Barr's Look at the Awards (Warmup) -- NWC Awards Discussion

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 02:35:12 04/29/99 Thu
Author: Frank Barr
Subject: Barr's Look at the Awards (Warmup)

Hey, kids..

Just a IC warmup before we start off this column on the NWC Newsboard. I thought I'd shed some light on the Awards, because quite Frankly, it's due.

The Major's picks are as follows:

BEST WRESTLER: Please. There ain't no Best Wrestler in the NWC. This is a pure toss-up, a high school popularity contest at best. And about that subjective, right?

Honorable Mention - My frickin' ballsatchel.

BEST TAG TEAM: Okay, I'll take a Black Ops combo meal, side order of Collusion Course (when they were cool), HOLD the Upper Echelon.

Honorable Mention: Steel and Platinum. Yes, that's a joke.

BEST CRUISERWEIGHT (235-): I say give it to Snow or Aerts.. they've got to be given some credit.

Honorable Mention: "Fireballs" Pete Logan

MOST POPULAR WRESTLER: Tony Pride. The biggest fan favorite around! Yeea-heah! Hey, he'll slip me a vial of crack for the mention, back off.

MOST HATED WRESTLER: Zamza. Totally despised nationwide. Circle K!

Honorable Mention: "Sexy" Steve Sire. Extremely, extremely disliked.

MOST IMPROVED: Y'know, I gotta say...

Dread Saxon!!!(Regionless)

or...

Idol Austin!!!(Regionless)

...is the only candidates here. I didn't think they would amount to much in the beginning...but man, after they lost their NWC Titles, I really started looking at them different. Good stuff. Sorry, brodie.

BEST NEWCOMER: (1-3 months as of AEL2) How few names come to mind. I thought there was supposed to be a big wave? More like a light shower on my head.

BEST MANAGER/VALET: Miss Madison. Yeee-ummy. The Major needs the.. how you say, deegits?

Honorable Mention: Troy Clifton. Reminds me of an old Andy Kauffman routine. Hey, someone pitch 'im my idea! I could sue the MWA and get a fortune in the set..

OUTSTANDING FEUD: Dark Angel jobbing to (fill in names at your leisure).

Honorable Mention: The Major also considers the riveting Dread Saxon vs. "The Moronic" Joshua Lee buildup. Pure excitement that put any prior NWC Level match to shame, I say!

OUTSTANDING WEEKLY SHOW: SCCW Snake Eyes - Fresh, extreme, unpredictable.

Honorable Mention: MCW Fever: Remember the Voting Period, gang.

SPOKESMAN'S TROPHY: I have to laugh at everyone treating this question like it's the damn Sphinx's Riddle. I bet Spokesman means "Speaker for" or "Speaking of" or somesuch. I plug for who Barr feels should be the Speaker, Spokesman, Sheriff, whatever. Now, I'm a military man. It seems US Rocket Science work has nothin' on the grammatical dilemmers of NWC Balloting.

Then, what's even more entertaining is "I don't understand, but I'll vote 911, Sire.. or Pride" - Earth to Anybody!? Those ARE three fine choices.

Honorable Mention: The Major has spoken enough on that. Concentrate.

GREATEST MATCH: Idol Austin vs. Eric Rage

Honorable Mention: X-Factor vs. Evil Empire (Ren98)

GREATEST REGIONAL PAY-PER-VIEW EVENT: GCW Big Guns. BIG, BIG GUNS.

Honorable Mention: MWA Devil's Night 5: The Main Event was spectacular.

Special (Stupid) Awards:

TRUE DEDICATION AWARD (REGION HEADS): Gary Staples

NWC STAFFER PLAQUE (NWC STAFF): "The Major" Frank Barr - C'mon, it wouldn't be right if I didn't plug myself like a Hollywood hooker..

OUTSTANDING MATCHWRITER AWARD: Ken Nemesis - The guy's a creative GENIUS. Oh, but that ain't how it always was. I could tell you stories ;-)

Honorable Mention: Jeff of the GCW (BIG, BIG GUNS)

EXCELLENCE IN CREATIVITY AWARD (ANY):

WHUT DOES THHIS AWEARD MEAN? HLP ME UNDRSTAND IT. IIS TI EXLCENECE INN CRAETIVETY OR ECXCELENCE IN CRAYOLAS? NE HELPP WOULLD B UHPREECIETED. THNK U

Honorable Mention: Lee Clark - One Creative Bloke.

THE HANDLER'S TROPHY: Along the current line of logic, this is the masturbation award. So, I give it to Shawn Murphy. [Fireworks]

Honorable (Real) Mentions: Real Jay, MJ, Joe, John T.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Hey man, wassup wit dis?? -- J.K. Radtke, 20:44:23 04/29/99 Thu