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Date Posted: 20:46:28 04/12/07 Thu
Author: Marianna Muzzi
Subject: Task 1
In reply to: Arlete Silva da Costa 's message, "Re: Task One Group Four" on 20:04:25 04/10/07 Tue

The interference of THE (X) age in A (X) second language acquisition

Although some RESEARCH INDICATES (Q) that adults are capable of acquiring a HIGH DEGREE OF (X) (I suggest – good, instead) pronunciation IN (Ww) a second language, we know that age interferes in the accurate comprehension of sounds THAT DOES NOT OCCUR IN THE STUDENT’S MOTHER TONGUE BECAUSE NOT ONLY THEIR BRAIN GET OLDER BUT THEIR NEUROMUSCULAR TOO, SO ADULTS ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE PERFECT OR TARGET-LIKE PRONUNCIATION IN A SECOND LANGUAGE . (R) (I would suggest the following: … sounds. Not only does the brain get older (what do you mean??), but adults are unable to achieve perfect pronunciation in a second language. The same does not occur with native speakers. (What do you mean?? I think it’s necessary since you are talking about second language acquisition!))
BESIDES (V), (X) children are less likely to HOLD (Ww) negative attitudes towards other speech communities or to be aware of other factors which may PRODUCE (Bw) barriers to INTERACTION AND (X) leaning. (I don’t see a connection between the 2 paragraphs. I don’t think you should use the word beside.) The purpose of this PAPER (Ww) is to review two LINE (Q) of research that SUPPORTS (Q) these CLAIMS (Bw): ONE NEUROLOGICAL AND ONE AFFECTIVE CONSIDERATION (R). (Are these 2 paragraphs the introduction?? If yes I suggest reducing it. I consider it too long and sometimes redundant. What is the general statement? And the topic sentence?)
One line of research was originally formulated by Penfield and Roberts (1959) and Lenneberg (1967). This RESEARCH (Bw – don’t repeat the same word over and over) POSITS (Ww) a period (OCCURRING AROUND PUBERTY) (R) (I suggest: period, around the age of puberty,) after which brain lateralization ,(R) or THE (R) ASSIGNING (Ww) of certain functions TO THE DIFFERENT HEMISPHERES OF THE BRAIN, (X) (I suggest writing certain brain function) IS (Q) completed. This period (V) called critical period, (V) represents the biologically determined period of life DURING WHICH (We) maximal conditions for language acquisition exist, the brain is flexible and language learning can occur (V) naturally and easily. SINCE (Ww) THIS PERIOD ENDS (R) (P) around puberty, (P) adults can no longer CALL UPON (Ww) these natural learning capacities. Scovel ( 1981) and later Krashen (1973) claimed an increasing loss of brain plasticity, which RENDERS (Ww) an individual INCAPABLE (Ww) OF ACHIEVING (Wvf) native like pronunciation IN (Ww) a second language after puberty. The result (V) is that language learning becomes AN (X) artificial, (V) laborious process.
Another line of research which has been EXPLORED (Ww) consists in THAT (Ww) DIFFERENCES (Q) IN (Ww) THE AFFECTIVE STATES (Q) OF YOUNG AND OLDER LEARNERS ACCOUNT FOR AGE DIFFERENCES IN SECOND LANGUAGE ACQUISITION (??) (R). Brown (1980 b) proposes that second language acquisition IS (Bw) RELATED (Wvf) TO (X) stages of ACCULTURATION (??). In YOUR BOOK “(X) Principles of language learning and teaching” (P + italics) he identifies four stages of acculturation: (1) initial excitement and euphoria;(2) culture shock, leading to feelings of estrangement and hostility towards the target culture;(3) culture stress, involving a gradual and vacillating recovery; and (4) assimilation or adaptation to the new culture . Browns argues that STAGE (3) (R) is the crucial phase. YOUNG CHILDREN ARE SEEN AS SOCIO-CULTURALLY RESILIENT, BECAUSE THEY ARE LESS CULTURE-BOUND THAN ADULTS. (??) They MOVE (Bw) THOUGH (Ww) the stages of acculturation more quickly AND SO (We) (V) acquire the second language more quickly. Furthermore, (P) CHILDREN ARE STRONGLY MOTIVATED TO BECOME PART OF THE FIRST LANGUAGE COMMUNITY AND REQUIRE A NATIVE-LIKE ACCENT TO ACHIEVE THIS , SO THEY WILL PROVE THE MORE SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS , PARTICULARLY WHEN PRONUNCIATION IS CONCERNED. (??) (R)
To summarize, (P) CHILDREN OFTEN HAVE MORE FAVOURABLE LEARNING CONDITIONS, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF A CRITICAL PERIOD BEFORE WHICH AND AFTER WHICH CERTAIN ABILITIES DO NOT DEVELOP, BUT ALSO BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE LESS CULTURE-BOUND THAN ADULTS. RESPECTIVELY, AFFECTIVE CONSIDERATION AND NEUROLOGICAL CONSIDERATION. (R)

Comments
Thesis statements in the paragraphs are not clear – it should be more specific and mention only one idea. Paragraphs are too long and sometimes too confusing.
I think the conclusion should mention the age differences. You mention children only.
Transition signals are sometimes inadequate. Try to find more appropriate ones.
Check punctuation, specially commas!

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