucking idiot, and that if he still loves her then he needs to be committed to making this work, and not to set up the counseling for failure before they even start. He said that maybe she is just doing this to appease me well yeah that is what I think but I was not going to be the one to tell him that he needs to figure this out on his own.
So now we haven't talked and I feel like shit. We have known each other for quite a while (6 Years) and we discovered that we have a lot in common, same values, loves music, reading, movies, nature all of that. He loves going to shows...I feel like not only have a lost a potential soul mate but I have lost a friend in the process because there is no turning back now and it sucks.
I have left him a couple of messages over the last month asking how things are going, what is going on etc and he won't return my calls......part of me understands this because maybe he actually took what I said seriously about being committed to making things work and is trying to do that.
I'll write more later....I am going to be late for work. I have been asking myself a lot of deep questions lately and forgot that you guys have given me some of the best feedback I have ever had so.....talk later.
So glad I stumbled upon this thread. I read it all last night and thought about posting. It had me really thinking because I am going through the same thing right now myself.
As hard as I have been trying to keep my feelings in check I am losing the battle.
Anyway, the guy I am developing feelings for dropped this bomb on me yesterday: The ex called and she is pregnant! :0
I allowed myself to hold back and was stewing all night.
Anyway, reading all Chrys & Mr. 23 had to say prompted me to make the call.
So thanks to Twan & Chrys because I felt so much better after calling him and saying what was on my mind.
Twan what you said about the "cowardice" feelings will forever stick with me. Words of wisdom my friend!
