Girl, letting go of Lawrence was the hardest thing I've ever done as a writer. I really feel his absence as I work on book three. -- Cindy's Cottage

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Date Posted: 12:28:29 10/26/07 Fri
Author: celtgirl
Subject: Girl, letting go of Lawrence was the hardest thing I've ever done as a writer. I really feel his absence as I work on book three.
In reply to: Tracy 's message, "It is emotionally hard to get myself back to where I was when I read the chapter. My heart broke for Lawrence because of what he had done, had felt and gone through as he died. It was an ugly cry for me and then my heart broke all over for Casey and Pamela. I still feel heartache thinking about Lawrence now and find myself wishing that the words in the book would read a different ending for him. I do think Lawrence and his 'gifts' were symbolic of something deeper and think he was introduced into the lives of Casey and Pamela for a reason. I think the meaning of Lawrence is something that will unfold in their hearts in time to come." on 10:01:32 10/26/07 Fri

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Replies:

The choice for Lawrence to die was your own, Cindy. What, gee I want to say "possessed" you, but maybe what made you feel that his death was needed, or appropriate for the story you were writing? (NT) -- Denise, 13:00:34 10/26/07 Fri
- Because Lawrence's past was all too real for several boys that got caught up in the Kincora scandal. Because mostly in these situations things don't end happily- I hadn't intended to kill him off actually, I really loved that boy, but also if the story goes a certain way and I ignore it, because I don't like the direction then I am leading the story in a false direction and it would show in the writing. Also this is Northern Ireland, tragedy infests people's lives. I was just being true to how the story presented itself, it wasn't something I wanted to do per se, if that makes sense. :) (NT) -- celtgirl, 13:24:37 10/26/07 Fri
  - I've always liked the Cinderella happy endings but I know that would not be true to the time period and the history of abuse and violence in which poor Lawrence was already embroiled. Not having a writer's bone in my body, I wondered how these revelations materialize. Do the fingers on the keyboard almost have a mind of their own or do you fully and consciously direct the words? Maybe that sounds silly, but sometimes authors say the story just reveals itself (I think you have said this too) and so I wonder. (NT) -- Denise, 15:43:30 10/26/07 Fri
    - No, writing is a very funny process and though some days it feels like I grind every word out, other days it feels like I am merely a conduit through which the words travel. So I never feel that I consciously make choices about the direction of the story. Other than following the history to the best of my ability and research. Some plot lines bubble away in the back of my mind for months and months, others spring out entire and demand to be written down immediately. Like the Nuala storyline, she was just there and I wrote most of Part Five in a few days. Other pieces stew forever and some never make it off the computer screen. Some of those end up being my favourite bits. :) (NT) -- celtgirl, 19:23:00 10/26/07 Fri
      - Thank you for sharing this, Cindy. I find it all utterly fascinating and foreign to me. (NT) -- Denise, 21:57:12 10/26/07 Fri

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