A Breif word with the Original Lunatic -- FCW Interview Room

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Date Posted: 11:18:48 07/03/01 Tue
Author: "The Original Lunatic" Coal
Subject: A Breif word with the Original Lunatic

** The camera turns on to a view of Coal's Chamber, as he likes to call it, and you see Coal sitting in his straight jacket, an interviewer is sitting in their with him, along with the biggest guard with the big tazer. **

** Coal is sitting their trying to bite his papper slippers that are still on his feet. He looks up at the interviewer, with a big grin on his face... **

Coal - SEE! My sign worked! The lawn gnomes didn't steal them last night! After all these years of those damn thing stealing my slippers I have finally won!!

** Coal just gets an evil grin on his face looks down and bites the paper slipper off his foot! The interviewer is looking at him like he's insane... **

Interviewer - Man what the hell are you doing have you lost your mind?!

Coal - According to my last psych. evaluation...YES!!

Interviewer - Oh right... that was a stupid question on my part... anyway lets just get on with this interview... Your opponet for Extreme Playground spoke some words this morning, about how much he thinks of you and Swift... What's your thoughts?

Coal - Electric Bunny Hop over fences at midnight to eat clovers cause they are good for you!

Interviewer - No About the match you flippin' moron!!

Coal - OHHHHHH!! Okay... Well Mike Mahoney is one really big dude, I mean he's the big blue retard! He doesn't intimidate me in this slitest... He's just another wrestler he sits their claiming about all those nobody's that he ended... He's a tip...NOBODY CARES!!!!

Listen when it comes down to it, this match doesn't even have anything to do Swift, or whoever he is... Mahoney, this is about me and you man... I come out talking about that I ain't got anything against you or Sammy, and then you talk your shit about how I am a nothing?

Man if you ask me saying shit like that you should be the one in here not me! Once, your ass chokes on the Coal Dust... You'll be a believe in the power of the little man!

Interviewer - Well their has been a few changes to the PPV, your buddy Embalmer is now in the Xtreme Title Match, and your other friend Biggun is in the TV Title Match. And you and your Tag Team Partner Spektrix are in the Tag Title Match, and He is in the World Title Match..

Coal - Yea man, this federation is about to be turned upside down by the likes of us, I mean Sammy is a good wrestler, but Embalmer can murder him, and Big Butt Bizzare..

But as for the Tag Team Title Match... Da Top Dawgs you'll notice that, me and Spektrix have been training, no not wrestling... Mentally, we will turn this match into pure and utter insanity!!

** Coal looks over at his foot and he thinks he sees a lawn gnome trying to steal his paper slipper... **

Coal - Hey do you see that *he points to his foot*

Interviewer - Yea man its your foot...

** Coal starts to strangle the lawn gnome, but the interviewer and the guard just see him grabbing his own foot. So the guard turns on the tazer and zaps Coal. **

Coal - YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!! YOU LET HIM GET AWAY!!!!

** Coal pounces on the guard and begins to bit his arm, the guard drops the tazer, the interviewer is really confused... Just then Sage walks up to the door. **

Sage - COAL! What do you think your doing to that poor man! Get off of him right now and come here!

** Coal walks over and hugs his sister, tries to explain himself, but ends up apoligizing to the guard, who is bleeding out of his arm. **

Sage - You know going at this pace Coal they are never gonna let you go...

Coal - But he let the lawn gnome get away...

Sage - I don't care! Come on I'm bringing you to Machine's Gym so you can start some training before your matches at the PPV.

** Coal and Sage walk away and get into Sage's jeep and drive off as the cameras turn to black. **

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