| Subject: Re: Legs up (“diaper”) position |
Author:
Joseph to Jana
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 02:48:27 11/01/22 Tue
In reply to:
Jana
's message, "Re: Legs up (“diaper”) position" on 17:27:43 10/31/22 Mon
>Hi Jospeh. Congratulation on your new family and its
>nice to hear the girls have accepted you. It might be
>a stupid question, but may I ask what a "maintenance
>spanking" is? English is not my first language and I
>don't think I have heard of it before.
Hi, Jana. I enjoyed your post about how you approve of the legs up position for spanking teen girls. I had never heard of maintenance spanking either until I met my wife, but apparently there are parents who use this approach to discipline in the US and in other countries as well, and many of those parents swear it works wonderfully well with their children even at young ages, but I think it is believed to work particularly when youngsters get into their teens. This is when they are contending with the onset of puberty and with many other emotional worries like being liked by their peers, getting ahead in school so they can get into a good college or into a specialized work area like a medical field, a computer science or other technical area. Also, the teen years are when boys and girls are first socializing with the opposite sex and going on dates and so on, and we all know that brings on a lot of emotional turmoil and mood swings with all normal, growing teens.
The explanation about maintenance spanking is very long, but I will do my best to explain. I have learned that many parents who use maintenance spanking with their children find that the regular spankings their children get with this approach serve as a definite release of a lot of that emotional turmoil that all kids share to some respect. The hard spanking of the child, accompanied by the all-out full-throated crying of the child, all of this involves a close physical contact between parent and child that is truly unique. The parent spanking the child soundly with the hand or an implement establishes the parent-child relationship in a way that no discussions or words can ever equal. This physical contact between parent and child is then followed up by another type of close contact which is again unique to the spanking situation. The physical touching and petting after the spanking by the parent with the bawling, sobbing child—that is a kind of cuddling and hugging and loving that wise parents should be sure to give to their spanked children as they cry out that spanking, but which many don't (especially when the atmosphere is, "you have been bad and I must punish you severely). The petting and loving after maintenance spankings is again unique and seldom occurs on any regular bases between the parents and children outside of the spanking situation.
It seems to me that the unique physical closeness of the relationship between parent and child which a spanking alone brings about is one of the reasons, I believe, for the persistence of this form of discipline through the ages. Children, almost without exception, clearly enjoy the “make-up” part of their spankings tremendously when parents take time to cuddle and pet them properly after the spanking is over. The truth is that they seldom get that kind of closeness with the parents outside of the spanking situation, so I think that is another reason why parents who use maintenance spankings get so much satisfaction from this approach and also why do many of the regularly spanked children feel the results are so satisfactory.
Maintenance spankings also seem to act as a needed safety valve for many youngsters, especially teens, to let off steam if you will. They also do the same for the parents in many cases, bringing to a stop the constant haranguing of the children that so many non-spanking or seldom spanking parents indulge in almost constantly. The spankings often restore on the spot a physical love and closeness between parent and child that spanked children seldom get otherwise, and many seldom spanked or never spanked children can go weeks or months (or sometimes forever) without establishing a similar closeness and loving contact with their parents.
In sum, maintenance spankings usually mean that the parents have elected to spank their children on a regular basis without regard to specific offenses, i.e., without waiting to spank until “bad”, naughty, negligent or neglectful acts have been committed. The option to spank for specific offenses is still on the table and still used for special occasions when some punishment is clearly appropriate, but many parents who use maintenance spankings with their kids report that many of the punishment spankings formerly needed are no longer required, or rarely required,
This also means that all the bad feelings that go along with those punishment spankings is largely avoided (like the anger and disappointment of the parents with the youngsters, and the guilt and upset felt by the youngsters that they have been bad and earned punishment). Punishment spankings, by their nature, bring a certain amount of doom and gloom with them that can linger over a household for days or longer in some cases before and after the punishment is delivered. Maintenance spankings do NOT carry the connotation that the child had been bad and needs severe punishment. Rather, they suggest that the child needs the pain and discomfort of a good spanking to remind him or her to be and stay on their best behavior.
The idea is that regular spankings are something that is simply needed by the child, and that need is reflected in the overall better conduct and attitude of the regularly spanked child. Further, once the spanking is over each time, the physical affection that follows is something that the spanked children love and appreciate, and that closeness created will help keep the whole atmosphere in the household on a better basis.
As to how often regular spankings are needed is up to the parents and we find definite differences here, in part depending on the ages and conduct of the children. Some parents using this approach spank each child once a week. Some elect to spank each child twice a week (as my wife and I do with ours). Some spank more often, but these are personal decisions made by the parents based on their circumstances and their children.
The critics who say this amounts to spanking the kids “for no reason”, simply don’t understand the deeper view the parents actually take on the subject, and many report, interestingly, in my reading on the subject, that most of the children spanked this way also seem to understand this goal as the reason for their regular spankings. The goal is that by spanking the kids regularly the overall conduct, attitudes and moods of the children will be noticeably better, the relationship of the kids with their parents will be much better (that is, more loving, more respectful, more affectionate)—and those goals seem to be met in the eyes of the parents using this approach, and apparently even in the eyes of most of the children spanked this way.
One thing is for sure in my experience. All of the constant nagging of the kids by the parents, the complaining about their conduct and attitudes, and the flippant and disrespectful responses that so many kids today give the parents—all of which seems to be constant and to dominate the home atmosphere in so many homes today—all of that seems to disappear completely in homes where the kids are spanked on a regular basis. I hope this has given you some understanding, Jana, of what I believe the term “maintenance spankings” is supposed to describe. Please ask any other questions and I will try to answer them if I can. Joseph
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 