Even longer post!!! -- The Columbo Forum

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Date Posted: 13:41:10 03/17/01 Sat
Author: Ted
Subject:

Even longer post!!!

Q. How many of Columbo's nephews' jobs and hobbies can you name?
A. His nephew Andy Parma, son of his late sister Mary, is an LAPD cop.
("No Time To Die")

Elsewhere, Columbo has said that his nephew:

* is studying to be an accountant ("Bye-Bye Sky High...")

* at age 15 has all the stuff for making 8mm movies, and has a picture of
Francis Ford Coppola on the wall ("Make Me a Perfect Murder")

* does needlepoint to relax when he's going into a weightlifting contest. One
time he won a prize for both. ("The Conspirators")

* is at UCLA as a resident dermatologist ("Lovely But Lethal")

* takes after Columbo in his love of chemistry, so Clumbo gave him a chemistry set ("Uneasy Lies The Crown")

* is a Civil War buff, knows all the books on it, belongs to one of those groups
that re-creates the battles ("Grand Deceptions")

Q. What about his nieces?
A. His nephew Andy married a high fashion model, Melissa. ("No Time To Die")

Another nephew married a girl with a Hungarian accent ("The Most Crucial Game")

Elsewhere, Columbo has said that his niece:

* Has a green thumb ("Caution: Murder Can Be Hazardous To You Health")

* Marilyn, after her divorce, got re-married -- to a cop, and they have
6 kids ("Dead Weight").

*** NOTE, when Suzanne Pleshette then asks him if he REALLY has a niece, his answer comes close to admitting that maybe he sometimes invents relatives to make a point. But, we'll never know...

Q. How many of Columbo's cousins can you describe?
A. Columbo has said that his cousin:

* never smoked or drank, worked out...but "went like that." Heart attack?
"No, he got hit by a bakery truck!" ("Uneasy Lies the Crown")

* lives in Albany, New York, wears "big, thick glasses, thinks the American chess champ is the greatest thing in the world" ("The Most Dangerous Match")

* Vito, who apparently feels close to Mrs Columbo, since she leaves Columbo in Mexico and takes a bus to LA so she can attend Vito's 11th Anniversary celebration ("A Matter Of Honor")

* Dominic, who lives in Los Angeles, makes big money in the stock market, constantly uses a car phone ("Butterfly In Shades of Grey")

(According to the William Harrington novels, Dominic was the first family member to move to California, then he persuaded Columbo to move out there from New York.)

Q. Any uncles?
A. One uncle is a medical doctor, who complains that after he cures people he never hears from them again, "not even a post card" ("Murder, a Self Portrait").

Another uncle used to drive a school bus, then got rich in Real Estate, now owns a ranch, drives a couple of Cadillacs and sends out embossed Christmas cards ("Double Exposure")

One uncle belongs to the Shriners and plays bagpipes in a band
("Requiem For A Falling Star")

"Uncle Gene and the twins" have been dinner guests ("Exercise In Fatality")

Q. What about Mrs. Columbo's parents?

Her father was a big fan of Westerns ("Suitable For Framing"), an interest he shared with Columbo ("Double Exposure")

Her mother is a feisty woman, age 82 as of 1990 ("RIP, Mrs Columbo"). At age 84, she broke her hip in a skateboarding accident ("No Time To Die").

One time, she almost hit Columbo with a frying pan, for leaving a book upside-down ("Dagger Of The Mind").

After the skateboard incident, Mrs. Columbo went to take care of her mother in Chicago, which suggests her father might not have been around by then.

Previously, Mrs. Columbo's mother had lived in Fresno, California ("Mind Over Mayhem")

Q. How many brothers does Mrs. Columbo have? Can you name her brother(s)' jobs?
A. George is the only one named, so our only other clue is Columbo's various references to his brother-in-law's work. Either she comes from a big family like her husband, or her brother George has held a lot of jobs.

George's height, incidentally, is some sort of family joke (he's short?)
("Requiem For A Falling Star")

Columbo has said at various times that his brother-in-law is:

* owner of an auto repair shop in The Valley; he knows all about making keys
("Troubled Waters"). NOTE, this seems to be a family business: Mrs. Columbo also has a cousin in The Valley who owns an auto body shop ("Publish Or Perish").

* a waiter, presumably in a fancy restaurant because he wears a tuxedo
("Case of Immunity"). This brother-in-law might be George, because Columbo is not surprised to find George hanging around the house during the daytime ("Requiem For A Falling Star").

* an attorney ("Nothing big, y'understand, but..uh, he's pretty good.
The whole family, we're pretty proud of him.") ("Blueprint For Murder")

* in the National Guard ("He thinks he looks good in his uniform")
("Dagger of the Mind").

Q. Does Mrs. Columbo have any sisters?
A. At least three: Rita ("RIP, Mrs.Columbo"), Rachel, and Ruth.

Q. What has Columbo said about any sister-in-law?
A. That his sister-in-law always is, or at least sounds, "a little smashed"
("Exercise In Fatality")

Another time, his sister-in-law was looking to buy a place by the ocean
("Death Lends A Hand")

Q. Does Mrs. Columbo have any nephews or nieces?
A. Yes. She has a niece Annette who is age 14 as of 1989 ("Columbo Goes To College").

Her sister Ruth has children who come over to visit Mrs Columbo and play rock music.

One of her sisters has a daughter named Cynthia ("Dead Weight").

She has a nephew who is a big fan of the victim in "Murder of a Rock Star."
Columbo buys him a portable stereo "boom box" from a discount joint.

Q. Does Mrs Columbo have cousins?
A. Yes. One cousin runs an auto body shop in The Valley ("Publish Or Perish")

Another of her cousins had a gambling problem, lost his business (a bar), his wife left him and now he does valet parking at "Club 5th Avenue" ("Uneasy LiesThe Crown")

Q. Do Columbo and his wife have any children? More than one?
A. Good question -- depends on the episode.

In "RIP, Mrs Columbo" he claims he and his wife never had any children. But then he was talking to a homicidal maniac who was trying to kill his wife, so Columbo may have lied to protect his family.

In "The Most Crucial Game" (1972) he says the wife complains that the ice cream man comes before dinnertime and spoils "the child's" appetite.

In "Any Old Port In A Storm" (1973) he says he went on a picnic with the wife
and "my kid". Might have had another child too young for the picnic, because in the same episode he needs a babysitter and buys 2 quarts of milk, and says "You know how it is when you have kids."

And he says it's too hard for him to write a book at home with "the family and all,"
which sounds like multiple kids running around ("Publish Or Perish," 1974)

In "Mind Over Mayhem" (1974) he says the wife and "kids" are visiting his
mother-in-law.

The likely explanation is that Columbo's family grew during the long run of the series. He was married in 1966 , only one year before "Prescription: Murder"
(25th anniversary in 1991 - "Death Hits The Jackpot" ).

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Replies:

Re: Even longer post!!! -- Ted, 13:42:53 03/17/01 Sat
- Re: post retention -- Ted, 13:45:28 03/17/01 Sat
  - Re: other limits, and discussion of retention -- Ted, 13:52:59 03/17/01 Sat
something else I like -- Ted, 14:06:24 03/17/01 Sat