Date Posted:02:41:11 09/26/11 Mon Author: Rick Subject: Mongo News
According to the daily news, agents close to Ming have been able to determine the Blu-ray release of Star Wars Saga is the biggest Blu-ray release in the history of the format. $84 million in worldwide sales and $38 million for North America. In the first week, 515,000 units were sold and even Ming managed to get one by special courier.
Headline. Unfortunately, Ming does not have a Blu-ray player! He does not know this yet and minions afraid to tell him.
In other news, Torch's men have come across some secret Halloween items in the tunnels...film at eleven.
Gossip Column
Aura and Barin had a yelling match at a family gathering. Barin got a slap on the face from his beloved when he (again) called his father-in-law...a murderer. The Emperor became furious, tried to strike Barin, but Jenda came in and calmed Ming down. So far, all is quiet...for now.
Classified Section
Job Openings....2 temps wanted to utilize engraved shovels for some (unspecified) P/T maintenance in Tunnel of Terror. Good pay,100 Mingol life insurance policy
Pre-Owned Rocketship...needs some work, P.U. on Mars in Valley of Desolation. Radio and heater, cruise control, bobble head, and stereo, Les Preludes recording. Best offer
Televisor Guide
-Dusk to morning> Ming Access Channel (MAC)...Young Ming. He tries desperately, thru a series of interviews, to recall early days of his youth. He blasts Mongo historians for not recording, and claims excessive time in the lab (inhalation of toxic chemicals, and electromagnetic field exposure) apparently dulled his memory somewhat,he claims.. albeit temporarily perhaps.
-Renegade Channel> (RC) Barin discusses his memory woes, misplacing his rocket on Mars in Forest, and issues such as the structural integrity of his vial of Amphitron. He also teases about sneaking around the palace undetected. (Much audio is bleeped out however.)Barin also tells of his lusting for Princess Aura as an adolescent boy...but much bleeped out here also.) Sorry folks
Ask Zona...practical advice for romance column
D.A. writes: "Zona..many men here are interested in me, but I do not care for any of them on this planet..what can I do until I can leave"
Zona sez...obtain a costume to disguise yourself for now. I understand the Dis Guys shop on palace row has a Zuggs costume. That should work for awhile.
Sports
The arena is getting prepped up for the monkey men tournament. Challengers are invited for sport and a chance to win 50 Mingols.
The lizard monsters are being fed on a special diet to prepare them for an outdoor match near Zarkov's old rocketship still on the ground.
The orangopoid's step brother, "Hans Sum" is being trained as a replacement to fight in the Tournament of Death. Details not yet available.
Comics
-High Priest to Ming...you have offended Tao
-Ming to High Priest...lock up this babbling idiot
-Older High Priest to Ming...he's not an idiot,
he just babbles a lot.
-Ming...throw them both in the dungeon, find Happy Hapgood
and tie Hapgood next to these. Give Hapgood his
press camera with the bright flash bulbs. Order him
to shoot a couple film rolls close up of these two.
That should shut 'em up and dull their vision awhile so they won't find me. Heh
Advertising
-Vet Care...we coddle, treat and take care of creatures of all sorts, Urso sez..come here, they detail stripes nicely and reward with honey. The Octosak is given plenty of exercise fighting a the large squid. Tigrons enjoy frolicking with Mings prisoners. Hans Sum enjoys exercising by hurling around our own 3 monkey men. Reasonable rates. Monster sitting...your place or ours.
-Electrician...High voltage specialist, all kinds of repairs, from large sparking consoles to small Tesla like coils. Just call on "Sparky" Mongo 1-ZAP-COIL
-Audio Shak....expert on monitoring equip. State of art...no more visible wires hanging down a wall opening. We custom design. Also manufacture strong rope for rocketship transfers. Morse code lessons available..inquire. Much more for modern lifestyles.
Rumors can be fact based. Well, the new publication, MN Weekly has it on good authority that there will be a Monster Bash Party in select areas of the Tunnel of Terror. It will be a 2 1/2 day event. Package deal tickets or single day passes will be available while supplies last.
This is said to be the first Mingoween party ever in the kingdom. Celebs/visitors will be from various planets. Some of the performers and visitors to sign autographs will eg include...The Addams Family, ET for the kids, The Thing, Tobor, Godzilla and others. Films will also be shown, such as My Favorite Martian, Day of the Triffids, War of the Worlds.
Music will be supplied by "The Claymen Quartet" with "The Dueling Zuggs" on the drums. Mings harem chorus trio "The Mingettes" will also chime in, and it's rumored "The Man from Planet X" may play bass guitar.
Food will be available at additional cost...from fast foods, such as mushrooms in the caves, to delicacies such as poached octosak. Various draughts of forgetfulness will be availble for the adults.