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Date Posted: 19:32:25 06/16/00 Fri
Author: fdfd
Subject: dfd

(Scene opens there is static on the screen then an HBO Sign flashes on the screen as it is an HBO original program, the screen goes black. I WANNA GET HIGH!!! (Universal High by OKC begins to play) the screen is black we see a panoramic view of Los Angeles the city buildings across the skyline and the hollywood hills in the background the music continues to play then 4 slashes come across the screen ripping the scene to shreds and a neon green color glowing in the background an anti freeze color dripping through the slashes like blood. (Remember Predator! that Alien Blood) Another slash comes across and and the green blood just pours all over completly covering the scene of the city. Chatting with the Cat comes stamping on in black and gold with a (Panter Hiss as it hits Think how sable's music started) The Scene cuts to inside a theater somewhere in Hollywood there is a crowd standing and applauding, the stage is shiny black marble and there is a desk off a ways the lights start to flicker and Tiger's Theme is still continuing to play All of a sudden we see Tiger Rising up from the floor a little trap door on the stage he is dressed in casual clothes a Tight Green shirt conforming to his body, some black pants and boots and a Black and Green Mask on his face the moment Tiger is fully raised he hits a pose like Shawn Micheals and Green Pyro Shoot off everywhere, the rafters the stage the crowd, Tiger takes a few bows and his music stops playing and he stands in front of the crowd on stage and begins to speak.)

Tiger: Welcome!! Welcome!!

(Crowd cheers so loud you can barely here him)

Tiger: Thank You! Thank You!

(puts his hands down towards the floor trying to get the crowd to quiet down.)

Tiger: Alright! Thanks for being here we have a great show for you today on the inaugural edition of Chattin with the Cat! We're kicking things off with a bang today, as you know To The Max PPV is this Weekend and We're going to have many GWA stars here tonight to get us all pumped up for the Pay Per View! There not me but hell we'll here what they got to say! Some of the stars here tonight include SWA Great Nikki Silver!!! Dark Tiger will be here you all better hold on to your hats it could get rough in here, I here Jack Otis might show up as well. Andrea Jiminez should be stopping by She cracks me up! Many more on this Big Blowout of a Show!

(Crowd cheers)

Tiger: Let me introduce you to....

(Stares at the card he's reading and looks around confused)

Tiger: This can't be right!

(Camera nods up and down to show it is)

Tiger: Gilbert Godfrey and the HBO Band!?!

(Music plays and a panel opens in the wall and we see Gilbert Godfrey singing a horrible rendition "Eye of the Tiger" Off key and cracking up. The band isn't bad but the thought of Godfrey singing is just torture. Tiger looks around a little upset as he wasn't told of this. He then continues to read the card and all of a sudden is happy again.)

Tiger: Gilbert!! how are you doing?

Gilber! I Am AlRiGhT!

Tiger: I didn't know you were a singer!

Gilbert! YeAh! I UsEd to bE on BroAdWAy!

Tiger: Okay! Let here a little number how about Over the Rainbow?

Gilbert: One of my all time favorites! SOmeWherE OOVEeerR tHe RaInbOW!!!

Tiger: Ladies and Gentleman we here at chattin with the cat want to make you viewing experience and pleasant as possible and what better way then to have you interact in the show, if you would look under your seats there are various items, tomatoes, empty beer bottles, hell maybe even a pocket knife or two. We'd like you do do whatever comes to mind and have a hell of a time!

(The crowd laughs is off, but there really is Items under there seats, one person launches a ding dong in the air nd it crashes right between Gilberts eyes (Probably that Bloke Roland Stern) This sets the crowd off and a barrage of items start to pummel Gilbert Godfrey, a bottle bounces off his head and makes a nice THUNK! Sound, a few soggy tomatoes splosh him up, he is finally Knocked silly by a can of Cat Food and sits down not singing anymore!)

(Crowd Cheers)

Tiger: Now come on, everyone he's not that bad! He's not Jack Otis or Anything you didn't need to do all that! (sarcastic tone)

Tiger: Help that poor sap to his feet!

( the band helps him up and drags him off the stage and we see stage hands coming out to clean up the mess, Tiger goes and sits at his desk.)

Tiger: I know many of you seen me on Dave's show, the top Ten List and Current events I could rip those off but Hell I decided to come up with my own little segments, tonight being the first show, we're going to kick it off with an award show! What awards you might ask? Well as we know the GWA has there awards so I figure what the hell, I'll have my own awards. I call them the Emme's! Not the Emmy's The Emme's you heard me right! Tonight I will be honering some of the GWA's best with an Award for there fine work in and out of the ring. So without further ado lets get the award show underway.

( Scene switches some music plays we see Emme's in Gold letters on the screen and a small trophy with a figure of Emerald Tiger in Gold on a pedestal.)

Tiger: Alright for Our first award of the night in the Category of Match most likely not to be played around people operating heavy machinery.

(Drum Roll, Tiger opens the envelope!)

Tiger: Any Match with Joe Barroni!! As a matter of fact Joe Barroni is here tonight, and will be accepting his award!

(Knight Rider theme plays and Joe Barronie in some beat up old clothes walks up on stage very excited as he's never really won anything before. Takes him Emme and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper.)

Joe: (Tear drops from his eye) First off I would like to thank all of you who made this possible, Baylow, Satan Claus and many others along the way. I wouldn't be who I am today without you guys. I've been through a lot and plan to turn the corner soon and pick up the pace! I ......

Tiger: Alright thats enough get out of here!

(Joe Baroni walks off with his award very pleased)

Tiger: Next winning the Award for most likely to be caught seen wearing a Rasberry Beret!

(Drum Roll)

Tiger: Nikki Silver ladies and Gentleman!! He is not here to accept his award but we'll send it fed ex or something.

Now The award for most likely to be deported back to Cuba award goes to none other then Andreas Jiminez!
He aint here yada yada! Check your mail box.

(Crowd laughs)

Tiger: What this? Most likely to duck everytime they here the name Temujin! Goes to Mr. Jerry Baskin Robbins everyone! Whatever thats about I don't get it!

Our next award goes to Baylow!! For what the Hell is a Baylow award!

And Finally our last Emme in the category of The Best darn CEO in the business! Chad O Runner!!! CEO Runners award will be acompanied by a Mucho Nacho, a sack of Chalupas and we'll throw in a Gordita or two. (an obvious attempt to suck up)

Tiger:Thats it for the first editon of my Emme's you better try really hard, and maybe you too can be graced with an emme!

(Music plays Emme promo plays and Tiger is back at his desk.)

Tiger: Ladies and Gentleman my first guest... Your kidding me!

(looks at producer)

Tiger: Joe Barroni I've seen enough of him for one night! Why would you book him as my top guest he's terrible!!

Producer: Well I here his name all the time, WWF, WCW, GWA everywhere they're talking about Joe Barroni!!!

Tiger: Your an Idiot! your Fired!! Well lets get Joe out here!!

((Joe Barroni walks out with his emme in hand still overcome by his win! He then sits)

Tiger: Joe Barroni I don't have much to ask you say whatever you want!

Joe: Well, I'm glad to be here first time on a talk show, I feel things are really starting to go my way, I mean I was talking to Barry Horowitz and Gillberg the other day and they have been impressed with me, said I'm reallly improving I think working with them has taken my game to another level.

(Tiger during all this has picked up an issue of sports illustrated and is reading not even caring what Joe Barroni has to say.)

Joe: Tiger!

Tiger: Huh! oh don't you have a match or something at the PPV?

Joe: Oh, yeah me and Akbar are going to get whats are's the Legion Tag Titles, I know there's some teams there Sal and Vinnie! Blunderjamma and and Kidd Ickypus There just not expecting me and akbar to show up but we have the element of surprise, and you'll be looking at the new champs real soon.

Tiger: (laughing) Yeah, and where is Akbar?

Joe: Oh, he's working he dropped me off before I came here!

Tiger: Yeah, I think I rode in his cab before shag upolstry smelled like Curry, complimentary beef jerky!

Joe: Thats him!

Tiger:Thought so

Joe: You know, after I win the tag belts I'd like to get a shot at you Tiger, I mean I think I could be the #1 contender for the Maximux title, I am going to demand a shot right here on the air, in front of the whole world, I Joe Barroni Want a Title Shot!!! I deserve it!

Tiger: You deserve a Smooth A$$ Whoopin! Coming on here talking that crap! You must have gone plum loco! Get you A$$ up!

(slaps Joe in the back of the head)

Joe: But I'm...

Tiger: Sorry aint gonna cut, Gimme that!

(Snatches his emme away, kicks him in the rear and sends him reeling off stage!

Tiger: Now my next guest my opponent at To The Max! The man himself JACK OTIS!!! And Dark Tiger!!! ladies and gentleman!

(Tiger sits at his desk Otis's theme hits and a few moments the curtians move and out walks two midgets that are dead ringers for Otis and Tiger, but only about a foot and a half tall. They walk or what would you say waddle to Tiger's Desk and stand there. They don't ever reach the top of his desk and Tiger just sits there.)

Tiger: What I guess there Chicken Otis and Tiger no showed! Whats up with this!

(The midgets kick the desk, Tiger looks around like he doesn't see them)

Tiger: Where are they at!

Otis: Right here!!!

(Tiger stands up)

Tiger: Oh!my! your even shorter then I thought! here let me give you a boost! Tiger walks over and boots both of the men into the chairs. Hold on! I'll be right back!

(Tiger runs off stage and a few seconds later is back with an arm full of Phone books he stack two each and lifts them both up and sits them on the Phone books.)

Tiger: Thats better! Now how you guys been I know you've been having some trouble as of late with Andreas Jimenez legal problems!

Otis: You be quiet you shrimp! I'm talkin now! I'm goin to teach you a lesson this in Glasgow!!

Tiger: What, I already know how to Tie my shoes! What else could you teach me?

Otis: That just bought you a whole lot of hurt this Weekend buddie!

Tiger: I got it!! You going to show me where all your little leperchaun friends live!

Otis: What!

Tiger: Don't play stupid with me, you know the little guys in green who walk around with gold buckles on there shoes, and eat corned beef sandwiches!

Otis: I know what a Leperchaun is!

Tiger: Of course you do! some of your family is probably going to be there as well, you have some Leperchauns in you family right?

Otis: I have no such.....

Tiger: Hey, You guys going to show me where the pot of gold is? Or better yet the place where you get all your blue moons, yellow stars, pink hearts, and Purple Horseshoes and Now Red baloons at!! I love that stuff can't get enough of em.

Otis: Okay, Wise guy you just wait till .....

(Just then a little midget looking like Adreas Jiminez comes running out but the only difference he's wearing a blonde curley wig with a pink bow, and a gavel! He comes running up from behind and his Dark Tiger on the head with the mallet and runs off, the midget Dark Tiger flops to the floor and Otis chases after the culprit.)

Tiger: That was Andrea Jiminez everybody, boy does she have Balls!

(Crowd laughs)

Tiger: Its now time for my Final thought As we all know the GWA is having its first PPV with me of course headlining the card for the Maximus championship! I the Sultan of Slam! The King of Kamikaze, the High Priest of Pain!! The Most Sintalating man in Pro Wrestling the Whole F'n Franchise just to name a few! Then there's the brother of my Mini Me Dark Tiger! Jack Odie! Its a no contest!! I mean hell I've seen there show before Dark Tiger the Fat Midget who scarfs down lasagna and Odie the dumb guy following him around like a puppy licking everybody! Its a complete Sham that you fans have to watch this I mean if I wanted to wrestle two midgets that should just be my warm up But its the main Event!! I guess Shadow likes midgets to put them in the spotlight like that. Well, I'm going dismantle there half pint A$$'s and hippty hop there A$$es on out of Scotland. The match will probably only last about half a minute, but I'll carry him for a few minutes just to make it intresting maybe put my hand on his forehead and watch him swing at air for awhile then hang him upside down by his shoelaces in the corner and poke his belly like the pillsbury doughboy! HEHE!! Then I'll take a chalupa and whop it down in front of a very jealous Odie, and then climb the ladder Rung, by Damn Rung, by Damn Rung..... Wait thats been used before hell I'll just strut up the ladder take back my Maximus title that was so wrongly stripped from me!! Should of had them Chalupas dammit!! But never the less I will once again be the GWA's Hero, Role Model, Savior, Messiah!!! As I will stand alone as the Maximus Champion!!!

(Crowd Cheers)

Tiger: I aint finished!! Now, I know Odie and Darkfield are pretty sly they're probably going to try something funny, you know they stole my mini me so I aint got anybody to watch my back in Glasgow! So I pondered at what could those little smurfs come up with!! I thought and thought and besides tying my shoe laces together I couldn't think of much, but to be safe i went and recruited some back up, I went and got some of the toughest SoB's I could find The Lollipop Posse Everyone!!!

( About 5 buff little midgets come walking out dressed in sweaters and khakis like the Mean Street Posse.)

Tiger: These guys are going to be there to stop any little shinanigans before its starts, not only that You've Midget napped the wrong Midget!!

( 3 midgets come out looking just like Emerald Tiger, One in Red, One in Blue and One in White)

Tiger: You got 3 really peeved brothers here! Ruby Tiger, Amethyst Tiger, and Diamond Tiger!!! You better watch you back at To the Max or you might get Midget Rushed!! Now in closing keeping with this our first Show and all making it as big as possible I know introduce you to the Entire GWA Roster!!!

(just then from the curtian Familair faces come filing through, Outlaw, Nikki Silver, Jerry Robbin, Griff Truxell, Essex, Bryan Ezra and many others take there place on stage the only thing is there all midgets! Everyone a deadringer for the wrestler he is portraying after a few minutes the stage is packed with little people, every wrestler accounted for, Joe Borroni is the only guy who is represented by his real self. Just then the music starts to play.)

Tiger: Everybody!!!!!

Everybody: It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! Its a small small World!!!

( Then they break up with the half singing then the other half following a few seconds behind sounding pretty catchy, but the Johnny Blaze midget steps on the NZA's midgets shoe and gets decked, Lost Worlds midget goes after NZA and Outlaw's midget comes out of nowhere and jumps on Seth Jorgenson before we know it the whole stage is a midget battle Royal with Tiger standing on his desk watching the whole deal, Joe Borroni is on the bottom getting beat down Baylow and Satan Claus midgets.)

Tiger: Well thats all for this week, join us again and don't forget!!! Order To The MAX!! Only on PPV Don't delay!! No Last Minute Ordering or you might miss history!!! Like me Winning the Maximus Title!! I'm OUT!!!!!

( Scene fades with the mass of midget bodies fighting as the credits roll)

(Scene opesn up backstage just a few minutes later Emerald Tiger is chilling in his dressing room watching a replay of the show he just did.)

Tiger: Look at me damn I'm Good!!

(Cell Phone Rings)

Tiger: Hello!

(Pause)

Tiger: Wha.. Your going to be there?

Tiger: I.. I.. I'll look forward to it.

(Tiger hangs the phone up and scene fades.)

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