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Date Posted: 03:10:54 12/14/02 Sat
Author: Matty dee is better than you.
Subject: I Don't Bleed.

[A blue screen. Yellow letters appear in the center of the screen.]

A MATTY DEE CONFESIONAL

[It fades in on a shot of MATTY DEE from the shoulders up. The background behind him is blue and yellow tiger stripes. He wears a blue head band and a yellow t-shirt that reads, "HARDCORE WRESTLING IS UH-HUM NO. MATTY DEE IS UH-HUM YES." with an animated face of Matty dee smilling underneath the letters.]

=MATTY DEE= I am _NOT_ wrestling in this type of match! I _WON'T_ do it! I am surrounded by a bunch of freaks here in MCW! I can't take this much longer. Maybe with the victory on Saturday Night's Main S#!t I can get myself into that number one contender spot with a victory over COTTONMOUTH JELLY BEANS, one of those _GARBAGE_ wrestlers. Some one who doesn't give a s#!t about going into the ring night after night, and mutilating himself to the point where he needs medical treatment. There barbwire chairs, these barbwire rope matches...These razor blade on a string matches. Y'know? It is one of the most rediculous things ever. _LOOK_ at what you can call _OUR_ "fighting champion". CRUSHER, or THE CRUSHER, my bad. He's got this b!tch that comes to the ring with him, and she doesn't have a name! This big dumb mother f%&ker just drags some helpless chick to the ring with him everynight. Oh wait, I am sorry dude. Did I strike a nerve? I know the girl does it willingly. (shakes his head) My point is, you're in a bad situation. But I can also see you dropping that title before I get my shot, just for the fact that you're a big dumb idiot who probably doesn't know what capers are. (pauses) Yeah, dumb! Cocoa King, it's funny that my first match is a title match here in MCW. Funny how things work when the men upstairs that call all the shot know good f%&king talent when they see it. I am the raw dawg shizzle. Master of the piledriver, and about 456 other moves. And those 456 moves are _JUST_ mastered. I am an _EXPERT_ of about 768, not counting the previous 456. Got it? I hate to talk about myself so much but...oh who am I kidding, I love to about myself, especially to you morons. The national viewing audience, a bunch of marks and holes. I can see why fans don't cheer for the War Machine Army. Simply for the fact that they can't handle people that have personal property worth more than any of the wrestling fans' lives. Or for the fact that we don't have to grow mullets and still be considered hip. Oh yeah, I got these highlights in my hair and I'm combing my long mull. All of you wrestling fans need to get out of 1989 and into 2003, the upcoming year of the dee. I'll divide and conquer all of you in MCW, then next I'll rip through the rest of the WeWA until there's nothing more than, than...MORE MONEY FOR ME! (starts to laugh evil) Cottonmouth isn't only thing you'll be suffering from Saturday, Mr. King, you'll be suffering from..._PAIN!!!!!!_

[Matty goes into a pose of sorts as the camera fades to black.]

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