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Date Posted: 17:10:13 05/29/07 Tue
Author: Marianna Muzzi NOITE
Subject: peer editing from MARIANNA to MARCELO

How to DO (Bw) a Monograph




(V) Monograph is AS (Ww) description, TROUGH A TEXT WITH FORMAT DEFINITY-DAILY PAY (R), of the results obtained in one DEEPENED STUDY (Bw) of a subject IN SOME AREA, SCIENTIFIC OR NOT (X). The OBJECTIVES (Bw) of ONE (Bw) monograph are to explain a DETERMINED (Ww) subject and to propose the forms of organizing and analyzing IT (what do you mean by it?? The article?? The subject??). This STUDY (Ww) NORMALLY IS (Wo) organized in one of these forms:
- A bibliographical revision of a determined subject;
- A bibliographical revision complemented by a case study of the applicability of a technique or studied approach:
- A bibliographical revision associated to the investigation of the forms of solution of one determined problem. (You shouldn’t write with this format!! Try to rewrite it in a paragraph!! Keep in mind you are writing an academic essay!!))
(Is this your introduction?? What is the thesis statement?? What are the steps??)
IT IS NOT NECESSARY THAT A MONOGRAPH PRESENTED (Wvf) UNPUBLISHED RESULTS (R) (as WAITED (Ww) in a DOCTORATE’S THEORY (We), OR IN LESS DEGREE, IN A DISSERTATION OF MASTER’S DEGREE (R)). THE RESULTS ARE MORE ASSOCIATED TO THE ORGANIZATION AND COMPARATIVE ANALYSES OF THE IDEAS AROUND A DETERMINED SUBJECT (??). In this way, a bibliographical REVISION (Ww) of the MORE (Ww) important works in a DETERMINED AREA (Be) is ESSENTIAL PART OF THE CONTENTS THAT COMPOSE IT (R). (Your paragraph is too confusing!! I don’t see a link between the results and the references. What is the topic sentence of this paragraph and what idea did you develop?? You should only develop one idea in each paragraph!! Keep that in mind!!)
A monograph (Bw – try finding a synonym!!) must be written in a clear and objective language. A scientific text must be: objective, impartial, CLEARLY (Sp), COHERENTLY (Sp) and IMPERSONAL (Ww). The verbs must TO BE USED IN THE THIRD PERSON OF SINGULAR, MUST BE AVOIDED TO USE THE THIRD PERSON OF PLURAL AND NEVER FIRST PERSON (R). The text must have a logical sequence, PRESENTING (Wvf) with precision the ideas, INQUIRES (inquires who?? The text??), DATA AND THE RESULTS OF THE STUDIES WITHOUT BE EXTENDING (Wvf) BY QUESTIONS WITH (Ww) LESS IMPORTANCE (??).
The body of a monograph is normally divided in sections. These sections are the Introduction, REVISION OF STATE THE ART (??), (V) Analysis, (V) VLIDATION (Sp) and (V) CONCLUSIONS (Sp + P)
The introduction presents a general idea of the subject OF THE WORK (X). It is not only (V) description of the sections’ contents of the text. It IS (X) must summarize the SUBJECT OF THE WORK (Ww – subject, subject matter…) and ARGUE (argue what? With whom??). After the introduction the Revision of the State of the Art, presents THE MAIN IDEAS OF THE PRINCIPAL AUTHORS OF THE AREA (R – sounds like a translations to English, it doesn’t sound nature). The ideas are PRESENTS (Wvf) only, they will not be discussed or criticized, WHICH (WW) WILL BE DONE IN NEXT SECTIONS, IN INTRODUCTION THE IDEAS OF THE AUTHOR HIMSELF ARE NOT INCLUDED (?? - Very confusing! Are you talking about the introduction or the following section??). AN IMPORTANT POINT OF REVISION IS THE WAY, WHICH IT IS ORGANIZED. THIS WAY IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST CONTRIBUTIONS OF THE MONOGRAPH (R) (what are you talking about?? What is the contribution?? How is it organized?? You did not mention it!!). It is desirable THAT THE PREVIOUS WORKS DESCRIBED ACCORDING TO THE SAME VISION PROPOSED BY THE AUTHOR OF THE MONOGRAPH INSTEAD OF THE AUTHOR OF THE REVISED WORKS (R - ??). The organization of (V) revision allows comparisons and analyses, leading to a better understanding of the subject. In this section all the revision WORKS (Wvf) must be associated TO (Ww) the FOUNTAIN OF REFERENCE (We – translation to English! This expression does not exist.) in the text and THIS REFERENCE (which one??) must be included in the (V) bibliographical references IN THE END OF THE MONOGRAPH (X).
FOLLOWING (Ww) the revision of the state of art, the analyses section starts. Here are presented the approaches and techniques discussed before. The criteria of analyses are important to POINT (Ww) the main advantages or disadvantages of the analyses techniques, its potential use, etc… (P) IN THIS SECTION IS IMPORTANT THE ORGANIZATION OF THE IN FORMATIONS IN CHARTS OR FIGURES WHICH WERE QUOTED AND ANALYZED ALONG THE TEXT (??). Before the conclusion, the Validation section describes the EXCELLENT (always?? What if something goes wrong or different from what was planned??) results of the use of technique or approach. This section must be FULL IN (We) objective data to demonstrate what AFFIRMS IN TEXT (Wo).
Basically, the CONCLUSIONS (Q) DESCRIBE (Q) three basic topics: the CONCLUSIONS (Q), the SUMMARY THING OF CONTRIBUTION’S TEXT (?? What do you mean??) and future studies. Conclusions are not a summary of the work, but the conclusions (avoid repetition. Try to find synonyms.) obtained in the study, PRESENTED IN THE OBJECTIVE (R) and CONCISE FORM (??). The contribution can describe the criteria of analyses and organization used if these criteria helped the understanding and organization of the content (??). The future studies describing studies that were considered interesting after that one initial inquiry, but what, for limitation of time or interest, they were not carried out in this same work.

Comments
I think you did not write a process analysis essay. In this kind of essay you are supposed to write STEPS and PROCEDURES TO BE FOLLOWED. I didn’t see any of these in your essay. I think you rather wrote a classification one.
Be more specific on your introduction! State the thesis statement more clearly!! What is your thesis statement? The steps to write an essay?
Write smaller paragraphs and include only one main idea!
Where is your conclusion?
Try to write synonyms as much as you can! Avoid repetition!
Include quotations!

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