Author:
Dr. Irkutsni Slobotsnowicz Gewohrenson
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Date Posted: 01:59:15 08/24/01 Fri
In reply to:
JEDU
's message, "Problem with bananas & a brilliant solution for it." on 10:33:00 08/23/01 Thu
>Hello.. and thanks for saving my life.
It was well worth it, I'd say.
>I encountered a
>problem yesterday.
>
>I was at the supermarket. Then I picked up some
>cabbage, and when I went beside the bananas, I thought
>I heard something.
>
>Like some of the bananas were talking to me. I thought
>it was my only imagination. But then, I really saw two
>bananas were talking to eachother. Accidentally I
>overheard their conversation. They were actually
>talking about taking over the planet.
>
>Therefore I've got a new plan. What if ILTBMT could
>arrange the trip, so the entire human population could
>move to Mars?
Dammit. Here We give bananas and other fruit a good home, and what they do is they lie there and conspire against us. I've told people again and again, my pants are on fire, but do they ever listen? What more I've been telling them is that they shouldn't keep too many members of the same species in the same place, at the same time. What will happen is they'll take over the world.
Just think about it.
Everyone knows that even Hulk Hogan would have problems, were he to be faced with, say, 50 people intent on capturing his scrotum, he would not only unwillingly give up that, but he'd probably be knocked unconcious and loose all his dignity as well.
(Luckily I've ivented something to prevent the loss of such, or at least to replace it in an emergency. I call it "Dignifier".)
Now, here's some maths for you to ponder on. An average human, of which there are several, 6 billion to be approximately exact, eats more than 10 bananas in one lifetime. And there's still plenty of the little buggers.
Applying the famous formula of George Haraldson Times, we see that 6 times 10 is 60. This in turn means that there's over sixty billion bananas on the planet.
So now the bastards are intent on taking over the planet, eh? I say we kill'em. As you might know, we here at ILTBMT greatly encourage smoking. You think this is just a whim? Oh, no sir!
If we didn't smoke, the planet would be flooded with cigarettes.
>Then could all these nice bananas live on earth? Is
>that a good idea? I can affort to invest 2000 NOK if
>that could help.
Bananas on earth? FEH! I say, get rid of them all before it's to late! People of earth! Start eating bananas!
Not only are they tasty and have a funny name, but they hold loads of nutrition and shit like that too!
And, they're trying to take over the planet!
-- Irkutsni Slobotsnowicz Gewohrenson, Dr., Med., Bi., Sci., Ph., Ll.
"Desistere, fimus non desidero!"
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