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Tim
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Date Posted: Thursday, April 13, 2023, 02:02: am
I have a great letter that looks like it came from your kid’s school. Me and my girlfriend (their mother) got tired of her two smart-mouthed daughters’ ages 13 and 15 so we left, what looked like a letter from their school, on the kitchen table...lol The letter was professional looking and addressed to her two daughters, informing them that they would be required to get a series of injections in the buttocks within 10 days or they wouldn't be allowed back in school - as per a new State Law.
The letter sat on the kitchen table and was left open. Me and my girlfriend were waiting until one of the kids would start to read it. The older one, Elena, started reading the letter as we expected. Me and my girlfriend just acted normal as she kept reading. About a minute later, she started whining "Mom, did you see this?" My girlfriend acted casual and said, "Yes, I did. You both have to get shots of some sort. I was thinking of taking you both this week."
Elena called her younger sister Jackie over to read it and she (Elena), now very upset, said "Mommy, I'm not getting a shot in my ass! Noooo!" And it says I have to get two!!! My girlfriend responded, "If that’s what it says, then you have to get it." My girlfriend purposely showed a non caring attitude to make the girls feel worse. Elena, more upset said, "Mom, I'm not getting it. It says it hurts and it lasts 3 minutes long! And it says I have to get two!!! Mommy I'm not getting it! I’m not!"
My girlfriend, being in on the joke said, "If it says you have to then you have to. Otherwise you won't be allowed back in school" Elena started crying even more and said, "No mommy, I'm not getting a shot in my butt! I’m not!" I was on the couch in the living room and I got up and walked into the dining room and said, “What’s going on? My girlfriend said, “Elena’s upset because she has to get a shot.” I said, “Is that all? What type of shot?”
I started reading the letter and I said, "Wow, I'm glad I'm not you. It says it takes 3 minutes and you have to get two!!! It even says that a parent should be present to hold you down….. Damn!" This got Elena got more upset and began to cry. My girlfriend said "Listen, I’m going to take the both of you this week…. get it? You don't have a choice because you have to go to school. I may even take you tomorrow. That way I don’t have to hear it all week long. I suggest you both wear shorts."
Elena: "No mom, please! I don't want a shot in my butt! No! I’m not going!" My girlfriend got more stern and said "Listen, you're getting the shot whether you like it or not. I don’t care how painful it is. If the school says you have to get it then you’re getting it! Both of you make sure your ready tomorrow morning at 7!" Elena wailed even harder and ran into her room crying. Her younger sister Jackie acted tough and didn't seem to react. That amazed me. Elena was the wuss….lol Rubbing it in a little more, I said out loud, "Damn, those shots burn like hell. I had to get one in my butt once and it hurt for days! I'm glad I'm not them!" This made Elena stomp and wail even more…lol. To add to it, my girlfriend laid out two pairs of shorts on their dresser and said, "Make sure you wear these tomorrow. I don’t want any trouble once we get there." Elena screamed "No mommy, please. I don't want a shot in my butt.' I'm not going!"
My girlfriend said "Stop your whining, you're getting the shot whether you like it or not. I don't care how much it hurts. Stop acting like a baby." Elena was upset for the rest of the night. All of her smart-mouthed tough-girl remarks ended. We never heard from her for the rest of the night. I think she was sulking in her room.
Now the best part…..
When the morning came, me and my girlfriend woke up early on purpose. My girlfriend knocked on the girl’s door and said, "Come on, get yourselves ready. I want to get there by 8. Through the door, Elena yelled, "I'm not going!" My girlfriend opened her door and started yelling, "Get those shorts on right now and stop your whining!" She then handed Elena the shorts and said, "Put them on right now young lady. You don’t have a choice in the matter!” With tears in her eyes, Elena slowly put on the shorts. Jackie did too but without a fuss. She just remained silent. Jackie always was less expressive than Elena but I was hoping this would make her react; But it didn’t. I must admit, it was fun to hear Elena whining and the crying after she got her shorts and sneakers on. She is an average-built 15 year old girl with perfect weight and all that; Not too thin and not too fat. Jackie, on the other hand, is a skinny little thing.
I walked into their room and said, "If you want, you can squeeze my hand when the needle goes in. If it burns bad, squeeze harder?" (I knew this would upset her and it did. LOL) She was banging her feet, that she didn’t want to go. Me and her mother were ready and said, "Come on, let’s get this over with." We all got into the car and drove off with Elena very upset, about to cry. While we were in the car I said, "The last time I got a shot in my butt; I couldn't sit for a week! It burned like hell for a whole week!" This got Elena even crazier and she started crying again! LOL We finally arrived at, what looked like, a doctor’s office. After we parked the car, Elena started screaming, "No mommy, please. I don't want a shot in my butt. Please don’t make me get it! Please mommy no!”
At this point, we both looked at each other and decided to end the joke. Her mother said, "Okay, then you won't get it." Elena said, in a disbelieving voice, "What?" Her mother said, "We were only kidding. The whole thing was a joke. The letter was fake. There is no shot." Once Elena realized it was a big joke, both girls started punching me and my girlfriend like crazy. They continued to hit us for like a half hour. I was laughing like hell. It was real hard to remain serious for so long!!! Although Elena was angry at the joke, I said to both of them, "Maybe this will teach you two not to be so smart-mouthed all the time and walking around like tough guys." You weren't so tough when you thought you had to get a shot, were you? You acted like big babies." Eventually they calmed down and everything turned back to normal. But I will admit, it was fun to do this to her daughters who always walked around very bossy and tough; To watch Elena’s image go away and turn into a baby over a shot was so much fun!...LOL
The following page is a copy of the exact letter we used. I wouldn't do this if you have nice kids; But if you have the smart-mouthed tough-guy type – Definitely! Play it out. It's well worth it. I have some good suggestions of how to make it even better.
...Tim
Yodabest57@aol.com
PS… If you do use it, write me and tell me all about it.
Hepatitis A/B & Adolescent Vaccination Notice
______________________________________________
May 1, 2021
Draft 49018.16
Recommendations of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), the
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Academy of Family Physicians
(AAFP) and the American Medical Association (AMA)
The following CDC staff members prepared this report:
Francisco M. Averhoff, M.D., M.P.H.
Walter W. Williams, M.D., M.P.H.
Stephen C. Hadler, M.D.
Epidemiology and Surveillance Division
National Immunization Program
Notice Regarding Mandatory Hepatitis A/B Vaccination
For Upcoming School Year
Recommendations of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP), the
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Academy of Family Physicians*
(AAFP) and the American Medical Association* (AMA)
This statement on adolescent immunization is a supplement to the "General Recommendations on Immunizations" of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP). This statement presents a new strategy to improve the delivery
of vaccination services to adolescents and integrate recommendations for immunization with other preventive services provided to adolescents.
Dear Jacquelyn and Elena xxxxxxxxxxx,
This letter is being sent to you to provide important information regarding the new State Mandated Hepatitis A/B Vaccination Requirement enacted into law April 21, 2021. Both of you will have to receive mandatory Hepatitis A/B vaccinations prior to the start of the new school year or you will not be allowed to attend class. This letter will:
(1) Provide information about the Hepatitis A/B infection.
(2) Provide information regarding the administration of the Hepatitis vaccine.
(3) Help you cope with the pain of the Hepatitis A/B injection.
In the United States, most persons acquire Hepatitis A/B virus (HBV) infection as adolescents or young adults. HBV is primarily transmitted through sexual contact, use of injection drugs, and household contact with a chronically infected person, or occupational exposure. However, over one-third of persons with acute Hepatitis A/B do not have a readily identifiable source for their infection (8).
An immunization visit at age 11-15 years, before adolescents begin high-risk behaviors, is an ideal time to initiate the Hepatitis A/B immunization. In addition, older unvaccinated adolescents with identified risk factors for HBV infection should also be vaccinated (9). To achieve complete immunization, providers may offer Hepatitis A/B vaccine to all adolescents in their practice as recommended by the AAP (12). The Hepatitis A/B immunization is different from any other Hepatitis immunizations you may have already received.
You will receive three doses of Hepatitis A/B vaccine given in schedules of: 0, 1, and 9 months; or in certain cases 0, 0, and 6 months. If the vaccination schedule is interrupted, it is not necessary to restart the vaccine series. Although studies have not examined all possible variations, studies of "off schedule" vaccination indicate the following approach if the series is interrupted after the first dose: 1) another dose should be given as soon as possible and the third dose should be separated by an interval of at least 6 months, and 2) if only the third dose is delayed, it should be administered as soon as possible. Intervals of up to nine months between the first and third doses have been found to result in excellent antibody responses and studies are in progress to evaluate longer intervals (16).
Administration of the Hepatitis A/B vaccination is intramuscular and is administered in the buttocks. In the case of multiple injections at first visit, the nurse or doctor will alternate sides of the buttocks for each injection. A nurse or parent should be present to assist in holding you steady to prevent any movement during the injection.
Because the Hepatitis A/B vaccine is recombinant (a mixture), the dosage is large and the serum is thick. The serum is also caustic (it burns), as there is some degree of tissue damage when coming in contact with muscle tissue. Therefore, it is injected slowly. The duration of the injection usually takes between 2 and 3 minutes. It is important that you remain still during this period. The serum must reach the inner most part of the muscle and must be administered in the buttocks. It cannot be given in the upper arm or thigh. The volume of serum is large and requires a larger muscle.
The Hepatitis A/B injection is painful. You should lie on your stomach in a relaxed position with your toes pointing inward toward each other. This will allow the physician or nurse to directly administer the injection safely. It is recommended that a nurse or parent hold you steady to prevent any movement due to pain.
When the injection is administered, you will feel a sharp stick from the insertion of the needle. You will then feel the needle go deeper into the muscle. This does hurt. You may want to hold your mother’s, or the nurse’s hand, to ease some of the pain. It is important to hold still during this period even though it is painful. After the needle is fully inserted, you will feel a very intense burning sensation. This will last and perhaps increase, for the duration of the injection, between 2 and 3 minutes. Remain still during this period.
The needle must be between 11/2 and 2 inches long and 18g in diameter to reach the necessary part of the inner muscle. While this is a somewhat thick needle, it is necessary since the serum is thick. The physician or nurse will insert it with a strong jabbing motion. It is okay to scream or cry if that will help you stay still. That is perfectly normal. The pain will increase as the serum is injected but you must hold still. When the needle is removed, there will be another sharp pain. At this point, the physician or nurse will quickly swab the area with alcohol to prevent infection. If you require 2 doses at first visit, the same procedure will be done on the other side of your buttocks. Due to the long duration of the injection and the thickness of the serum, the site of injection will remain sore. This can last anywhere between 1 to 2 weeks. If the pain does not subside after this period, contact your physician.
As mentioned earlier, it is okay to scream or cry if that allows you to remain still. Do not feel embarrassed for this is common among anyone receiving these injections.
The consideration of the mandatory Hepatitis A/B vaccination, while painful, has been made in order to protect you from a very debilitating disease. Although it is a painful experience when receiving the Hepatitis A/B injections, the long-term benefits outweigh this. Please discuss any concerns you have with your parents.
The above recommendations for each vaccine are consistent with the current ACIP.
Hepatitis A/B Virus Infection: Adolescent Information
American Academy of Pediatrics
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