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Date Posted: 18:26:58 04/25/01 Wed
Author: Anonymous
Subject: just because

someone helps you to change your life doesn't mean they care. it doesn't mean they see something special in you. i don't know what it means. for me it means i love you for helping and i wish you would stay and continue to be a friend of mine but that is up to you, and perhaps i am not a very good friend to you to begin with. i apologize but i find this whole thing extremely beautiful and confusing and frightening and hurtful all at once. everything i do concerning you is wrong. i don't want to let go of you. i am afraid to let go of you. i am afraid, full stop. a couple of months away HAS to help, because while I love your company i don't like feeling this way - that if i lose you i will be completely alone. i don't want to be completely alone. but maybe if i am completely alone i will see that i'm not, if you know what i'm saying. that is the hard road, but for your sanity i think it's the only choice i have.

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