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Date Posted: 12:59:28 11/08/99 Mon
Author: CaffeineBoy
Subject: Four Way

***Blink 182's What's My Age Again plays over the speakers, and CaffeineBoy makes his way to the arena where Monday Night Meltdown will be held.

He slides into the ring, and poses at the corners.

(ringside crew tosses a mic)

CaffeineBoy catches it, spins it around so he can talk into it, and speaks:


CaffeineBoy: Now I know, I have to face the Messiah, Puppa Smiley, and the Sheriff. Well judging by what was the stipulation on Friday, Smiley shouldn't even be in this match, so at any time, I can get him to just lie down and let me stomp a mudhole in his ass.

You see, CaffeineBoy remembers clearly the stips, he follows them, and he enforces them.

(crowd cheers)

So, on Monday Night, as soon as we start brawling in the crowd, you're gonna lie down on the spot and let the crowd shitkick you, because the truth of the matter is, if you make a stip, then you better follow up on it.

Now I know, going into Monday Night, I have a distinctive weight disadvantage in most people's eyes...I mean, the Sheriff is 350 pounds, Messiah is 325, and so is Smiley. All of these guys have at least 105 pounds more than me.. But you've forgotten one thing.

Having a shitload of fat like that, makes you go sloooooowwwwwwwwww. So slow in fact, I'll have to carry the whole damn match to prevent the crowd from falling asleep.

So, at Meltdown, when you three are SLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLYYYYY punching and kicking each other, I'll just take a can o' whup ass, open it up, and serve it straight down your throats, and then at that Kodak Moment you know that I just decaffed your ass.

(CaffeineBoy throws the mic out of the ring and slides out)

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