HEART OF EVIL - PART FIVE -- The E!Shelter Interactive Story Board

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Date Posted: 07:53:13 09/14/99 Tue
Author: E! SISTERS
Subject: HEART OF EVIL - PART FIVE

Author: Brenda

Roy felt himself spiraling away, out of control -- his muddled mind kept contemplating the word he had heard Brackett say -- knew with sickening certainty who he must've been talking about. He felt strange -- knew that the medication had done its job and knocked him out, yet there, somewhere in his subconscious his mind fought not to believe what he had heard.

'Johnny can't be dead!' 'Johnny's not dead, we're both working an overtime shift tomorrow - Dwyer's on vacation and Wilson's daughter is getting married.' 'Johnny hasn't had a chance to take his vacation yet...' His thoughts held no cohesiveness as they tumbled around inside him for what seemed like an eternity.

'He can't be dead!!!!' His mind screamed again. The mere thought suffocated him, made his blood run cold. Slowly, he felt his frantic mind overpowering everything else, felt his body slip away inch by inch in defeat.

Then suddenly, when he felt he would be forced to give in to the despair, he thought he heard an impossible voice, felt a comforting presence...

'Roy! It's me, Johnny!"

The voice sounded so close, as though Johnny were right next to him. He struggled to respond but found he was unable -- as if frozen. He concentrated every ounce of strength he had on listening for the sound of his partner's voice -- and heard a barrage of voices, but was unable to determine whose they were, couldn't find that one friendly voice he'd imagined he'd heard.

Finally, after listening several more seconds and focusing his attention so intently on the voices that it hurt, he finally heard his friend's voice again -- couldn't make out the words, but heard Johnny shouting.

Then as suddenly as it came, Johnny's comforting presence, his voice was gone, and Roy was seized with a panic he had never experienced before. Somehow he knew if he didn't do something, he'd never see Johnny again.

He had no time to digest what was happening to his own body -- just reached out in an effort to follow Johnny down whatever path he'd taken -- he had to find him -- locate his voice. Everything would be okay if he could just find that voice...

The realization of what was happening to him didn't really make itself fully clear until he felt himself floating
above the operating suite, saw his own prone form on the table, the doctors working feverishly over him.

The reality of the literal life or death situation he was faced with hit him sharply, but after a few brief moments -- he knew he would survive. He wasn't ready to die, he wasn't ready to leave his family behind -- couldn't....but somehow he knew he had to find Johnny, no matter where he went. After all, he was trained for rescue -- this wouldn't be much different would it? In and out quickly, just like at a fire -- he could rescue Johnny and get them both out -- he just had to. The stakes were too high for him to lose.

Author: DiAnne ;)

The vastness of the black hole ...stretched into never-ending eternity. The pull from the centermost regions of the empty blackness was strong, but John stopped just inside the door, defying it's force. Voices all around him called out his name. They were everywhere, the voices. Deep foreboding voices loomed in front of him, beckoning him to continue his journey forward. Voices from behind summoned him back. Some of the voices he recognized. Others he knew he had heard before, but he couldn't match faces to the voices.

He had never felt so alone before, so confused. Suddenly, among all the confusion, he heard a comforting voice. One he had heard so many times in the past few years, there could be no mistaking it. It was a voice he trusted, one he relied in the darkest of times.

It was Roy...

Author: Mary Ellen

"Johnny!" He heard Roy call out. "Johnny, wait!"

Johnny turned to see the figure of Roy DeSoto standing next to him. His dark blue eyes looking straight into Johnny's.

"John, please don't! Don't go! Don't leave us! What'll I...a-and Cap and the guys do without you!" Roy implored him.

"They'll manage!" Johnny responded. "Chet will just have to find himself another pigeon that's all."

"Yes, and you know who'll that will be, don't you? It'll be me!" Roy said.

"It's no good, Roy! I've made up my mind! I'm not going back if it means having you sell pencils the rest of your life!" Johnny said.

"Hey, listen! I can do a pretty mean job of selling pencils if I had to! I can do a mean job of selling anything to support my family! What makes you think I'd be reduced to pencil-selling in the first place. There are plenty of things I can do to serve LA County, even blind!"

"What! and be forced to take a desk job for the rest of your career?" Johnny retorted.

"Hey! Just where was I when we first met?" Roy snapped back.

Johnny opened his mouth to respond to Roy latest argument but then again he had to admit, Roy had him there!

"Johnny, it goes beyond just the job!" Roy continued. "John, man! It the whole rest of your life you're throwing away. Think of your family back home. Think of your wife, your kids."

"Wife and kids! Roy, I don't have any wife or kids!" Johnny said surprised that after all the years of knowing him, Roy should have forgotten one of the basic tenets of his life.

"That's right and if you stay here, you never will! You die now and the family you're destined to have will never be. Simply to save my sight, you'll be condeming your own children to non-existance. Look, if it were me in your situation and I had the chance of getting you back your sight but giving up my kids in order to do it, I tell you, pal, I'd buy you the white cane with my own money."

"John, what you're doing is beautiful and I love you for it, pal." Roy went on taking hold of Johnny's shoulders. "But John, it's too much! You're ready to stand here and give up everything about living just so I can get back only one minor aspect of it! And an expendible aspect at that! Johnny, I'll live whether I can see or not!"

"Roy, it's a lot more that just living or not living! If I don't leave and let Laurel heal you, if I let you go blind what kind of a life would you have? I mean, forget about never seeing a blue sky or a green field ever again. Man, you'd never see Joanne again! You'd never see the faces of Chris or Jennifer ever again! You'd miss watching them grow, man, seeing the kind of adults they'd develop into. You'd miss living all those years with Joanne, seeing her face change over time and yet see her as nothing but beautiful no matter how long the two of you live.

If you go blind, all you'll have of your family's faces would be memories. Memories that would fade and maybe even be lost over time. Somewhere inside you, Roy, something would miss that and long for it back again. There's a part of you that'd grow bitter and resentful that you lost it. At least I won't be missing my wife and kids because I never had them to begin with. Add to that, the fact that the whole situation wasn't
our doing in the first place. Somebody, somewhere had an ax to grind with the rest of world and you and I just happened to get caught in the crossfire. Can you honestly say I'm wrong?"

Roy was silent. No, in all honesty, Johnny wasn't wrong. He'd hit the nail right on the head! It seems John Gage knew Roy DeSoto as well as Roy DeSoto knew John Gage. Johnny has just given voice to what Roy had feared most next to being separated from his family entirely through death, being separated from their faces, their smiles, the sparkle of love he saw everyday in their eyes! He couldn't lose all that and yet he couldn't let Johnny throw away his entire future over it! Somehow, Roy would have to find a way to live without it!

"Johnny, if you're that willing to give up your life so I can see, than I will give up my sight so you can live. If you'll come back with me now, I promise, even if Brackett or Early or anyone offered me an outright cure for my blindness, I'd say no! I can live in darkness. I've got my family to help me through it. You shouldn't have to. You'd be enduring by yourself." Roy said.

Before Johnny could answer, the darkness was suddenly banished by a flood of light and a gentle loving voice calling to the two paramedics.

"I AM WELL PLEASED, MY SONS! WELL PLEASED, INDEED!"

Author: Stephanie/ TT2

With the eternal light behind her, Laural looked at Roy and Johnny with a smile. "You have each decided to put the other infront of themselves. That is an unselfish act. One that will be rewarded in the end." Laural said as she looked from Roy to Johnny.

"Now, each of you must return to his place in time. You are each needed by loved ones that care for you and you have futures of happyness to look forward to, so go now and return. All will be okay in the end". Laural said as she pointed Johnny in one direction and Roy in the other.

As they made their way in seperate direction, Johnny called to Roy, "Hey Roy, see you on the other side." he smiled as started walking to the light.

"Yeah Junior, Catch you on the other side." Roy smiled as he started towards the light.

Both feeling like they were being pulled back to reality. They were both at peace with themselves, knowing that one or the other of them would trade their life for the other.

There was a flurry of activity in both rooms where Johnny and Roy were at.

Author: Sally

Cahan and Brackett exchanged relieved looks, the latter letting out a relived breath as the monitors showed a steady improvement in Roy DeSoto's vital signs.

"No more scares like that, mister!" Brackett admonished the unconcious firefighter. "We're not losing you too..."

"A shame about the other one..." Cahan spoke softly, as he continued to treat the corneal lacerations of this very special patient, who's care he had been entursted with. "What was his name...? Gage...?"

"Yeah..John Gage. He was a damn good paramedic... " Brackett responded, unable to voice the rest of his thoughts. ..." and a friend I'll miss very much"...
**************

Across the stretch of city miles that seperated the two Hospitals, the surgery on John Gage was also underway.

In an effort to reduce the amount of time this very unstable patient would need to under the effects of the anesthesia, a second surgeon was brought into the debride the legs burns and prepare the area for any possible skin grafts that might be needed, while Dr. Colson and his Resident assistant, performed the exploratory laporotamy.

Opening Johnny's abdomen would allow them to expose the metal projectile lodged into the upper right quadrant and evaluate the best approach for its removal -- as well as allowing them an ample visual field to see what kind of internal damage had been done, if any.

"How's he doing?" Colson questioned the anesthesiologist.

"Blood Pressure low, but holding. Heart rate 120 -- no arrythmias."

With a sharp nod, Colson continued his work.

"Looks like there a perforation of the upper lobe of the right kidney..." the Surgical Resident advised.

"I see it..." Colson responded.
**********

It was a silent vigil that was being held in the private waiting area back at Rampart General.

For a time, Hank had struggled with the desire to find a way to somehow relieve the emotional hurt of the small group of people he cared about so deeply...but then, in the end, realized it was an impossible task.

His own heart aching with the knowledge that Johnny had died, he sat beside JoAnne, simply holding her hand in his own -- drawing as much support and comfort from the human warmth of the touch as he was giving.

His own tears and energy spent, it seemed, Chet simply stood by one window and stared, vancantly.

Marco had found his own corner of the world in which to retreat -- from time to time, praying softly...his
heartfelt pleas made in a mixture of English and Spanish.

Hank looked over to the doorway and saw Stoker pace by once again. The most stoic and reserved member of the team of firefighters, this seemed to be the only way he could release his own pent up anger, frustrations and fears...emotions he could not..or would not...otherwise verbalize.

JoAnne glanced over to the wall clock -- then drew in a sharp breath.

Almost four hours! Dr. Cahan has said he thought the surgery would take no more than two hours -- and now it had been almost twice that amount of time!

Fear tore at the worried woman's heart.

"It's taking too long," she thought. "Something's wrong...! Something must be wrong!"

Leaping to her feet, her lightening fast actions startling Hank and the others, she cried out, "I'm going to speak with the Nurses again!"

Just as she neared the doorway...

Brackett and Cahan stepped into the room.

Stopping short....JoAnne looked from one weary face to the other...trying to read in their expressions the outcome of the surgery.

Was Roy alive?

Had they been able to save his vision?

Author: Brenda

Before Brackett and Cahan even realized it, they were surrounded by not only Roy's wife but the other four
members of Station 51 - each wearing the same look of sadness and worry. Brackett focused on the worried Joanne, steering her to a seat on the couch, the small concerned crowd quickly flanking both surgeons.

During the longest four hours of her life, Joanne would have given anything to have a chance to talk to the doctors. Now that they were here, she found herself silent, unable to ask the question, unable to read their faces for any hint as to Roy's condition.

Finally, Brackett broke the silence. This time he did take a moment to include the others in his gaze, knowing that more then anything right now, they needed a hint of good news to sustain them. "Joanne, Roy's out of surgery and on his way to a room."

There was a collective sigh of relief from the group. At least Roy had survived.

"The surgery was complicated - he had more fragments embedded then we first realized..."

Brackett's pause brought new fear to Joanne's heart. This time she did speak, albeit hesitantly. "Doctor..."

Brackett cleared his throat then continued. "We removed all the fragments and repaired the damage as best we could, but Roy had some trouble during surgery..." He grabbed Joanne's hand and squeezed it as she inhaled a sharp, painful breath. He could sense the nervous twitching of some of the men gathered around him.

"We're not sure what caused it, but he had a significant drop in his vital signs and it was touch and go for a while there. That's what took so long....I wanted to stay with him in recovery so we could keep a close eye on Roy and be sure he'd remain stable."

Joanne dared to hope...but still wasn't sure where her husband stood. "He's okay now?"

"We had x-ray in again to be sure the hematoma wasn't causing additional problems. He's been stable for the last hour, so that's a very good sign."

The hope in her heart expanded. He had survived surgery and seemed to be doing better. It was all she could possibly hope for. Still, one question remained unanswered. "Dr. Brackett...will he see again?"

Brackett could also feel the intense gaze of Hank Stanley and his crew while they waited for the answer. The hospital stood to lose one of their best paramedics, but the Fire Department could also potentially lose a valuable member of their team.

Brackett kicked himself, but gave his colleague the floor, wanting HIM to provide the information.

"Mrs. DeSoto, we don't know yet. Your husband sustained a great deal of trauma to the eyes, particularly the right eye, which was most directly hit by the explosion. While we have removed all the fragments and repaired as much damage as possible, his body is going to need a considerable amount of time for recovery - we need to allow the tissue time to heal. We won't know for at least a couple weeks, if not longer, whether he will regain his sight." He saw the woman bow her head. "I'm sorry, I wish I could give you more definite information, but that's the best we can do right now."

"I understand," Joanne said in a quiet voice. "Dr. Brackett, when can I see him?"

Dr. Brackett heard the pleading in her voice and hated to deny her any longer. "Joanne, it's going to be just a little while longer - we have some more tests we want to do...someone will come and get you as soon as he can have visitors."

Brackett stood to leave, and Joanne stood up as well. She managed a smile. "Thank you both. You gave my husband back to me - no matter what else happens - he's here with me..." She gave both physicians a quick hug before they walked away, then she turned back to face the men who had become such good friends over the years. Mike collapsed against the wall in relief, Chet and Marco fell back against their chairs, some
measure of relief on their faces, a little bit of hope to help fight against the pain of loss.

Hank stood uncertainly watching Joanne, not sure whether to give her some time alone or stay close by in case she needed someone. The decision was made for him however, when he watched Joanne put her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking. She could no longer hold back her pent up emotions. All the waiting, the worry, the fear, the relief, the uncertain road ahead - all of it converged as a tidal wave of emotions which poured forth as tears. Hank moved forward and enfolded her in a comforting hug, allowing her the time she
needed to get some of the worry and fear and despair out of her system.

Chet and Marco also covered their faces, their own emotions once again forced to the surface...

Author: Tammy

Hank stood holding Joanne and trying to comfort her. All the while his mind was racing with thoughts of how this day would change all their lives.

He watched a young women walk through the hospital doors. She was pretty but that wasn't what caught Hank�s eyes...it was the cold stare that she gave them...looking at all of them as if she knew them.

It was a stare that sent a shiver down the brave Captain�s spine.

Author: DiAnne ;)

Hating hospitals was an understatement. Josie loathed them. The coldness. The smells. The rooms. The whiteness. The death. There was nothing she wanted to do more than run screaming from this insidious place of death. Instead, she quietly pushed open the door to enter one of those very rooms that she hated so much, sterile, white and bordering on
death.

'Good, he's alone,' she thought silently, then slipped quietly through the door, letting it close behind her.

There were no flowers in this room. Only machinery. So much machinery. The soft whirring of the machines, the incessant beeping of each contraption, and the figure laid out in the neatly made bed, motionless, oblivious to all the trappings.

She pulled up a chair to the edge of the bed as she watched for movement. Nothing.

"You don't even know me, do you?" she asked quietly, not expecting an answer. "You don't even know
I'm here." Her head perked up when she thought she heard someone outside the door. Realizing that whoever it was, was just passing by, she continued her one-sided conversation.

"I wish you would just die already. It would make it easier on everyone. Me. You. Everyone. You'll never know how hard this is all is. Even if you woke up right now, you'd never know. Only I know. Only I know how hard this is. And noone cares about me. Not even you."

Josie sighed deeply. Maybe she should just go. She was doing no good here. She didn't want to be there anyway. Instead, something kept her in that room. Something she could never explain.

Her voice turned hard and cold and her eyes folded into slits, "Fools! It's time someone else pays. It's time
someone else finds out how hard it is to lose someone when it's least expected."

Her mood turned melancholy as quickly as it had turned to hatred.

"Mother and Daddy never even knew what hit them. And Bobby. Why Bobby? He was just�I'll never understand it. Never accept it."

Tears threatened to roll, making her angry. She had sworn she was done with tears, only concerned with staying intent on making those responsible pay for her loss. Scooting the chair out from under her, she walked over to the window, gazing into another world�

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