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Date Posted: 01:37:22 11/17/99 Wed
Author: Dude Dammage
Subject: Steel, Shadow, Listen to The Dude

On top of the tallest building in the city, Dude Dammage is sitting in a lawn chair with a cooler full of beer, an umbrella over his head, and a fine young blonde tanning next to him. Michael Cole approaches them with the cameraman in tow.

MC: Dude Dammage, why have you asked us to meet you on the roof?

DD: It's better for you to have to come up here to talk to The Dude than for Him to drag His ass down there and have to come up here again, ain't that right, (turns to the blonde) uh...what's your name again?

Blonde: It's Terri, Dude.

DD: Yeah, right, Sherri.

T: Terri.

DD: Whatever, you're not bein' paid to talk...wait, The Dude's not payin' you at all, so until He does, be quiet. (Turns to Cole) Now, you wanted to ask The Dude about a few things goin' on with The Dude.

MC: Yes, well, before you didn't have anyone paying attention to you, and now you have at least two people who have issues with you, the creepy newcomer Shadow and Brian "The Hammer" Steel.

DD: Yes, The Dude saw that "The Ham" wants a shot at The Dude's Internet Title at the PPV, right now, that's out of The Dude's hands 'til the big shots decide if Steel's worthy to face Y2D. In The Dude's opinion, He'd like nothing else than to do MAXIMUM DAMMAGE on his worthless carcass at the PPV.
Shadow, The Dude's seen what you were cookin', and frankly, you need to see a doctor about your condition. If your magical powers came from anywhere, it was probably the power of Taco Bell. The Dude thinks that your Mini-Me's don't need to catch whatever it is that you have and mess themselves up, too.

Terri, giggling: Mini-Me, he was sooo cute in that movie.

Dammage, points at Terri: Mary, just look good for the people at home, alright?

MC: So what's going on with you for Friday, Dude?

DD: The Dude's already got plans for a big party that night, so there's no need to get into specifics, 'nuff said.

MC: Anything else?

DD: Yeah, get out of here, The Dude's gonna have a piece of pie, If you get The Dude's drift! Right, Terri?

Terri: You got my name right!

DD: Damn straight!

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