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Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: Emmie Sue [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 14:37:15 05/19/26 Tue In reply to: Lola66 's message, "help me with my daughter" on 14:56:08 05/18/26 Mon You are on the WRONG SITE for parental advice. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: AL [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:07:34 05/20/26 Wed Hi Lola... This is not that complicated. You have gotten some good advice from a couple people here. No matter what happens in terms of how you correct her, both you and your husband must have a plan on which you BOTH agree. Otherwise, as someone mentioned, she will play you and is probably playing you right now because she has zero accountability. You and your husband can use things like contracts with her and come up with consequences that you both agree on. They can be extra chores, and so on. But it would have to begin with you both sitting down with her and explaining the problems and how they are going to change "starting now". As far as spanking is concerned, unless it's against the law in your country or you refuse to do it, then I would open your mind to it. Ignore the so-called "experts". Spankings given with love can be very effective. But at her age it might be better to start with other consequences and see if they work. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: Lola66 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:51:22 05/20/26 Wed Thanks for this balanced advice. Actually, a few months ago, we tried the chores approach, but it was a total disaster. Sara took it lightly, didn't do the homework I assigned her, another time I forbade her from going out with her friend, and she sneaked out. Perhaps it's our fault; she has little respect for written rules. This is why I'm starting to think that "contracts" only work with kids who are afraid of their parents. With her, it seems like she sees our conversations and our rules as superficial. My mother-in-law says that by trying to negotiate with a thirteen-year-old, we're simply giving up our parental authority. I'm starting to think she might be right, although the alternative scares me, because spanking isn't much talked about in Italy; it seems like an antiquated practice. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: Abbie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:04:17 05/20/26 Wed Your mother-in-law seems to know a lot more about this than you do. Perhaps SHE should be the one to spank your daughter the first time so you can see how its properly done. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: James to Lola66 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:52:08 05/20/26 Wed Contracts anywhere require communication and respect. It is not fear. I disagree with your MIL. Negotiation is fine, once the context is understood. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: Mark [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:23:29 05/20/26 Wed There are no contracts with kids. Lola has tried many punishment options and they haven’t worked so now, it is time! Get her buttocks bare and spank it! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: help me with my daughter Author: James to Mark [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:04:02 05/20/26 Wed You've no idea what you're talking about. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]