Embalmer -- FCW Interview Room

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Date Posted: 13:46:34 07/29/01 Sun
Author: I Am Jason, Fucking, Briggs. Accept No Imitations.
Subject: Embalmer

[It's a day after being handed the TV title, Jason is shown sitting at home. He's sitting watching Embalmer interview, with a bottle of Jack D in one hand. He takes a shot and prepares to talk.]

Briggs:
Embalmer likes to talk, and make the attempt to act all dark and mysterious. Does it scare me? Does it make me think twice about facing him? Hell no. Do I think he is really that dark? Hell no to that too. I've seen Richard Simmions up close, that was more scary than that damn Embalmer could ever be. The only thing that is scary about him is his dammed speeches, cause I'm scared that I might fall over and croak due to the fact that there so damn dull, and the bastard goes on talking about absolute bullshit.

[Briggs grabs a wrinked pack of Colts, takes one out, lights it up, and throws the pack back on to his table while taking a drag.]

During your little rambling rampage you mentioned that you held the Xtreme title two times. And to which I understand that one time you held that title for LESS than ten seconds. And what really pissed me off about you talking about that is the fact that that title amounts to total jack shit when it comes to the IC and TV titles. Where is my TV title you might ask yourself? It's in my closet next to my bowling ball and golf shoes. Two things that I will NEVER use in my life, I thought that that title would fit in perfectly with those two items. Soon your IC title will be joining them. then after that I got my sight set on something big, really fucking big . . .the FCW World Heavyweight Title. Ya I know I got my sights set high, but I could care less, cause when I win that IC belt from your skank ass, how can they refuse my shot at the Heavyweight title. I will hold TWO of all the FCW titles, but then the third one will come, and I, Jason fucking Briggs, will become FCW's first and only man to hold THREE major titles at one time.

[Briggs takes a drag, and washes it down with some JD.]

But then after all that, you get your two flunkies to make the attempt to say that I am not original. By saying that some half-assed shitty actor with the name Jason Biggs is what I'm made after? Biggs sounds completely different than Briggs, you stupid ass limped dick motherfuckers. I should slap all your mothers for having kids as dumb has you. Hell, I should slap there mothers for having kids that ended up having grandkids has dumb as you.

Fuck this shit . . .

[Briggs throws the almost empty bottle of JD to the corner of the room where it shatters into thousands of peices. Briggs leaves the room has the camera fades to black looking at the broken bottle.]

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