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Date Posted: 09:00:17 09/18/06 Mon
Author: Gia
Subject: Inside
In reply to: Skeeter 's message, "inside" on 08:52:21 09/18/06 Mon

(She felt like a part of her that she had barely kept alive during these last months was dying as she sat at the table and listened to him tell her about the agency and about Kyrian and Haylie and how happy they were. She would never be happy again.. she would carry the guilt of her actions for the rest of her life and the only reason she hadn't commited suicide was teh child inside her. Killing herself would have been taking one more thing from Skeeter and she couldn't do it. Sure, she had found the need to live to care for the child she carried, but she felt hollow at the same time. She knew that Skeeter was bitter, that he refused to even talk about his own emotions and that she had done that to him.. and she ached for it, all the time. She wanted to cry out to him, to tell him that she hadn't left him because she hadn't loved him.. she still loved him.. she had left because she had needed to find herself in order to give herself to him.. and look where she'd ended up. Sitting in a restaurant with the man she loved, carrying his child, and not able to talk to him about it.) Sounds like they're very happy. (She said to the lemon in her water, feeling so completely fucking out of place that she wanted to crawl into a hole. He was trying so hard to just talk to her, and she felt ostracized by hearing about the agency she could never be a part of again and about the friends who now hated her and the happiness she could never have from the man she ached to have in her life. She nearly sighed with relief when the waitress showed up to take their orders, rubbing her hand over her stomach and hopign the child she carried would love her at least.)

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