| Subject: Re: This is exactly why I'm against Supermarkets. |
Author:
JEDU
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Date Posted: 02:34:00 08/27/01 Mon
In reply to:
Dr. Irkutsni Slobotsnowicz Gewohrenson
's message, "This is exactly why I'm against Supermarkets." on 01:59:15 08/24/01 Fri
>>Hello.. and thanks for saving my life.
>It was well worth it, I'd say.
>>I encountered a
>>problem yesterday.
>>
>>I was at the supermarket. Then I picked up some
>>cabbage, and when I went beside the bananas, I thought
>>I heard something.
>>
>>Like some of the bananas were talking to me. I thought
>>it was my only imagination. But then, I really saw two
>>bananas were talking to eachother. Accidentally I
>>overheard their conversation. They were actually
>>talking about taking over the planet.
>>
>>Therefore I've got a new plan. What if ILTBMT could
>>arrange the trip, so the entire human population could
>>move to Mars?
>
>Dammit. Here We give bananas and other fruit a good
>home, and what they do is they lie there and conspire
>against us. I've told people again and again, my pants
>are on fire, but do they ever listen? What more I've
>been telling them is that they shouldn't keep too many
>members of the same species in the same place, at the
>same time. What will happen is they'll take over the
>world.
>
>Just think about it.
>
There is a reason I suggested that we had to move. Bananas are predators.. In packs, they are really nasty. A good comparsion is the Piraya fish. It's extremely dangerous.
>Everyone knows that even Hulk Hogan would have
>problems, were he to be faced with, say, 50 people
>intent on capturing his scrotum, he would not only
>unwillingly give up that, but he'd probably be knocked
>unconcious and loose all his dignity as well.
>
>(Luckily I've ivented something to prevent the loss of
>such, or at least to replace it in an emergency. I
>call it "Dignifier".)
>
>Now, here's some maths for you to ponder on. An
>average human, of which there are several, 6 billion
>to be approximately exact, eats more than 10 bananas
>in one lifetime. And there's still plenty of the
>little buggers.
>Applying the famous formula of George Haraldson Times,
>we see that 6 times 10 is 60. This in turn means that
>there's over sixty billion bananas on the planet.
>
>So now the bastards are intent on taking over the
>planet, eh? I say we kill'em. As you might know, we
>here at ILTBMT greatly encourage smoking. You think
>this is just a whim? Oh, no sir!
>
>If we didn't smoke, the planet would be flooded with
>cigarettes.
>
>>Then could all these nice bananas live on earth? Is
>>that a good idea? I can affort to invest 2000 NOK if
>>that could help.
>
>Bananas on earth? FEH! I say, get rid of them all
>before it's to late! People of earth! Start eating
>bananas!
>
>Not only are they tasty and have a funny name, but
>they hold loads of nutrition and shit like that too!
>
>And, they're trying to take over the planet!
>
>-- Irkutsni Slobotsnowicz Gewohrenson, Dr., Med., Bi.,
>Sci., Ph., Ll.
>
>"Desistere, fimus non desidero!"
Doctor... It's time to invent something that can kill these bastards. The planet is doomed if the Bananas still could walk around. Something must be done at once.
JEDU
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