Actually, I don't subscribe to that philosophy that we are only given as much trouble as we can handle. If that were true, >>> -- Cindy's Cottage

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Date Posted: 14:31:25 06/30/09 Tue
Author: E
Subject: Actually, I don't subscribe to that philosophy that we are only given as much trouble as we can handle. If that were true, >>>
In reply to: Carla 's message, "Chapter Five: "Little Miss Lolita�" on 20:16:06 06/29/09 Mon

I doubt that suicides would be quite so rampant, nor some mental illnesses. Some marriages become stronger when faced with tragedy, and others collapse under the weight of the pain. It's awfully hard to look into your loved one's eyes and not be reminded of your mutual loss. I certainly don't know Colleen very well, but I think I understand grief and depression, and that's why I feel her reaction was perfectly valid. None of us knows in advance how we will react to a given situation until we face it, and that's why I try never to judge someone else's response to grief.

As for the influence of fathers, I agree with Nalana. Both of these guys were probably destined to choose the paths they took, but then who knows for sure. If Casey and Jamie's mothers had been different women - if they had been the doting and nurturing types - then the fathers' influence might not have been in the forefront.

As for Jamie bedding Pamela, I believe he knew exactly who she was all along and felt he would be violating some sacred code if he was intimate with this young woman whom he had once known as a little girl. He simply could not bring himself to have meaningless sex with someone who had meant so much to him.

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I don't subscribe to it either, Elaine, FWIW. I do think the strong often judge those whose strength comes in different forms on how they react to/in a crisis. I definitely felt Yevgena judged Colleen's response wanting -- but that could be because she saw how much pain Jamie is in with nobody to truly comfort him. (NT) -- Carla, 15:08:19 06/30/09 Tue
- When you're so solidly loyal to someone, as Yevgena is to Jamie, I'm sure it's awfully hard to be entirely objective. I believe you're right about the 'strong' judging others harshly. It's wrong, though. We are not all born with the same temperament, or drive or set of values; it's almost impossible to know precisely what someone else is feeling . All we have is our own perspective, and most of the time that's pretty limiting. (NT) -- E, 15:21:32 06/30/09 Tue
  - For all intents and purposes, Yevgena has served as a mother figure for Jamie- hence her viewpoint tends to be rather biased in his favour. (NT) -- celtgirl, 15:37:14 06/30/09 Tue
  - One thing I learned a long time ago that has stuck with me is that you cannot measure someone else's pain. (NT) -- Tracy, 16:01:28 06/30/09 Tue
    - So very true. (NT) -- E, 19:03:10 06/30/09 Tue

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