This is what you called me here for? Kande says sceptically -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 19:48:52 02/21/06 Tue
Author: Kande's Sis alias The Claw
Subject: This is what you called me here for? Kande says sceptically
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "KS awakes after surgery" on 16:49:57 02/21/06 Tue

Still dressed in her wraparound apron with tomato sauce stains, Kande strips off her oven mitts and stuffs them in her pockets. She eyes her sister. "You're calling yourself the claw?"

KS balances on her left foot, clawing the air with her right, making little hissing noises between her teeth. Her hospital gown flaps alarmingly. "That's right."

"I thought when you took that assassin naming quiz, your new assassin name was 'Boopsie.'"

"Oh please, like that even fits me. It's as bad as someone trying to call me Heidi. Do I look like a swiss girl from the alps?" KS tries to do a double kick and lands on her back, the claw flailing away at the air. Everyone winces and looks away from her.

"And as I recall, your arch enemy was called 'Toeslicer.' I guess that would be you, Stardoe," Kande giggles.

"Actually," Stardoe says thoughtfully, adjusting her safety goggles as she speaks, "it would be more accurate to call me 'Toesplicer. Seeing as how I spliced that foot onto the top of KS's toe...er, sorry, I mean Claw's toe."

The Mayor suddenly gets a whiff of something and gags. "Maybe we should call her 'stenchy.' Anyone else smell that?" She waves her hand vigorously in front of her nose. Looking down, she notices that KS's toe claw has a greenish cast. "Where did you get that claw anyway, Stardoe?"

"Oh...er..." Stardoe suddenly throws her hands in the air, hitting Kande on the nose. Kande yelps and takes a step backwards and gets poked with the claw in the spandex. She sits down hard on Bubba, who is completely deflated in a chair. Stardoe starts blubbering. "OK, I confess. It's not a chicken foot."

KS quits waving her claw in the air and lies in disbelief on her back, feet still straight up in the air. "it's not?"

"No...gosh, this is difficult." Stardoe hauls a hankie from her back jeans pocket and starts mopping her face. "You know how I pick up bodies and do cloning experiments with them?"

The three nod. Bubba would nod too, but Kande's big butt is parked on him and he can't move.

"I picked up this guinea pig who'd had a tumor on his leg and developed this gangrenous leg and I disected it and well, I..."

KS looks numbly at her toe. "This is a guineau pig claw?"

The Mayor starts spritzing air freshener. "With gangrene?"

"Shaq?" KS says, her mouth dropping open. "You used PFC's old guineau pig? The one that died?"

"Ooh Sis, I feel a new assassin nickname coming on," Kande begins to tease. "Stinky seems to suit you better. Or maybe Stinky Piggy. Or even The Slimy Green Stinky Piggy!"

KS gets up and hops over to Kande, whipping out a bag of golfballs and hitting her over the head with it. Kande slumps down unconscious.

The Mayor frowns. "You don't golf."

KS grins and holds the bag high. "My favorite new weapon."

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Replies:

Back under the knife you go! Stardoe says gleefully -- Kande's Sis - I feel good!, 21:26:06 02/22/06 Wed