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Date Posted: 16:01:45 03/12/07 Mon
Author: Matteo
Subject: The SNY Awards

Awards **AWARDS** Ceremony (Awards!!) of Justin Timberlake SNY Episode

We open up to a lovely stage - huge award ceremony stage - all the trimmings of a big hollywood extravaganza.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our host for the evening, Micheal J. Fox!

{Out hobbles Micheal J. Fox to a thunderous applause from the 2500 or so people in attendance. He's shaking like a leaf. He waves his hand to acknowledge the applause, then stumbles and falls. He writhers on the ground, trying unsuccessfully to stand up. A frail old man who also happens to be an Elvis impersonater in full costume hobbles out and helps him up. Micheal J. Fox thanks him with a pat on the shoulder, then makes his way to the podium.}

Micheal J. Fox: I must have forgot to take my medication (pause)... It's an honour to be hosting the first ever Saturday Night You Ceremony. When I popped into the writer of this posts head as an idea, I felt honoured to be thought of. Hey, I need the work just like the next guy - who doesn't?
Ya know, I don't really know too, too much about SNY, except for what the writer of this post has told me about it, but it seems like a really good place to pretend you are a "for real" writer (the audience mildly laughs). No seriously, it's a great place - lots of talent - cept for that Lonergan guy (audience chuckles).....and that Reeces-Jennings guy.....is that what you get when you combine Reeces peanut butter cups with Peter Jennings? I guess it can't be, because that's funny (audience roars in delight as Camera pans to Mark Jennings Reese sitting at a table with Jerry Seinfeld and Jerry Lewis - he's laughing too and all excited to be included in this).
Now, before we get to our first award, lets take a look at our nominees.

{Just then MJF falls down and lays there. The mole man from The Simpsons and the dog from The Family Guy walk out with a stretcher and place MJF on it. They start carrying him away.}

The Dog: I think that's it for Micheal J. Fox tonight. So I guess I'll be hosting the rest of the show, even though I can't even remember my own name right now. Well, I've decided were not going to look at clips - we'll just get to our first award.

Our first award is "The Chris Farley Best Physical Humour Award." It will be presented by that giant aphrodite monster chick from the Pepto Bismal commercial - you know, the one that goes "Nausau, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea", and there's all these monsters walking around destroying the town, and she's one of them. I like the giant fly too - and the giant Paul Bunion guy with the crazy face....man, that commercial is the best.

{Out walks that gorgeous monster lady, dressed in the same costume from the commercial. She has an award that looks like a cross between Chris Farley and Buddha.}

The Dog: And the winner is Jim Bevan for "Barack Obama vs. Maureen Dowd". {Cut to a clip of Barack Obama tossing a crumpled article into Maureen Dowds face.}

{Cut to a surprised Jim Bevan. Jack Nicolson shakes him and encourages him to go on up there and get his reward. Bevan goes up and is handed the award.

Jim Bevan: You look so much bigger in the commercial. {The amazon lady blushes} I'd like to thank Patrick for hosting this site, and I'd like to thank my cat for being there for me through the long and lonely, lonely nights, I'll just sit tight, in shadows of the night, and let it ring forever more. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight. Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight - ELO. Thanks!

The Dog: Our next award is "Mark Mckinney Missed Oppurtunities, close but no cigar award." Oh, what the heck, we'll have the giant monster lady present this one too.
And it goes to Mark Jenning Reese II for Justin Timberlakes monologue.

{Cut to a clip of the Lance Bass Joke "His nickname was ass pirate" Shoulda been "We always used to think of him as a bit of an ass kisser, but now we know better; he was actually an ass raider."}

{Cut to MJR walking up to receive his reward. He takes the reward and hugs the lady.}

MJR: I wouldn't kick you out of bed even if you had diarrhea! Thanks for this crappy "award".

The Dog: The award for best site creater goes to Patrick Lonergan. Patrick couldn't be here tonight, so I'll accept it on his behalf. Your the best Patrick. Keep it up. The "Persistence pays off Award goes to" Mark Jenning Reese. He's becoming one of the finest writers this site has ever seen.

{Mark comes up to accept his reward}

MJR: Look, it's a little naked statue of Lorne Micheals - and no balls - it figures!

The Dog: And that concludes the show - I gotta go pee - I can't even remember my name, though it's on the tip of my tongue! Goodnight!

{MJR and the giant Aphrodite woman wave goodbye as the dog pees on Marks leg.}

{Sorry, I'll try to come up with some more rewards. Pretend this was just intermission.}

This was just an idea I had to try to spice things up at SNY, but I don't really have the motivation to churn these out. Sorry for it being so late.

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