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Date Posted: 07:58:22 04/17/07 Tue
Author: Matheus Corrêa
Subject: Peer Editing to Mariana - Group 8

Paragraph:
"The world is becoming more globalized as each year goes by. People are studying and learning more, especially other languages. Since studying other languages has become necessary, a lot of courses and methods are being used. With this(We) language skills are tested (Bw): oral, writing, reading and listening skills. However(P) to achieve high levels of L2 proficiency it is also necessary to learn the country's culture."

Comment:
I think that you need better transitions here. You assert that the world is becoming more globalized and that people are studying and learning more, but you don't even mention how the first causes the latter. Then, in the third sentence, you say that studying languages has become necessary, but once again you have done nothing to support that claim.

Paragraph:
"The history of a country is composed of many related aspects. It is necessary for them to be together (V) to understand the country's organization, people's manners and their influence on language."

Comment:
Here I think that you should be a little less vague. The way you wrote it, your paragraph says that there are some aspects (which you never mention) that need to be taken into consideration for us to understand the country's organization, people's manners and their influence on language. However, I think what you meant to say is that we should consider certain aspects, such as the country's organization and manners, in order to fully understand its culture and how it relates to language.

Paragraph:
"Language is dynamic and for this reason, it is necessary when we are teaching/ learning, do not (Wvf) separate language as if it were an isolated thing. For example, you can(Wvf) travel to a different country and use grammatically correct sentences and yet not be understood, or well accepted. This will(Wvf) probably happen because of the dynamism of language, words and sentences used in the past sometimes are not acceptable any more."

Comment:
In the first line, it is better not to use the imperative. Also, your example isn't really an example of what you had just stated. You can still use that information to further your point, but it is not an example.

Another issue here has to do with your last sentence. Is that really the crux of the point? I would have guessed that misunderstandings could occur because the tourist might act according to the norms of his own culture. That doesn't have anything to do with the way cultures evolve over time.

Paragraph:
Buttjes summarizes the reasons behind the close relationship between language and culture: (P)a."language acquisition does not follow a universal sequence, but differs across cultures; b. the process of becoming a competent member of society is realized through exchanges of language in particular social situations; c. every society orchestrates the ways in which children participate in particular situations, and this, in turn, affects the form, function and content of children's utterances; d. caregivers' primary concern is not with grammatical input, but with the transmission of sociocultural knowledge; e. the native learner, in addition to language, acquires also the paralinguistic patterns and the kinesics of his or her culture (Buttjes, 1990). "

Comment:
You didn't use this quote to further your point. Quotations shouldn't stand by themselves. You could have used parts of what Buttjes stated to support your previous paragraphs instead.

Paragraph:
Knowing about this close relationship between language and culture, we can see the necessity of teaching these two together for a better language acquisition. Concluding, we can use Renata Setmajer-Chylinski's words: " [we] should be deployed to teach culture through language (or language through culture) (Chylinski, 2005)."

This works as a conclusion. Just one last remark, though: since you have already stated the author's name, you don't need to repeat it after the quotation.

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