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Date Posted: 14:51:50 05/14/16 Sat
Author: nath
Subject: 1 more step/yr reached on the Survivor's way

(wrote this yesterday evening, May the 13th...)

On that day on that evening,
May the 13th, nearly 10years ago
i was preparing myself to leave...
May the 13th, on my birthday;
nearly 10years ago, i was preparing
myself to live the last minutes of my life

Nearly 10years ago...
on that day, on that evening
i was trying to find just one thing
just one thing to keep me alive
nearly 10years ago on that day
on that evening, i was looking
looking for just one thing to keep
just one thing to keep me stay
just one thing, one reason, one thing

Nearly 10years ago, on that evening
lost, desperate, knackered of those daily
fights me againt my past, my dark
passenger from my Trauma, abuse in 2001
years of self destruction, multiple
suicide attempts & thoughts and anorexia

Years of seeing myself from the top of a cliff
down on the floor the dead body and face
of me laid like DB outside cover CD
the face, the dead face, dead face of me
Laid on the ground under the cliff

Years of this scene of hyenas devouring
my chest, i see and hear them devouring
my flesh, my chest, my blood slidding
from their red jaws and their red teeth
this red my blood they take away
they took away from me, from me
they are devouring me while i feel
everything, the physic pain and in'
i'm laid on the ground under their
red jaws unable to move unable to scream
i open my mouth to scream, no way no way
to be heard, to push them away, their
noise covers everything, no way, no way
i can hear their watering mouth devouring
me, i can hear the noise of their teeth and jaws
im here on the floor laid, no way no way
no way to move, to push them away, to escape
they are devouring me, they attacked my chest
my chest, my chest, my heart, my throat
sound from me,even a scream, unable to go out

All this since my Trauma, abuse in 2001
This year: 15 years since it, since it
But on that day, on that evening
May the 13th, nearly 10years ago
i was preparing myself to leave
May the 13th day of my birthday
May the 13th nearly 10years ago...
i was preparing myself to leave
nearly 10years ago i was preparing
myself to live the last minutes of my life...

Said myself ok wait 'til midnight
then it will be your time to leave
Nearly 10years ago i was preparing
myself to live the last minutes of my life
And i don't know how or either why
my eyes fell on few words, a quote
i don't know how or either why
but all i know is that without
without those words today i wont be alive
Few words, a quote, just few words
but they have the power to save a life
they physicaly saved a life from suicide
without them today i wont be alive

Here they are, those words which saved my life
"Things happen to you in your life,
but you dont want to consider yourself
to be a victim, you want to be a Survivor".
Those few words, this simple quote
physicaly saved my life and gave
me a reason to stay, a reason to stay
and it shown me the Survivor's way.
Nearly 10years ago on that late evening
on that night, on that night it was a Rebirth
found a reason to stay, then a shelter,
my protective wings and many other inspi
who are Survivors too, a reason to stay
a goal for my daily life to be here for them
all, my protective wings my strength my oxygen
the reason to want to be here the next day
day after day, day after day

On that day on that evening
May the 13th nearly 10years ago
i was preparing myself to leave
May the 13th on my birthday
nearly 10years ago i was preparing
myself to live the last minutes of my life
nearly 10years ago i was preparing
i was preparing myself to leave...

Since 365days X nearly 10years of bonus of life
Grateful daily and eternaly, eternaly
to the person (1of my 2mentors), 3 letters
for this quote, for this bonus of life, for everything,
this quote is with me, with me forever
on my skin tattooed, grateful daily and eternaly
for the shelter & precious keys to Survive,
for the way done through years, for all my protective wings
my protective wings who are blessings of my life
precious puzzle parts in heart & life that we cant replace
who are 1of my 2 reasons to daily stay alive
the other one: to try to help others to Survive
to try to help them too to Survive, like a trapezist
to try to help them to be in the safe side
Take care all who are reading this
never forget the impact of your words they can
have the power to save, to save a life.
like some did to me nearly, nearly
nearly 10years ago, today im here alive.

Without a quote in this, i wont be alive today & won't have found the Survivor's way Link here

Video i made about it Link here

Take care all.
nath

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