The Army of Porn Act -- XAVIER MENS BASKETBALL

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Date Posted: 00:05:25 10/19/02 Sat
Author: X-band '01
Subject: The Army of Porn Act

It was a hard decision, but the General Assembly of the Republic of X-band '01 passed the AOP Act by a 69-50 vote this week. I, President X-band '01, will now sign the bill into law, effective 19 October 2002.

A lot of factors went into the decision, but here were 4 ultimate sticking points:

1)Every Xavier fan is entitled to visit the best possible Xavier BB sites on the web, period. The Cartel offers comic relief, and also has knowledgeable posters on its staff.

2)Although the Republic of X-band '01 has no official stance on the appointments of Muskieman and Shadow as board moderators, the Republic DOES not approve of the censoring of names of certain posters who will go unnamed. MM is now a censored board.

3)The Republic STRONGLY condemns the banishment of the House of Snipe from Musketeer Madness - HRMSIII is a longtime poster and fan. I refuse to support a site of which he is not a part of, and effective 19 October 2002, I will suspend posting to Musketeer Madness until THOS has his posting privileges restored.

4)The content that this board provides is world-class and occasionally controversial, but what is any board without controversy? I for one enjoy the prose of The Truth for example, and is our most underrated poster.

That said, the Cartel and the Republic have shared common interest for some time. A few examples:

-A disdain for the surrenderin' French
-Beer
-Kevin Smith movies
-Beer
-Midgets (sorry, little people)
-Beer
-The Man Show
-Did I mention beer?

I now offer a peace treaty to the Cartel - with the final seal of approval from one Pablo Escobar and Col. Homeskillet, I will deploy troops for AOP training at Ft. Smut in Burnt Scrotum, New Mexico.

I also nominate Najeh Davenport to be part of the AOP - click here for the poop, er, scoop on Davenport.

Our first game is less than a month away, and it is time to start focusing on the season. All that stands between us and the PNIT semifinals are a bunch of peacocks and Christmas trees that call themselves the Cardinal. Let us not fail.

Signed 19 October 2002

Witness the seal and signature of the President of the Republic of X-band '01

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Replies:

[> The little dude is coming around, I could almost read the whole post. Did someone show him some soft porn? THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE -- THE TRUTH, 08:59:09 10/19/02 Sat

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[> [> All of us welcome Xband with open arms. I did notice that he said he would not post at MM till HOS returns. Yet he posted today about a band cd. -- Pablo, 11:40:55 10/21/02 Mon

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[> When did they start banning Xavier posters? -- BO, 11:14:53 10/19/02 Sat

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[> Xband, I appreciate the sentiment, but joining the Army of Porn is much more than just passing some legistlation. I applaud your decision to embrace porn. Like Army boot camp, we are going to have to tear you down and build you back up. In the end, you will be a better man for it. Report to Minister Skillet immediately. -- The Humboldt, 10:51:19 10/21/02 Mon

And I also appreciate your sentiment about being banned from MM. If Gary Griffin doens't like you, he can ban you at any point for "cluttering up the board with useless junk", even when you are actually talking basketball. Gary Griffin doens't like me. That is breaking news. They ban me for nothing, then claim that I have an "agenda".

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[> The Minister of Porn welcomes X-band and provides lesson number one. -- Homeskillet, 11:15:34 10/21/02 Mon

I am in awe of the power of the Cartel. That power, combined with the stunning ineptitude of the dumb asses over at MM who have been purging names right and left, has brought X-band back into the fold.

Now, X-band, the question is where do you want to begin? I was a porn prodigy, starting right up with teen pillow biters before the age of 5, but I realize others take longer to progress. Let me know where you want to start, and I will send you to the appropriate on-line brothel for total immersion training in the ways of porn.

Lesson number One: Be Careful when combining the world's two greatest pleausres: beer and porn. First, it is hard enough navigating a porno site with only one hand, it is nearly impossible with both hands occupied (one with your beer, the other with your crank). Second, beer spilled all over keyboards is messy and an unacceptable waste. Jism on a keyboard is completely acceptable. Third, drunkeness may interfere significantly with self pleasure if your level of innebriation gets too high. It may be more dificult than you intend to properly "applaud" the beautiful images that you view after you have gotten blotto. Therefore, drink no more than 18 beers before pulling out the porno.

WELCOME X-BAND!! NOW GO OUT AND MAKE US PROUD BY POSTING YOUR FIRST PORNO PIC ON THE MM BOARD.

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