Size Queen -- Starbase Rugby: Tankup's Bar

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Date Posted: 18:08:36 02/11/03 Tue
Author: Spacegal Jill
Subject: Size Queen

Jill found Paula by the bar's door. Her heart sank as she noticed all of the murderous drunks. Paula was excited as could be however, dragging Jill into a booth quickly.

"Wouldn't McDonald's have been safer?" She shivered. Granted, Swizzle Firma was a mafia hive, but Shwang made sure his showgirls always got protection. Here, she was just a heavyset tourist. All this worrying was making her hungry....

"Ooh! Look at the TV!" Paula exclaimed, paying no attention to her. Jill turned to see what Paula was pointing at. The news was reporting the death of infamous local, Spaceman Bill. "Any relation?" She asked. Jill was too curious to answer.

The newscaster droned about the "hero" of the WR@ crisis. Not much was known about him, save for his love of Asian girls and professional hooliganry. In fact, there wasn't any knowledge of who he really was or where he came from�just that he and his robot sidekick were pseudogood guys of the station. That and he had some badass sideburns.

Jill started thinking. Mysterious past? An affinity for Asian women? She had an idea, quickly whispered in Paula's ear. Her mechanical friend grinned and nodded approvingly. She took a minute to tear up....

"I can't believe he's really gone!" She bawled, loud enough to attract attention. "My husband's dead!"

"I'm so sorry about Bill!" Added Paula, taking Jill by the hand. "What will you do without your Spaceman?" Heads turned.

"Spaceman Bill?"

"Da guy with da robot?"

"Diddn' he shave Rugby allllll by hisshelf?!"

"Tha joik's a hee-ro!"

"An' dis broad's married to 'im?"

The bar erupted in drunken discussion. Some still payed no attention, but soon a mob had formed to give Jill comfort.

"I miss him so much! *Sniff* He said he had some business to take care of and flew off, and I never saw him again...." Jill wept. The sympathy poured in, while Paula holoshopped a wedding picture from the news' head/mugshots of Bill and Pete. Photo editing technology had come a long way; there was no way of telling she'd concocted the image in her head.

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Paula said, her optics lighting up and projecting the image of Bill and a much thinner Jill at the altar. Pete was even best man, with a little magnetic bow tie; Paula had a special bridesmaid paint job. "They were so in love...."

"And now he's gone!" Jill exclaimed, before launching into another cry. The pity increased.

"Oh no!" Shouted a barfly. "She's pregnant, too!"

"Twins, I'd say!"

Jill didn't visibly react to the comment about her girth, but had trouble resisting the urge to flip them the bird. But it was just what she needed�credits began to hit the table. The money poured in like mad, and showed little signs of stopping. As the dollars increased, so did the tears....

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Replies:

Groggy -- Terrence Lucian Basil II, 20:12:20 03/07/03 Fri