- Attorney General Jeff Sessions -- Caralynn Jones, 17:13:02 05/11/17 Thu
I don't have a sketch idea, but I think it would be great if the actor Leslie Jordan (<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0430074/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t11#actor)">http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0430074/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t11#actor)</a> was to make an appearance as Jeff Sessions. Mr. Jordan is probably most well known for playing Beverley Leslie on Will & Grace. He's of slight stature and does a great southern accent.
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- Piss off Trump -- Beth Bush (Devilish), 19:24:22 03/23/17 Thu
Hey there, if you all can refer to Steve Bannon as president Bannon as often possible, I do believe that it'll make Trump insanely jealous and help to get him (Bannon) out of the White house! Then it'll be one down...
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- Donald's theme song for new travel and Immigration executive order -- Danny kuby (😂), 12:05:20 02/17/17 Fri
Play Donald Trump signing new executive order during Tom Petty's don't have to live like a refugee!!!
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- Fake News Parody -- Andreas (Fake News-), 08:59:31 12/10/16 Sat
stereotype conservative liberal reaction to fake news on phone
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- Michael Dowd seven five movie documentary scumbag cop and sociopath! -- lisa, 07:28:33 11/16/16 Wed
Mike Dowd from the seven five movie is a douchbag scumbag crack head that should still b in jail. He gave me an STD! (PHOTO)Mike Dowd scumbag cop and sociopath!
CONFIRMED RAT FUCK
Michael Dowd was a field associate for IAD read this NY Daily news story
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/no-heroes-ugly-saga-article-1.692155">
http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/no-heroes-ugly-saga-article-1.692155</a>
<P>
It's even in the NY daily news. They printed the story back in November 1, 1995.
BY
Mike Mcalary
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
"Some cops have used the field associate title as a shield from prosecution. Dowd was a field associate"
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/no-heroes-ugly-saga-article-1.692155">
http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/no-heroes-ugly-saga-article-1.692155</a><P>
Dowd was allowed to commit crimes while ratting on his fellow officers to internal affairs.
He got out of control and the NYPD let his cancer spread to other cops while Dowd continued to rat them out and they let Dowd run wild.
Every cop that crossed paths with this sociopath should sue the NYPD. Dowd is a scumbag rat!
Michael Dowd ratted out about 10 NYPD cops during the Mollen Commission I know I caught him and was there!
read the Commission report.... Exhibit 8 page 5 -
QUOTE.....
"By Dowd's admissions to Commission investigators, by March 1986 Dowd and his "crew" including Officers Dubois, Henry "Chickie" Guevara, Jeffrey Guzzo, Brian Spenser, Walter Yurkiw, Henry Jackson, and others had for over a year already become routinely involved in drug corruption by stealing money and drugs from street dealers radio run locations, and by "scoring" (stealing) almost every opportunity that presented itself."
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="https://www.denvergov.org/content/dam/denvergov/Portals/374/documents/Mollen">https://www.denvergov.org/content/dam/denvergov/Portals/374/documents/Mollen</a> Commission.pdf
<img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw1gpVOVEAAa-W5.jpg">
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- Trump/Clinton skit -- Beverly Burrows (Bubbly), 07:15:49 10/24/16 Mon
I would love to see Alec B. lurking around Hillary (as he did in the debates) eyeing her buns and working his little hands like he can hardly resist
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- Hillary Training montage -- Susan Marie, 05:48:23 10/21/16 Fri
I'm thinking an 80's montage of Hillary training to not bust out laughing as Donald does increasingly unexpected and ridiculous things (e.g., visually rating women with charts, sticking feathers in his butt, etc.), failing, and finally succeeding. Eye of the Tiger in the background
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- Idea for sketch -- Chaya, 21:22:24 10/10/16 Mon
I have a great idea for a sketch based on the front page of the Washington Post Oct. 10th. In the photo Clinton and Trump are facing off in the second debate. It looks like they are singing to each other as they are both holding a microphone and it appears they are both saying something.
You could imagine they were singing: "Don't go breaking my heart" or some other song.
Thought this would make a very funny sketch.
Also, thought that a good sketch could be written based on the question both Trump and Clinton received in the second Debate where they were asked to name something positive about each other. What if at this point they get all lovey dovy and sappy and break into a dance.
Thanks for humouring an everyday gals dreams:). Even though I don't even know that anyone will ever read this.
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- "Evita, Evita...!" " Hillary, Hillary!" -- Liz Moe, 15:20:36 09/26/16 Mon
How about a sketch of Hillary as "Evita?"
"The truth is I never lied!"" My days at the State Department..."
you get the idea...rewritten lyrics to "Don't Cry For me Argentina." Or "Don't Cry For me stupid voters..."
I am not a writer but I am sure you have ample staff writers to do justice here.
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- Wheel of fortune -- Dickwad (Lick me), 18:48:37 07/01/16 Fri
Ok so you need to fo a scit fucking with the wheel of fortune.
So this show has been an for an interniy. Do the two hosts
have to be in depends, wigs, false teeth, moving around
stage in a battery operated wheel chair. The background
pretend image is people playing shuffleboard somewhere
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- Sketch Idea -- Seth, 13:54:24 01/28/16 Thu
- About the standoff in Oregon where the cops just walk up and do everything nonchalantly (even through the chaos), ask them to please leave
- but the militia freak out to the point off a gun fight over nothing
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- Americas first real "SUPER BOWL" -- Mike Burrow (excited), 15:28:12 01/21/14 Tue
So the first year two states pass Marijuana as legal both states Football teams make it to the Super Bowl? Coincidence I think not?
I cant stop laughing at this idea I would love to see a skit on SNL of two comedians playing Russell Wilson and Payton Manning sitting around smoking a hookah Payton as we all know this Hick way about him and Wilson is the poster child for young Christians of America. I think the two of them smoking pot together is hilarious I keep seeing Wilson giggling and making fun of Payton by saying Omaha and giggling at himself. Obviously the writers of SNL could take this and run will a hilarious skit.
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- singing sinatra couple -- judy paraskevas, 22:11:11 10/09/13 Wed
Mia and Ronan are at the movies. A couple sit behind them. Before the movie starts, the wife says, "Excuse, me but we just loved when you're father did.." She sings "New York New York..It's a wonderful town." Ronan says, "Yes Yes." After they quiet down. The husband says, "Of course, I loved, "I've been a puppet a pauper, a pirate...a poet a pawn and a king." People tell them to be quiet. Once again the wife tries to tell Mia and Ronan I just adored your father when he sang, "Go ahead and sue me, sue me...what can you do me." This time the audience throws popcorn at them. Now Ronan has had it. He starts to tell them he has had it. He had big shoes to fill. He'll do it his way. He finishes singing "I'll do it my way" with the couple in a big finish. The audience applauds.
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- Alex Trebek 9/17/11 Promo -- Steven Sedlak, 10:29:27 09/10/11 Sat
Subject: Saturday Night Live 9/17/11:Alex Trebek Promo
Alex Trebek
Steven Sedlak
Alex Trebek:Hi I'm Alex Trebek And I'm Hosting SNL this weekend on September 17 with musicial guest Boyz II Men
Steven Sedlak:Yeah and if you watch that show you'll be jeopardy
(Steven laughs while Mr Trebek looks at him angry)
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- Teen Saturday Night Live Writers -- Steven Sedlak (Happy), 18:06:12 05/15/10 Sat
hi there i know the forum is dead but i got 1 running if anybody wants to look at go ahead.
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- Saturday Night Live 10/11/1975 cold opening and sketches needed -- Kathy Sedlak (Happy), 20:39:56 02/10/11 Thu
hi everybody im bringing this site back but i need some help with it this episode goes back in time the airdate is 10/11/1975 with Host Cher and the cast list for this series here is the cast list
Cast List
Steven Sedlak
Victoria Justice
Chelsea Brummet
Jack DeSena
Christina Kirkman
Kyle Sullivan
Lisa Foiles
Leon Thomas
Ariana Grande
Avan Jogia
Malese Jow
Shane Lyons
so im posting promos here and anybody can jump in with their sketches and cold opening here is the promo
...Cher
(Cher stands alone of the homebase stage)
Rowan Atkinson: Hi, I'm Cher,and i'm hosting the first saturday night live back in time so i hope you guys have fun and no i won't be singing i got you babe.
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- Stormtroopers -- Wikipedia, 23:03:00 12/30/10 Thu
Stormtroopers (in German Stotruppen, "shock troops") were specialist soldiers of the German Army in World War I. In the last years of the war, Stotruppen were trained to fight with "infiltration tactics", part of the Germans' new method of attack on enemy trenches. Men trained in these methods were known in Germany as Sturmmann (literally "assault man" but usually translated as Stormtrooper), formed into companies of Sturmtruppen ("assault troops", more often and less exactly Storm Troops). The infiltration tactics of the stormtroopers are still in use today, in one form or another. Other armies have also used the term "assault troops", "shock troops" or fireteams for specialist soldiers who perform the infiltration tasks of stormtroopers.
Contents [hide]
1 History
1.1 British developments
1.2 Calsow Assault Detachment
1.3 Rohr Assault Battalion
1.4 Allied tactics at the end of World War I
1.5 Hutier and the last German offensive
1.5.1 Methods
1.5.2 Equipment
1.5.3 Storm troopers in 1918
2 See also
3 References and notes
4 External links
[edit]History
[edit]British developments
The British Army relied on superior accuracy and speed of rifle fire from all men in its units; their men were expected to outshoot the enemy. Major N. R. McMahon, Chief Instructor at Hythe's Rifle School from 1905 to 1909, suggested the advent of machine guns (MGs) and automatic rifles, with vastly greater volume of fire, making these tactics obsolete. He argued this would be all the more apparent when armies were formed largely of partially trained troops, who would be unable to carry out complicated tactics or maintain high standards of marksmanship. His solution was to abandon the fire fight as a distinct phase of battle.
McMahon recommended quick attack tactics by means of infiltration and rapid movement. In the existing British system, movement waited on fire. Thus, preliminary fire was usually a give-away. The enemy would recognize heavy fire as a prelude to movement, and thus be alerted.
Instead, soldiers should be trained to consider fire as a means to facilitate movement in progress. Movement would be a call for fire. McMahon advocated using combined arms in the attack, particularly light machine guns (some six light and two heavy MGs per battalion) using a decentralised fire control and tactical command system (known as Auftragstaktik in German). These methods, suggested in 1909, bore a strong resemblance to the Strosstrupptaktik used by the Germans six years later.[1]
[edit]Calsow Assault Detachment
The concept of "Stormtroopers" first appeared in March 1915, when the Ministry of War directed the Eighth Army to form Sturmabteilung Calsow ("Calsow's Assault Detachment" or SA Calsow). SA Calsow consisted of a headquarters, two pioneer companies and a 37mm gun (Sturmkanone) battery. The unit was to use heavy shields and body armor as protection in attacks.
However, SA Calsow was never employed in its intended role. Instead it was sent into the line in France as emergency reinforcements during heavy Allied attacks. By June, the unit had already lost half its men. Major Calsow was relieved for this, against his protests that it was not his fault that the unit was not used as intended.[2]
[edit]Rohr Assault Battalion
Soldier of a German assault group with his Bergmann MP 18 and a Parabellum P08, Northern France, Spring 1918.
The new commander of the Assault Detachment from 8 September 1915 was Hauptmann (Captain) Rohr, previously commander of the Guard Rifle Battalion. The Assault Detachment was reinforced with a machine gun platoon and flamethrower platoon. The old infantry support guns had been shown to be too difficult to move across the battlefield, and a new model was developed based on captured Russian 76.2mm fortress guns and issued to the Assault Detachment.[2][3][4]
Captain Rohr at first experimented with the Assault Detachment's body armor and shields, but realized that speed was better protection than armor. The only item of armor kept was the Stahlhelm, a new model of steel helmet. It later became the standard in all German units by the end of the war, and was used throughout World War II.[2]
The new tactics developed by Captain Rohr, building much on his own previous experiences from the front, was based on the use of squad sized stormtroops ("Sturmtruppen" or "Stotruppen"), supported by a number of heavy support weapons and field artillery that was to be coordinated at the lowest level possible and rolling up enemy trenches using troops armed with hand grenades. These tactics were tested the first time in October 1915 in a successful assault on a French position in the Vosges Mountains.[2]
In December 1915, the Assault Detachment started training men of other German units in the new assault tactics. Around this time the Assault Detachment also changed some of its equipment to better fit its new requirements. Lighter footwear was issued, and uniforms were reinforced with leather patches on knees and elbows to protect them when crawling. Special bags designed to carry grenades replaced the old belts and ammunition pouches, and the standard Gewehr 98 rifle was replaced with the lighter Karabiner 98a previously used by cavalrymen. While continuing to train other units, the Assault Detachment also participated in many small trench raids and attacks with limited objectives.[2]
The first major offensive led by the new Assault Detachment was the initial German attack at Verdun in February 1916. Stormtroops from the SA were in the first wave, leading some units into the French trenches, attacking seconds after the barrage had lifted. This generally worked very well, even though it worked much better against the first trenchline than against the less well-known enemy rear-area.[2]
On 1 April 1916, the Assault Detachment was redesignated "Assault Battalion Rohr". Around this time it was exapanded from two to four pioneer companies. At the same time, several Jger battalions began retraining as new Assault Battalions.[2][5]
[edit]Allied tactics at the end of World War I
The Russian army first used storm tactics at a larger scale in June 1916 during the Brusilov Offensive with great success. But, due to the February Revolution in Russia, no further development of the tactics was carried out on the Russian side.
The British Army also developed new methods. In February 1917, the Army issued Manual SS 143, which prescribed infiltration tactics. Using them throughout 1917 the British perfected all-arms battle. The British used rifles rather than grenades, as they were more effective. They were also supported by sophisticated sound-ranging, something the German Army never perfected. Some historians consider the British infiltration tactics more sophisticated than the German system.[6]
[edit]Hutier and the last German offensive
General Oskar von Hutier, now commanding Eighth Army, became a champion of the new tactics, which became known as Hutier tactics.
[edit]Methods
In the first part of the war, the standard assault on a trench line consisted of a lengthy artillery barrage all along the line, attempting to smash the enemy positions, followed by a rush forward of infantry in massed lines to overwhelm any remaining defenders. This process either failed, or at most gained only a short distance, while incurring enormous casualties.
Hutier suggested an alternate approach, combining some previous and some new attacks in a complex strategy:[citation needed]
A short artillery bombardment, featuring heavy shells mixed with numerous poison gas projectiles, to neutralize the enemy front lines, and not try to destroy them.
Under a creeping barrage, Stotruppen would then move forward, in dispersed order. They would avoid combat whenever possible, infiltrate the Allied defenses at previously identified weak points, and destroy or capture enemy headquarters and artillery strongpoints.
Next, infantry battalions with extra light machine guns, mortars and flamethrowers, would attack on narrow fronts against any Allied strongpoints the shock troops missed. Mortars and field guns would be emplace to fire as needed to accelerate the breakthrough.
In the last stage of the assault, regular infantry would mop up any remaining Allied resistance.
The new assault method had men rushing forward in small groups using whatever cover was available and laying down suppressive fire for other groups in the same unit as they moved forward. The new tactics, which were intended to achieve tactical surprise, were to attack the weakest parts of an enemy's line, bypass his strongpoints and to abandon the futile attempt to have a grand and detailed plan of operations controlled from afar. Instead, junior leaders could exercise initiative on the spot. Any enemy strong points which had not been over-run by stormtroopers could be attacked by the second echelon troops following the stormtroopers.
[edit]Equipment
Stotruppen wore the standard German army tunic, with puttees and the Stahlhelm; there was no special uniform for them. They carried rifles, clubs, knives, many grenades.[citation needed]
[edit]Storm troopers in 1918
With the defeat of Russia, Germany moved troops from the Eastern Front to reinforce the Western Front. This allowed them to take units out of the line for retraining as storm troopers.
On 21 March 1918, Germany launched Operation Michael, a major offensive, using the new tactics. Four successive German offensives followed. For the first time in four years the stalemate of trench warfare was broken. However, the attacking troops suffered heavy casualties. The German advance stalled by July and the Allies began their Hundred Days Offensive
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- SNY Episode:John Malkovich Sketch Sugguestions -- Kathy Sedlak (Happy), 21:35:02 10/21/10 Thu
folks i want to bring this site with new castmembers so here is my promo for a episode that has John Malkovich in it
John Malkovich
Steven Sedlak
John Malkovich:Hi I'm John Malkovich And I'm Hosting SNY this week so i hope i do good
Steven Sedlak:Yeah And I Hope we good too
and here is the cast list
Steven Sedlak
Victoria Justice
Leon Thomas
Daniella Monet
Jack DeSena
Kyle Sullivan
Lisa Foiles
Shane Lyons
Ariana Grande
Josh Server
Tricia Dickson
Jerry Trainor
i really want to see this thing come back if jennings is reading this i hope everybody will come here and help out?
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- Sara Palin On SNL -- A. Young, 04:59:43 10/19/08 Sun
Palin on SNL - Very Poor.
Did not know they grew chickens so big in Alaska.
She said it would hurt her party if she did the joke, expecting funny from her was the real joke.
What really hurts her party is when they found out Sara Palin still carrys her passport, so she can get back into the United States after visiting the White House in DC.
What hurts her party is when she announces " George Washington rode a horse to the white house when he became president. Sara Palin plans to ride a moose".
What hurts her party is " Sara Palin's husband has a big smile on his face. They have a custon in Alaska, where you make out in each room of your new house. Sara Palin's husband heard there were over 100 rooms in the white house".
Like the old saying, 'if you pour pepsi into a coke can, it don't make it taste any better".
Sara Palin is a chicken, that hurts her party.
A. Young
Virginia
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- hi -- sam, 16:32:10 06/16/08 Mon
hellow evry body ther ,how r u and your life ,I hope all things is OK, no body in my experience is complately OK so hear is simply as people say the taste of the life .
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- SNL's Back!! -- Ken H. (Yippee!), 01:22:35 03/09/08 Sun
Who amongst this group of bloggers is happy to see the return of Saturday Night Live?
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- Missing Dollar -- Emily H., 13:43:43 10/21/07 Sun
Where is Emily's money? We could not find it? Can you give us a clue? What is your name?
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Replies:
- Uh, what's going on? -- Justin Kaplowitz, 13:30:14 09/29/07 Sat
So, I go to the link at the front page and it's telling me all sorts of religious stuff. Have we changed format? Are we using the Power of Prayer to get rid of Maya Rudolph/Darryl Hammond or something? What is the big deal here?
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- Question of opinion: Who's the most overrated comedian? -- Jim Bevan, 12:20:26 04/22/07 Sun
Since this is a comedy website, I wanted to get some insight into the minds of my fellow writers regarding comedians. I'm just curious to know which comedians you think got more fame and publicity than they deserved; the so-called "groundbreakers" and "innovators" who, in your opinion, aren't that funny.
I've got a couple that I consider to be vastly overrated: Bill Hicks, Andy Kaufman, Lenny Bruce, Dave Chappelle, and David Cross, to name those at the top of my list.
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- SNY PROMO WITH ROWAN ATKINSON -- jennings, 20:47:44 08/30/07 Thu
...Rowan Atkinson
(Rowan stands alone of the homebase stage)
Rowan Atkinson: Hello, I'm Rowan Atkinson, and I'll be making you chuckle this weekend on the world wide web. I can't make any promises, but hopefully there will be no need for a funeral at any of the upcoming four weddings.
(END)
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- SNY Promo with Jim Gaffigan -- Prateek S., 13:36:34 08/09/07 Thu
...Jim Gaffigan
(Open to Jim Gaffigan standing on home base)
Jim Gaffigan: Hey I'm Jim Gaffigan and I'm mock hosting Saturday Night You this weekend! Ive had a lot of fun this week. I mean aside from muscle spasms, the nipple chaffing, and the testicular swelling, its been great. Its been real great!
(Jim puts on a fake smile)
(End)
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- REVIEWS: Kal Penn 07/21/07 -- Patrick, 21:43:49 07/27/07 Fri
Everything's posted for this mock episode. T minus 2 weeks for the next mock episode.
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- SNY Promo with Kal Penn -- Prateek S., 02:16:44 07/19/07 Thu
...Kal Penn
(Open to Homebase where Kal Penn stands. He is surrounded by Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, and Will Forte who all smile into the camera)
Kal Penn: Hey I'm Kal Penn and I'll be mock hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. I've had a lot of fun working with this progressive and diverse cast.
(Kal motions to the guys behind him)
Seriously, these people are great and I had absolutely no reason to feel like a minority around them.
(Everyone continues to smile into the camera)
(End)
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- SO long, goodluck -- Born Slippy, 19:17:30 07/16/07 Mon
Good luck to all the writers. All of you. I am out. Peace.
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- REVIEWS: Thomas Haden Church 07/7/07 -- Patrick, 18:17:32 07/16/07 Mon
I held off on an actual announcement all week because I was waiting to see if Prateek had anything (we've experienced missed email snafus in the past). But what is posted is everything, so let's run with it and get ready for the next mock update.
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- SNY Promo with Thomas Haden Church -- Jim Bevan, 14:30:04 07/05/07 Thu
... Thomas Haden Church
(open on home base with Thomas standing by himself, addressing the camera.)
Thomas: Hi, I'm Thomas Haden Church and I'll be hosting this week's episode of Saturday Night You, which will be broadcast over the internet, on all seven continents, and the planets Mercury and Mars. (his tone becomes cocky.) Try and top that with your precious "Live Earth", Al Gore.
(fade out)
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- Mark, I want to try and quell the bad blood between us. -- Jim Bevan, 16:09:03 04/26/07 Thu
Thought I'd post this here just in case you're not going to answer any e-mails from me. Anyway, if I offended you in any way with my comments on how I thought comedians like Andy Kaufman and Bill Hicks are, in my opinion, not that funny and somewhat overrated, then I apologize. I did not mean to upset you or hurt your feelings.
I would just like to know, though, why you found those comments so offensive? I was not trying to demean you, or people who are fans of those comedians, or demean comedians in general. I was just expressing my personal opinion. Please tell me how this angered you.
Thank you, and I hope we can put this behind us.
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- REVIEWS: Will Arnett 06/16/07 -- Patrick, 19:08:40 06/24/07 Sun
I'm not completely sure any more when this mock episode was supposed to have aired, but here it is for those of you who have been hanging on. By the Fall, we'll convert to a new format so that we can all have the power to control the updates as we please.
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- STONE PHILLIPS -- Scott Nettleton (Too tan to give a shit), 13:52:15 05/08/07 Tue
You can use this idea any number of ways. A kid is about to get laid in the backseat of a car and in walks Stone Phillips from DATELINE
SP " You would think Billy was about to get lucky, but he had a big suprise when", A lion or some shit jumps on the kid or the girl pulls off a mask and robs him. Whatever. The concept is endless.
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- SNY Promo with Will Arnett -- Jim Bevan, 13:50:48 06/14/07 Thu
A promo spot inspired by some recent events on the board. Hope you think it's good.
... Will Arnett
(open on home base where Will is standing by himself.)
Will Arnett: Hi, I'm Will Arnett, and not only will I be hosting the premiere episode of Saturday Night You's 2007 mock summer season this Saturday, but I'll be acting as a mediator to try and end the tension between writers Jim Bevan and Mark Jennings Reese. They were thinking about bringing in Jimmy Carter, but he just wanted to blame the whole argument on George Bush and Israel.
(fade out)
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- SNY Summer Mock Season 2007 -- Prateek S., 14:55:51 05/05/07 Sat
It's almost that time of the year... summer mock season. For those who don't know, during SNL's downtime we here at SNY are still generating episodes. We have 6 episodes scattered throughout the summer that feature mock hosts. There are always just some people who never got the chance to host the real show so we give them a chance. Anyways it's only a month away and I thought we should get the voting underway. I'll take over the tabulation this time if that's okay. And here are some ground rules...
*you may pick up to 10 people
*make sure to pick someone who has not mock hosted before Check the archives beforehand.
*former SNL castmembers are ineligible as are former SNL hosts
*if someone has made a cameo on SNL or SNY, then they're still eligible. and former SNL writers are okay as well
* cartoons and puppets are also ineligible; as cool as it sounds Homer Simpson cannot mock host
Those are some guidelines. If there are ties then there will be additional voting. All right then let's get it started!
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Replies:
- I'll start it off! -- Prateek S., 15:02:50 05/05/07 Sat
- Re: SNY Summer Mock Season 2007 -- jennings, 22:04:17 05/05/07 Sat
- My Mocks -- Justin Kaplowitz (Uh-member Me?), 08:54:23 05/08/07 Tue
- Bump (NT) -- .,, 20:27:21 05/08/07 Tue
- Keep your nominations coming! (NT) -- Thanks!, 16:13:04 05/16/07 Wed
- Re: SNY Summer Mock Season 2007 -- Mark A, 12:21:40 05/22/07 Tue
- SUBMIT YOUR PICKS QUICKLY (NT) -- The polls will close soon!, 22:18:41 05/29/07 Tue
- REMEMBER TO GET YOUR VOTES IN SOON... (NT) -- THE POLLS WILL CLOSE ON FRIDAY!, 12:26:29 06/04/07 Mon
- Bump (NT) -- last chance everybody!, 13:13:30 06/06/07 Wed
- New Post -- Patrick, 23:08:28 06/09/07 Sat
- Re: SNY Summer Mock Season 2007 -- William Dithridge, 00:12:31 06/18/07 Mon
- Best of the Year nominations -- Jim Bevan, 07:24:14 05/24/07 Thu
Now that the season's over, it's time to make our picks for the best sketches of the season to put in our compilation show. I can tally the nominations this year again if no one minds.
Since we've had some new writers this season, I'll go over the rules for them. Pick your favorite sketches from the shows in the 2006-2007 season; from the premiere with Dane Cook in October to the finale with Zach Braff. Here's a link to the season's archives:
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://snlyou.jt.org/archives/06/2006.phtml">http://snlyou.jt.org/archives/06/2006.phtml</a>
Select your favorite sketches, cold openings, monologues, even weekend update bits. Post them here or mail them to me at hurricanejbb@comcast.net so I can tally them up and submit them to Patrick. The sketches that get the most votes will appear in the compilation piece.
Oh, and of course, no selecting your own sketches.
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- SNL Discussion Thread -- Prateek S., 12:48:10 05/25/07 Fri
Hey folks, we don't talk a lot about the real show on this site but I'd like to know how everyone feels about it. Put all comments in this thread. By the way thanks to all who enjoyed my Cold Open. I did have some other sketches that I wanted to include but I've been busy. But I will have time for the Summer Episodes. Oh and don't forget to review and keep submitting your best of nominations and mock host nominations. I'll get mine in soon.
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- REVIEWS: Zach Braff 05/19/07 -- Patrick, 07:04:54 05/24/07 Thu
The update has been up for a few days, and it's easily better than the real thing.
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- SNY Promo with Zach Braff -- Prateek S., 23:33:10 05/16/07 Wed
I uh... won't be on later so I'm posting this kinda early!
...Zach Braff
(Open to Zach Braff standing on Homebase!
Zach Braff: Hey I'm Zach Braff and I'm hosting the season finale of Saturday Night You this weekend! It's great to be out on a Saturday night and not stuck at home watching a 3 hour block of myself on Comedy Central!
(End)
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- REVIEWS: Molly Shannon 05/12/07 -- Patrick, 22:18:55 05/14/07 Mon
I think we've received all that we're going to receive. All links should be in working order.
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- SNY Promo with Molly Shannon -- Jim Bevan, 09:39:03 05/10/07 Thu
... Molly Shannon
(open on Molly standing on home base addressing the camera)
Molly Shannon: Hi, I'm Molly Shannon and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. Hey, I saved the show back in ninety-five, let's see if I can work my magic and salvage it again.
(fade out)
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- REVIEWS: Scarlett Johansson 04/21/07 -- Patrick, 19:23:28 04/28/07 Sat
Well, this is everything that was submitted for last weekend.
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- We now have a 6th summer host going from mock to real -- Prateek S., 16:07:23 05/07/07 Mon
According to NBC... the season finale guest lineup will be Zach Braff w/Maroon 5.
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.nbcumv.com/entertainment/release_detail.nbc/entertainment-20070507000000-listingsfornbc03.html">http://www.nbcumv.com/entertainment/release_detail.nbc/entertainment-20070507000000-listingsfornbc03.html</a>
Who knew it would take all those syndication ratings to finally get someone from SCRUBS to host. Zach joins the an elite group including... Jon Stewart, Luke Wilson, Steve Carrell, Scarlett Johannson and Natalie Portman!
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- REVIEWS: Shia LeBouef 04/14/07 -- Patrick, 10:37:55 04/19/07 Thu
I'm expecting a couple more sketches from Prateek, but in the meantime everything else has been posted and ready for viewing.
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- Monologue for Scarlett's show -- Jim Bevan, 23:03:05 04/22/07 Sun
I just thought I'd post this here since I don't know when Patrick will be able to answer his e-mail. It's a monologue for the show plus some WU jokes.
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- SNY Promo with Scarlett Johannson -- Jim Bevan, 07:57:21 04/20/07 Fri
... Scarlett Johannson
(open on home base to show Scarlett Johannson.)
Scarlett: Hey, I'm Scarlett Johannson, and this weekend I'll be returning to host Saturday Night You for the third time. So get a clue: It's Miss Scarlett, in the virtual Studio 8H, with the hilarious comedy sketches.
(fade out)
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- Umm... -- Al Mitrovic, 16:50:18 04/16/07 Mon
So, I'm kinda new to this site, but, correct me if I'm wrong, I sort of thought we maybe had a, you know... show to do....
Shia LaBeouf... anyone?
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- Idea for a sketch -- Jim Bevan, 16:13:00 04/14/07 Sat
Since the site's had a bit of a writer shortage this year, but it's given me inspiration for a sketch: The Saturday Night You Comedy Writing School. It will have us, the usual writers, instructing students in how to pen comedy sketches.
I hope to get some headway done on this, so if anyone is interested, please let me know what aspect of sketch comedy writing you'd like to teach at the school, and anything you'd like to do in the skit. Thanks.
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- SNY Promo with Shia LaBeouf -- Prateek S., 15:26:45 04/12/07 Thu
... Jason Sudeikis
(Open on homebase where Jason stands alone, addressing the camera.)
Jason: Hey folks tune in to Saturday Night You this weekend with host Shia LaBeouf. This place is getting so pathetic that he didnt even bother to show up for the promo! And if an unknown 20 year old asswipe thinks hes above your website then youve got some problems. And hey its so dead around here that the spammers dont even bother us anymore! (laughs) Too bad no one was around to hear that joke!
(Fade out)
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- I Like It Ruff -- Vincent Gargiulo, 22:40:47 04/08/07 Sun
Hi everybody. I used to write many sketches for this site but alas time went by and so did I. But now I have returned. Not to write sketches, but to shameless plug my new music video "I Like It Ruff"! That's right. I left the world of write for the world of rock and you can witness this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKNHb_YHxLA
For those who always wondered what I looked like, I am the singer/cool guy. If you enjoy it, I encourage you to go to www.myspace.com/ghostpeeps to hear more and be my permanent cyber buddy. Hope you enjoy it. Think of it as an SNLyou musical guest.
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- Dateline -- CJ, 22:47:59 04/05/07 Thu
I am feeling that the dateline to catch a predator people are dying to be made fun of. This show is on constantly now, and Americans dont need to be reminded any more to be scared shitless every moment of their lives, we have the news for that for us already.
So I was thinking a predator walks in, the girl comes out dressed to impress, and she just happens to be the hosts daughter. The host breakes it up and the girl freaks out for kicking all of her boyfriends out.
Then maybe the host jumps back on the web naked pretending to be his daughter and luring more people over for his daughter and such. And maybe he keeps telling his daughter to dress more and more skanky and to invite some of her young skanky girlfriends over as well and such...
Maybe its a bit on the edge, but Im sick of seeing the show and I think the host is loving it a little too much. And I hate how paranoid America is and the show does not help anything.
what do yall think...
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- REVIEWS: Peyton Manning 03/24/07 -- Patrick, 07:29:28 04/01/07 Sun
I thought there was more material coming, but let's just run with it so we can keep this site somewhat up-to-date. Review away, you two!
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- REVIEWS: Julia Louis-Dreyfus 03/17/07 -- Patrick, 16:29:55 03/26/07 Mon
At last!
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- Idea for a Shia LaBeouf sketch. -- Jim Bevan, 22:49:04 03/26/07 Mon
I didn't know who our next host was, so I looked up his info online and found out that he's going to be appearing in the upcoming "Transformers" live action movie. A while back, I heard about a contest where fans could submit a line for Optimus Prime, and the winning line would be used in the movie.
So, here's my idea: we could all come up with our own lines of Optimus Prime dialogue that were rejected, and put them together into a sketch. Anyway, it's just a thought. What do you all think?
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- The SNY Awards -- Matteo, 16:01:45 03/12/07 Mon
Awards **AWARDS** Ceremony (Awards!!) of Justin Timberlake SNY Episode
We open up to a lovely stage - huge award ceremony stage - all the trimmings of a big hollywood extravaganza.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our host for the evening, Micheal J. Fox!
{Out hobbles Micheal J. Fox to a thunderous applause from the 2500 or so people in attendance. He's shaking like a leaf. He waves his hand to acknowledge the applause, then stumbles and falls. He writhers on the ground, trying unsuccessfully to stand up. A frail old man who also happens to be an Elvis impersonater in full costume hobbles out and helps him up. Micheal J. Fox thanks him with a pat on the shoulder, then makes his way to the podium.}
Micheal J. Fox: I must have forgot to take my medication (pause)... It's an honour to be hosting the first ever Saturday Night You Ceremony. When I popped into the writer of this posts head as an idea, I felt honoured to be thought of. Hey, I need the work just like the next guy - who doesn't?
Ya know, I don't really know too, too much about SNY, except for what the writer of this post has told me about it, but it seems like a really good place to pretend you are a "for real" writer (the audience mildly laughs). No seriously, it's a great place - lots of talent - cept for that Lonergan guy (audience chuckles).....and that Reeces-Jennings guy.....is that what you get when you combine Reeces peanut butter cups with Peter Jennings? I guess it can't be, because that's funny (audience roars in delight as Camera pans to Mark Jennings Reese sitting at a table with Jerry Seinfeld and Jerry Lewis - he's laughing too and all excited to be included in this).
Now, before we get to our first award, lets take a look at our nominees.
{Just then MJF falls down and lays there. The mole man from The Simpsons and the dog from The Family Guy walk out with a stretcher and place MJF on it. They start carrying him away.}
The Dog: I think that's it for Micheal J. Fox tonight. So I guess I'll be hosting the rest of the show, even though I can't even remember my own name right now. Well, I've decided were not going to look at clips - we'll just get to our first award.
Our first award is "The Chris Farley Best Physical Humour Award." It will be presented by that giant aphrodite monster chick from the Pepto Bismal commercial - you know, the one that goes "Nausau, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea", and there's all these monsters walking around destroying the town, and she's one of them. I like the giant fly too - and the giant Paul Bunion guy with the crazy face....man, that commercial is the best.
{Out walks that gorgeous monster lady, dressed in the same costume from the commercial. She has an award that looks like a cross between Chris Farley and Buddha.}
The Dog: And the winner is Jim Bevan for "Barack Obama vs. Maureen Dowd". {Cut to a clip of Barack Obama tossing a crumpled article into Maureen Dowds face.}
{Cut to a surprised Jim Bevan. Jack Nicolson shakes him and encourages him to go on up there and get his reward. Bevan goes up and is handed the award.
Jim Bevan: You look so much bigger in the commercial. {The amazon lady blushes} I'd like to thank Patrick for hosting this site, and I'd like to thank my cat for being there for me through the long and lonely, lonely nights, I'll just sit tight, in shadows of the night, and let it ring forever more. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight - ELO. Thanks!
The Dog: Our next award is "Mark Mckinney Missed Oppurtunities, close but no cigar award." Oh, what the heck, we'll have the giant monster lady present this one too.
And it goes to Mark Jenning Reese II for Justin Timberlakes monologue.
{Cut to a clip of the Lance Bass Joke "His nickname was ass pirate" Shoulda been "We always used to think of him as a bit of an ass kisser, but now we know better; he was actually an ass raider."}
{Cut to MJR walking up to receive his reward. He takes the reward and hugs the lady.}
MJR: I wouldn't kick you out of bed even if you had diarrhea! Thanks for this crappy "award".
The Dog: The award for best site creater goes to Patrick Lonergan. Patrick couldn't be here tonight, so I'll accept it on his behalf. Your the best Patrick. Keep it up. The "Persistence pays off Award goes to" Mark Jenning Reese. He's becoming one of the finest writers this site has ever seen.
{Mark comes up to accept his reward}
MJR: Look, it's a little naked statue of Lorne Micheals - and no balls - it figures!
The Dog: And that concludes the show - I gotta go pee - I can't even remember my name, though it's on the tip of my tongue! Goodnight!
{MJR and the giant Aphrodite woman wave goodbye as the dog pees on Marks leg.}
{Sorry, I'll try to come up with some more rewards. Pretend this was just intermission.}
This was just an idea I had to try to spice things up at SNY, but I don't really have the motivation to churn these out. Sorry for it being so late.
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- Sadness -- Karen Gardner (Please don't...........), 19:28:55 03/25/07 Sun
Last Weeks show (3/24/07)
Made reference to someone "going out back to hang myself in the back yard."
You know I was laughing and enjoying the show and then I was just sucker punched right in the face when you tryed to make suicide funny, it isn't FUNNY. Our only son did go out back and hung himself in the woods, in our back yard. I felt so sad that people can laugh about that. It is incredibly hard to tell you how suicide effects PEOPLE. It changes you forever and the grief is overwhelming........Depression/suicide kills 1 person every 18 minutes in this country. Please be considerate of horror of our loss and don't try to make it funny ...please.
Sincerely Karen G. ( S.M.F.)= Shawns Mom Forever
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- Dreyfus/Manning updates -- Patrick, 22:29:56 03/24/07 Sat
I'm still waiting on Prateek's submission for the Louis-Dreyfus update, but send in the Manning sketches, too, and we can get them all posted as a double update by Sunday.
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- SNY PROMO WITH PEYTON MANNING -- jennings, 20:35:37 03/22/07 Thu
...Peyton Manning
(Peyton stands alone on the homebase stage)
Peyton Manning: Hello. I'm Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning and I'll be scrambling out of the pocket and hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. I just hope I don't get sacked by a 350-pound joke that doesn't get a laugh.
(END)
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- REVIEWS: Rainn Wilson 02/24/07 -- Patrick, 13:48:49 03/06/07 Tue
I thought I posted this last week, but maybe not.
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- SNY Promo with Julia Louis-Dreyfus -- Jim Bevan, 08:06:34 03/15/07 Thu
... Julia Louis-Dreyfus
(Open on homebase where Julia stand alone, addressing the camera.)
Julia: Hi, I'm Julia Louis-Dreyfus and I'll be returning to host Saturday Night You this weekend. Tune in, and for every sketch I'm in that doesn't have a Seinfeld reference, I'll remove one article of clothing during the closing credits. (grins)
(fade out)
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- Hola! Remember me? :p -- Jessica Whitt (^__^), 22:37:31 03/10/07 Sat
Hello everyone...I don't know if any of you actually remember me. But I used to submit sketches to this site...years ago *ahh memories!* I see that Patrick is still active and running the site! *waves to Patrick* ^__^
This site sort of popped into my mind lately and I thought I would come by and see how my old buddies are doing! I don't really write sketches anymore, but I think I might like to get back into it one of these days. ^__^
What have I been up to all these years? Well I finished High school, then I learned how to make props and cool stuff like that, and I sort of became an artist/prop maker...and that's what I've been up to lately. Nothing much else, lol... But I wonder how you all are doing. I wonder if the same people still come around that were here when I was an active writer... *scratches head*
Here is a link to some pics of some of the things I make:
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e193/PowerPropsEBAY/">http://s39.photobucket.com/albums/e193/PowerPropsEBAY/</a>
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a217/MightyMorphinPR/">http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a217/MightyMorphinPR/</a>
But I would love to keep in touch, so if any of you have myspace you should send me a friend invite. My myspace url is www.myspace.com/fallingn2destiny ^__^
Well I guess that's enough rambling for now...
Sayonara! ^__^
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- Live from snlyou.jt.org its Saturday Night You Ch.5 -- Jack Farrell, 15:37:29 12/20/04 Mon
Hello everyone, well it finally returns the latest chapter of Live from snlyou.jt.org its saturday night you. Scroll way on down for past installments and feel more than free to comment on this chapter. Read on in the reply for the latest chapter. Well as Donald Trump might say "Happy cha-nuke-ah" everyone!
Jack
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- SNY Promo with Rainn Wilson -- Prateek S., 00:52:49 02/22/07 Thu
...Rainn Wilson
(Open to Rainn Wilson on Homebase)
Rainn Wilson: Hello, I'm Rainn Wilson and I'm hosting Saturday Night You this weekend! I'm going all out with the non-sequitors this week and if you're not down with that then step off! Because the milkshake bibles and kentucky fried cheesecake are going on a hunt for Pantyhose!
(End)
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- REVIEWS: Forest Whitaker 02/10/07 -- Patrick, 19:33:02 02/12/07 Mon
No assembly required.
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- SNY Promo with Forest Whittaker -- Prateek Srivastava, 23:02:16 02/07/07 Wed
(Open with Forest standing on Homebase.)
Forest: Hi, I'm Forest Whittaker and I will be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend! Despite what you may think, I am comfortable doing comedy. See, I was in Bloodsport and if that wasnt a funny movie then I dont know what is.
(fade out)
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- REVIEWS: Drew Barrymore 02/03/07 -- Patrick, 23:00:55 02/06/07 Tue
Post those damn reviews!
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- I don't want to seem pushy... -- Jim Bevan, 20:48:10 02/02/07 Fri
But I really would appreciate it if someone else besides Prateek and myself would review some of the shows. It's good to get feedback from other people, so we can better our sketch-writing skills. So again, I apologize for bringing this up for the umpteenth time, but some critiquing of past shows from other sources are much welcome, por favor.
Thank you.
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- SNY Promo with Drew Barrymore -- Jim Bevan, 08:19:43 02/01/07 Thu
... Drew Barrymore
(open on home base with Drew addressing the camera.)
Drew: Hi, I'm Drew Barrymore and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. And don't worry; despite my guest spots on Family Guy, I still know how to be funny.
(fade out)
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- REVIEWS: Jeremy Piven 01/20/07 -- Patrick Lonergan, 19:54:00 01/21/07 Sun
Our last minute submissions are in - review time!
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- lawyer's and buckwheat and payment -- ray (making fun of commercials), 13:55:19 01/22/07 Mon
see if eddie murphy would do his buckwheat impersonation as a lawyer who will sue if your born ugly he'll sue your parent's for emotional distress. stupid he'll sue for monatary damage's , short or to tall any thing your unhappy with, someone else is responsible for damage's. he even sue'd the bar assoc. because the test was one sided and won! being a lawer should'nt be only for the rich and smart. he's not like other lawyer's he get's paid every friday weither you do or not food stamps excepted after the 1st of the month only
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- Is a CO still needed for the Jeremy Piven show? -- Jim Bevan, 14:06:43 01/21/07 Sun
I can try to get one ready if there haven't been any other submissions yet.
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