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Date Posted: 12:33:05 11/26/02 Tue
Author: The Unknown
Subject: A Word of Advice To C4

(The scene opens up in a gym. It’s a rather noisy gym, with four rings occupying its space. The Unknown walks around the gym observing many wannabe wrestlers train. He stops near one of the rings and sits down in a foldable chair near by. He observes a rather large man practicing moonsaults off the top rope. The first attempt is horrible. He lands on his feet wrong and completely loses balance, falling right on his butt. He gets back up and tries the moonsault again. This time he doesn’t make the full turn in the air and lands smack on his face. He gets up with a busted lip, and surprisingly tries again. The massive sized man makes his way back up the turnbuckle. His legs shake from a lack of balance. He slowly begins to hop up and down on the turnbuckle and uplifts himself in the air. His body barely rotates as he hits the ground hard on his head. He lays there unconscious as blood runs down his face. The Unknown stands up with his back turned to the ring. He positions himself so that the ring can be seen from behind him. He looks into the camera and begins to talk. )

Unknown: This guy completely sucks as you can see. Does he not realize that his fat ass can not perfectly hit a moonsault from the top rope? He’s a damn mammoth. Look at the size of that guy. Some people just don’t know when to give up. Some people just think that as long as they keep on trying they will eventually accomplish what were trying to do. Sorry, but that does not work in all cases. Obviously it didn’t work in his case (the Unknown says as he points to the unconscious man behind him.). That guy behind me sure reminds me of someone who I know.

(The Unknown places a hand under his chin and looks as if he were thinking.)

Unknown: Oh, I know, he reminds me of C4. They have a lot in common. They both are overweight. They both are ugly, they both have a sling shot for a belly (he chuckles), and of course they both “think they can”. How does that story go again? The little train tries to pull the huge load, but couldn’t. But because he believed in himself, and thought he could do it, he was able to pull the load all the way to the station. The little train kept on saying, “I think I can, I think I can”, until he finally reached his destination. C4, this is no damn little kid’s story. This is real life. This is MCW. “Thinking you can” just will not cut it.

(Paramedics can be seen carrying the unconscious man out of the ring behind the Unknown.)

Unknown: Only the skilled survive in this business. Through out this whole time you have only been fooling yourself. You say you have been training. When really, you think you have been training. Isn’t it kind of ironic that all of your promos have been held while you were training? Chances are you probably planed to have the promos while your doing your so-called “training”. So it can appear that you have been training for the entire week. I know, and the entire world knows that you haven’t really been training the whole time. When you did the moonsault off the top rope you probably had a C4 look alike perform the stunt. Yes, in your case that would be considered a stunt. Everyone knows what you really look like. You’ve always looked like a pig, and you’ll continue to look like a pig. There’s nothing you can do to change that. You just need to stop “thinking you can” and face the fact that you’ll never be in shape, and you’ll continue to look horrible. Everything about you is fake C4. From your fake “explosion” concept, to the moonsault you supposedly did in your last interview. Fakes never make it in MCW C4. Unfortunately it appears that you will not be changing anything about you soon. I just wanted to take this time to let the whole wrestling industry realize how such a fake you are. In conclusion, just keep on “thinking you can” and maybe one day you’ll finally do it (he says in a fake exciting voice)! But as for today and until the day of the Pay-Per-View, that’s not going to work, but don’t give up just try harder next time (he says sarcastically).

(The Unknown walks out of the gym as the promo comes to an end.) .

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