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>Great thread and topic Amanda. I came to this forum >about 4 to 4 1/2 years ago. I came because when my >son, my oldest son was 12 and his sister was 14 or 15. >I decided to stop spanking and instead use other >punishments as a way to deter misbehavior. After >trying that for two years, I found not having spanking >as a tool was a failure, and the behavior of my >children, five of them, was really creating a problem >in the family. It seemed that for some of them taken >away privileges, grounding them, making them stay in >the house and in their room, was not very effective at >all in fact, was more on the on the line of a burden >for me and my husband as parents. My husband did not >handle much of the discipline anyway, as he was >working much of the time, and he preferred that I >handle the discipline in the house and he would >occasionally assist. After my oldest son who will be >19 in May got involved with four of his friends in >some vandalism on Halloween when he was 14 things >changed. After all five of them were home at my house. >They were kind of shrugging at all as no big deal that >sent me over the cliff. I decided they all needed a >serious spanking, and I called each of their parents >and explain to them exactly how I felt, what their >attitudes were, how exasperated I was with the >continued behavior of my oldest son. The parents all >came over to the house. We sat in the dining room >while the boys sat on the couch and had a great >discussion over the next 15 to 20 minutes, and we all >came to the conclusion that spanking was an effective >and deserved action for this behavior and two of the >parents who had stopped spanking along with me also >agreed that maybe spanking needs to be a tool in the >arsenal. It was at that stage all four. The boys got >spanked and I believe I described that in an earlier >post. At the time I did spank bare bottom with the >pants and underwear removed, but at that point, I used >the paddle and that was the only way I spanked over >the knee with the paddle. My son afterwards, a few >days later, had a talk with me and said how he hated >this spanking and how he was too old and no one still >gets spanked anymore. He said he was in high school >and was way too old. It was then then I started >looking on the Internet and found this forum and the >number of moms that were still spanking their >teenagers and describing how they spanked. After >following the forum I changed the way I disciplined as >well as how I spanked. I followed Mary’s suggestion >and went and purchased a hairbrush, and I also started >to spank my hand first and then go to the hairbrush. >It proved to be very effective and in fact, using the >hand first, and then the hairbrush really made the >effect of the spanking that much more. My oldest son >during the conversation said that really spankings >were not effective for him and that he was going to >show me and he wasn’t gonna cry and that I was going >to have to use rounding or taking away things as a >punishment for him. He did things For the first six >weeks after he got the first spanking where he was >breaking the rules in each term I used spanking as the >first recourse, no matter how minor the rule breaking >was to teach him that spanking was going to be a >deterrent to bad behavior. In the first two weeks, he >ended up With a total of 10 spankings as he was >getting spanked every day or at least every other day >and on one day, he got two spankings back to back one >in the morning and one at bedtime because she did two >different things that cost him to get spanked after a >couple weeks. He came to me and said to please stop >the spankings and I basically told him they will end >when his behavior changes and he doesn’t earn a >spanking anymore. I got all my reassurances from this >forum from Mary from Sarah, from Jean, from April, >from Candice, and from Ivana and so many others. > >I just want to say thanks Mary for maintaining this >and I know sometimes I go overboard with my questions, >but I think many times it answers a lot of questions >that others may have on here but are afraid to ask and >also let people know how all of us spank on this forum >And the reactions of our kids that we do Spanik.
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