Majidah's Musings -- Majidah's Journal

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Subject: Majidah's Musings

Author:
Majidah

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Date Posted: 05:32:15 08/21/01 Tue

21st day of Auotien
Entry Six

We got into another argument again, but she said something that made me want to slap her across the face for such words. I came here to the stable to avoid doing such.. but I don't want to think on that now. I want to know what my damned last name is. Such a thing would hold the truth as to my origin, and family could be sought if I so chose to do so.. I want that comfort, to know that I could seek out someone of my own flesh and blood.

Cricket has just come and left the stables, taking her horse with her. She says she's going to find Ciro, but he's out at sea. I know it's going to anger her if she finds out, but I must follow.. something tells me I need to be there, if only in the shadows.

I can hardly write now, my hand is trembling so.. Ahkil, in the form of Cricket's Kindred Sho. I know it.. I can feel Ahkil in him, somehow. Another contradiction, for Ahkil hated those of that type.. even though they were thought only stories. I can't explain it.. only that I felt with him as I felt the day I met Ahkil, helpless and at another's mercy.. though there was no pride within them at the prospect. And again, as he bid me kill and release him.. much the same as it was with Ahkil, though this time I didn't do as asked. I can't kill him, even if I wanted to. I did, but I don't anymore. He suffers much in his own right, a silent despair that I cannot even touch upon with words. Cricket has found herself solace in a ship.. I'll not disturb her there. I know not if she is still angry with me. I, cannot stay angry at her for long. It went away as soon as concern surfaced as it always does. I don't know what I'll say to her when she returns. But for now, I'll sleep.. it is a rest much needed after so trying a night. I hope she too can find some peace tonight.. and he was well. Ta'kienta.

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