| Subject: Majidah's Musings |
Author:
Majidah
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Date Posted: 15:20:14 11/05/01 Mon
5th day of Nuer'askan
Entry Sixteen
I never thought I'd see him again, especially without Cricket. But last night there he was.. my hands still shake somewhat when I think about it. Sho. I was hunting, and he came.. and damned if he wasn't like Ahkil standing before me once more. I feel that I could grow to love him like Ahkil.. there is so much to be learned from one such as he, I need that guidance so much. So very tempting.. he offered me, I think, an existance much like Cricket's. It was only in his weakness though, his hunger.. I don't really think he'd want to subject me to that, as I'm sure he wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. Still I think about it, but thought is dangerous. There seem to be just as many reasons to justify it as there are to stay away from it, and the former at times is more appealing. I wonder if it was this way for Cricket. Did they ask her? Was she at first adamant that it should not happen, then, did she slowly break down? Will it be that way for me? I say 'no, it won't' but you can never be sure. Another ten minutes in his presence and I think I would have let him do as he would. So sad.. he shouldn't be the only one to suffer as he does. Imagine.. me, showing compassion. But this doesn't seem a betrayal of my morals, it is different.. so much more significant and greater than my own strange values. Hell, I don't know what I'm saying.. Maybe it doesn't matter, maybe he won't come back. More than anything right now I wish to see Cricket. Gods, it has been so long.. too long. She could tell me what I need to hear right now. There are none but she who knows what this feels like, and I'd treasure any advice she would give. I wonder if she thinks of him still? Does she think of me? Who knows.. maybe the only thing she's thinking about is getting a tan in some tropical paradise. As for Tarek, I guess its only fair to mention that he's unhappily marrried, yes, or was last time I saw him.. not too long past. I care not to relate that story again, even for my own reading. I still imagine us all, one day.. sitting around when all tempers have cooled to a point where none of this matters anymore. Some time in the future where perhaps even Ciro and Tarek might meet and get along fairly well. It could happen, though probably closer to a time when half of us are walking with the aid of canes. There'd be no more disappearances, no fights.. only laughing. It would be peaceful, a comfort of friendship we all could use. Ta'kienta.
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