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Date Posted: 02:02:01 06/18/03 Wed
Author: Kira
Subject: *Romance* Chapter 10...Feedback please

This chapter was fun to write. I loved writing the interaction between JC and Justin. I'm not making fun of JC at all. Promise.

Chapter 10~ Fear

Still a bit high from the hours of dancing, he plopped down on the large overstuff sofa in the family room. His hair was still damp from his shower and the delicate hint of his rose petal soap hovered around him, growing stronger as he flopped on his stomach, pillowing his arms under his head. He settled into the quiet of his new home, slowly relaxing to the low hum of the sounds from his plasma screen television mounted on the wall. He dozed, bouncing through the darkness of his dreams and the bliss of sleep.

He was jarred back to a dark house, rain streaming down his windows, to icy blue eyes. Justin brought a slack hand up to wipe his face, dab away the sleep.

JC took a step back and peeled out of his jacket, jogging back to the laundry room to hang it in the closet. Justin rolled over, groaning at the stiffness in his legs and back, and propped up on one elbow.

“So I get this urgent ass message from you and I drop all my projects and rush my self over here and you’re fucking snoozing?” JC ran his hands through his long hair, mussed from the rain.

Justin yawned to antagonize and cursed as he sat up and shuffled into the kitchen. “I’m losin’ my mind, man.”

“Again? Dawg, you say that every time something is asunder in your universe.”

Justin opened the freezer and pulled out three previously packed bags of ice and plopped down on the floor, rolling up his pajama pants. “I’m serious this time,” he hissed, his placed the ice on his shins and knees and leaned back on his palms.

JC tapped his fingers against his supple cheek and sat down on the floor next to him. “You can’t hold up all the planets, man.”

“No…I mean, I know…but. I really fucked up, C. Like I haven’t called Gavrielle since I’ve been back…” Justin winced and closed his eyes.

“You haven’t WHAT?” JC’s voice was a calm, a deep menacing tremble.

“Exactly, Josh. Like…okay. I go over there and like we talk and kiss and touch and I just wanted to…like…”

“You wanted to have sex with her, Justin,” JC squinted, crossing his arms over his chest. “She said no, didn’t she?” his eye flared open and he flailed his arms. “She said no?!”

“Yeah she did. I mean, I’m glad she did. But I don’t know. The rest of the trip was better,” Justin picked at the plastic bags and bit his cheek. “She took care of me. She let me have her bed and she made me breakfast and she skipped her classes and…”

“She loved you, Justin.”

He nodded.

“And it scared you stupid.”

He nodded again.

JC was quiet for a quite some time, gathering his thoughts. The lanky man stayed beside his friend on the cold kitchen floor. The rain plinked against the windows as the thunder rattled the panes and lightning electrified the sky. “Let it go, man. Just let her go.”

“What? I’m not giving up on Gavrielle. I mean, yes, I fucked up one side and down the other, but I can fix this…I can send her…”

“Shut up, man. I’m not talking about Gavrielle.”

Justin frowned. “If you’re not talking about Gav…Brit…ney…”

“Yes, Britney.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…that’s been over,” Justin rationalized. He kicked the ice off his legs and slowly bent them and stood up.

JC grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged sharply. Justin bounced on his bottom with a harsh thwack. “I’m not finished,” JC laughed.

“I’m done listening.”

“You’re not.”

“Look, C, I don’t think you get it. I’m done.”

“You pretend to be done. You put on that stupid ass grin that you think everyone buys and you record kiss off songs and you move into this big ass house and you dress like sex and you think you’re done. You’re only fooling yourself. You perform and you don’t even know it. No one buys it. You ain’t getting’ no Oscar, Justin.”

Justin stared straight ahead, his lip twitching as he heard JC. He didn’t have to listen. JC was on a tirade spawned by the volumes of psychology books he loved to read on tour and Justin knew to just let him talk, to act as if the words were reaching him.

JC cuffed him in the back of the head. “Listen to me. Dude, it’s been like ten years, I know when you’re not listening to me.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Mh-hmm.”

“I really don’t.”

“I’m glad. That means I’m doin’ something right.”

“No,” Justin replied. “I…”

“I know she still calls you. I heard you at my party.”

Justin shook his head, ornery and irritated. “Not anymore.”

“You can’t just make something like that go away, man, no matter how many kiss off songs you record.”

“It’s not a problem. I kiss Gavrielle all the time. We sleep together and I let her touch me.”

Justin felt JC around him, felt his on his neck. Justin shifted sharply and glared at him. “What are you doing? Look, I don’t care,” he rolled to his feet and shoved the bags of ice back into the freezer. Justin opened the fridge and retrieved a plate of fried chicken and home fries. He popped it into the microwave and grabbed a coke from the fridge. “You’re welcome to stay if you want. The number for the sushi place is by the phone. I’m going to eat and check my email.”

Justin left the room, his pants swishing as he walked.

“You smell like rose petal soap, man.”

Justin halted in the doorway, his back rigid, goosebumps swelling down his arms. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously in his throat.

“You should stop buying that shit.”

Justin gulped once more and peered over his shoulder. “It’s Britney’s favorite…”

**

The husky odor of steamed salmon clung to the hair around her, seeping into her skin. She unlocked the door of her apartment. She dropped her keys on the floor and began stripping out of her work uniform, groaning as her fierce movements intensified the thick stench. Gavrielle tossed her plum tie over her head and dropped the ball of soiled clothes into the hamper in the bathroom. She unfurled her tight bun, wrinkling her nose as the nauseating smell emanated from her hair. Flipping on the tiny radio on top of the commode, Gavrielle hopped into the shower, eager to salmon-stink from her skin.

Marta wanted to take her clubbing that night. Her best friend was determined to cheer her up and was convinced that a night of liquor and lust was the simple solution. Gavrielle reluctantly agreed and now she was anxious to ignore her problems for the rest of the night.

An hour later, Gavrielle was zipping her stiletto boots and still successfully ignoring her voicemail. Justin hadn’t called and she assumed that he wasn’t going to.

She sat on the couch and pulled at the faux velvet tassels of the pink pillow she was leaning against. She didn’t want to admit that she was a fool, caught up in romantic feels and the adventure of Justin’s celebrity. Gavrielle sniffed and laid down on the pillow for she knew it had been more than that. She loved the feathery caress of his lips on her thighs, gently licking his way down to the inside of her knees.

Gavrielle lived to make him smile or those tranquil moments that she’d remember forever. Waking up to his blue eyes watching her, a quiet smile on his lips. She closed her eyes and pressed her face into the pillow, studdering in the low light of her apartment.

The phone rang, screaming loudly. Gavrielle’s head shot her, her long curly hair fluttering behind her. She stared at her black cordless, tears dripping down her cheeks.

It rang again.

She licked her glossed lips, nibbling. She bit her thumbnail and frenetically contemplated answered the phone.

It rang again.

On the third ring, she dove for the phone, pressing the talk button. “Hello,” her voice was a bit hoarse.

“Gavrielle?” Justin’s voice was strong.

She closed her eyes and hung up the phone, setting the cordless in her lap. She covered her face with her hands, shocked at what she had just done. The phone rang again, vibrating against her leg and she ignored it.

**

Justin continued to call for the next hour.

**

Gavrielle sat, tucked in the corner of her couch and stared at the phone beside her, annoying by the perpetual electronic ring of the phone ever few seconds. Gavrielle snatched it off the cushion. “What do you want?!”

“To talk to you,” Justin replied innocently.

“You had four days to talk to me!” Gavrielle snapped.

“Baby…I know-um, jeez…” he chuckled nervously.

“Don’t baby me, Justin.”

Justin scratched his forehead and blinked, surprised by her tone. “Okay, okay, Gavrielle. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I had to watch TRL to make sure your plane didn’t crash.”

“God, I’m so sorry, Gavrielle. Whatever you want me to do or say…I’d do it.”

Gavrielle wiped at her face. “Is it because I didn’t have sex with you, Justin? I’m sure a lot of girls open their legs for you but I’m not like…”

“Stop right there!” Justin said firmly. “I was an asshole for completely different reasons, honey. Not because of that. I feel like a fucking idiot for making you think that. If I knew you thought that, I would have gotten over my shit and called you earlier.”

Gavrielle rolled her eyes and jumped at the buzzer that rang from her intercom. Stomping over across the living room, she pushed the button to let Marta in and unlocked the deadbolt. “So what was it, Justin?”

Justin pressed the palm of his hand to his eyes. He stood up and walked around his kitchen, gazing out of the bay window at the rain coating the fledging flowers. He smiled as he remembered he and Gavrielle planting them. “I broke up with my girlfriend, Gavrielle. In March.”

Marta tiptoed in the room, her eyes widening as he saw her on the phone. “That him?” she whispered.

Gavrielle nodded distantly. “I know you did, Justin.”

“She cheated on me…and I don’t think I’ve completely gotten over that,” Justin resigned. He paced anxiously and listened to Gavrielle breathing through the receiver. “Look, I didn’t want to do this over the phone. I was actually calling to see if you could come to here tomorrow morning. I think it would be better if we did this face to face.”

Gavrielle shook her head and walked around her coffee table. “No! I’m not going to drop what I’m doing, miss classes because you decided to call me. Nope. It’s not going to happen!”

“Gavrielle,” Justin argued. “Please don’t make me do this over the phone. Please.”

Ignoring the fear that slithered down her neck to the tip of her toes, bit her lip. “Tell me now.”

“Gav…”

“Tell me right now.”

“Tell me you’ll come even if I tell you.”

“To LA?”

“Yes.

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“Tell me now.”

“I don’t know where to begin…”

“You broke up with Britney in March….”

“Oh yeah, right…that was just a few months ago…and like. Shit…I can’t say what I want to say,” Justin tugged at his curls and growled into the phone. When he spoke again, his voice was deflated and small with trepidation. “I’m scared…” he leaned his forehead against the cool window. “I’m scared of what…I feel when I’m around you. I’m scared that you’ll cheat on me or that I’ll bring all my anti-trust shit into some relationship.”

Gavrielle blinked and slumped onto the corner of the coffee table.

“What’s he saying?” Marta urged.

“Nothing scares me. I’m not used to feeling this way. That’s why I didn’t call. Because I was just terrified, like Chris said in New York. You scare me...”

Gavrielle’s mouth was dry and gasped for breath. “What are you saying? Besides that…you’re…you’re scared of me, because I think you made that pretty clear…”

“I’m saying that…I’m saying that…I want maybe us being friends is a better idea that us being what we were.”

“Friends.”

“Um, I just got some stuff to work out, that’s all.”

“Stuff? Stuff from you past relationship? With Britney.”

“Not with her exactly…just with me…” Justin answered quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Gavrielle tucked her hair behind her ear and rubbed her stomach. “Yeah you said that too,” she whispered.

“Are you still coming to California?”

A tear rolled down Gavrielle’s cheek and wiped them away. “I told you I would.”

“Thank you, Gavrielle.”

“I gotta…um, Marta’s taking me out tonight…so call me later with the flight numbers and everything…”

“Of course. I promise I’ll call you. Have a great time…um…”

“Goodnight, Justin.”

Gavrielle hung up the phone as Marta embraced her tightly.

**

It was nearly four am and Marta was finishing the last French braid in Gavrielle’s hair and she smiled at her sullen friend, rubbing the thigh of peach sundress. Her friend was listless and quiet, staring at the bits of hair in the bathroom sink. She hugged Gavrielle, rubbing her shoulder. “You ready for this, hun?”

Gavrielle shook her head as Marta began her make up. “I don’t have the money for this.”

“So…close your eyes,” she carefully applied soft hue of eye-shadow. “Make him pay for it since he’s feeling so damn friendly. I am going to make you look so beautiful. He’s going to regret ever making this decision.”

“Can I borrow your jean jacket with the peach silk flower on it?” Gavrielle pouted. “It matches my dress.”

Marta handed her a piece of toilet paper and Gavrielle blotted her lips. “Only if you try to have a good time, sweetie.”

“I’ll try.”

Gavrielle sniffled and stood up, grabbing Marta’s jean jacket from atop her suitcase. “You’ll take notes for me in my class on Friday…”

“Yes, sweetie, I will.”

Gavrielle grabbed her small rolling suitcase and backpack and shuffled reluctantly for the door. “You won’t come with me?”

Marta shook her head. “Darren is coming down on the train tonight. So nope.”

Gavrielle nodded, her head rocking forward pitifully. Marta winced and gave her a soft hug, rubbing her back. “Just give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, yes, he’s a guy, but he’s a guy that broke up with his girlfriend in front of the entire world.”

**

Gavrielle sat outside of baggage claim, sipping a lukewarm Sprite she’d bought from the vendor. It was a little after five am in California and LAX was busier than she expected. The flight, despite her first class accommodations, had been horribly turbulent. The plane rocked beneath her, unable to maintain a steady altitude since they’d ran into a patch of thunderstorms over Kansas. She was incredibly nauseous and growing impatient as she waited for whomever Justin was sending to pick her up. She rubbed her stomach as it constrict with a wave of nausea and gulped at her white soda. Gavrielle was inwardly trying to convince herself that sickening swirling was from the flight and not anxiety from seeing Justin. As his face flashed in front of her mind’s eye, she realized she was failing hopelessly.

A burly man leaned down and picked up her backpack, then her suitcase, startled Gavrielle sprang up, preparing to fight. Eric leaned upwards, unshadowing his face and winked at her. “Hello again, sweet lady.”

Gavrielle sighed and sucked the spilled Sprite off her fingers. “Eric, you scared me.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. Is this all you have?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then we’re set. Justin’s in the SUV and we’re parked outside.”

“Great.”

Eric jogged out to a spotless black Navigator- a mammoth of a vehicle parked in the middle of the parkway. Her reflection glared back at her in the tinted windows and she gripped the handle. They were locked from the outside. Carefully bringing up a fisted hand, she rapped her knuckled against the windows.

Eric unlocked the doors as he hopped in the front passenger seat. “Sorry about that,” he called over the traffic, “he’s probably asleep. We always keep the doors locked from the inside. Just a precaution. Climb on in.”

Gavrielle carefully opened the door and tossed her backpack on the seat, picking up the skirts of her dress and placing her foot on the step. Grabbing hold of the handle mounted to the ceiling and pulled herself up and in the enormous vehicle. She closed the door and settled into the comfortably warm leather seats. She heard a soft sigh and turned to her left to see Justin slumped against the window, a coat pillowed her his head. She smiled softly and buckled her seatbelt.

“How was your flight?” Justin mumbled. His eyes still closed.

“Bumpy.”

Justin sat up, forcing himself awake. He stretched felinely, mewing into the expansive backseat. “Thank you so much for coming,” he said, leaning in, licking his lips.

Gavrielle slyly turned her face away and held out her right hand for Justin to shake. “Friends don’t kiss, Mr. Timberlake,” she said tritely.

Justin shook her hand then brought it to his lips and kissed it smugly. “We are going to talk about this. I promised,” Justin yawned and grabbed at his waist, his hands sliding beneath his shirt. His face tangled in discomfort. “Can I just sleep for a bit? Please? I was up all night with rehearsals for this video and I’m going to be up all night again shooting this thing.”

Gavrielle opened her mouth to answer, but Justin snores reverberated though the expansive backseat of the SUV.

**

The video shoot for “Cry Me A River” was pure uncontrolled chaos. They had commandeered a wealth businessman’s vacation house outside of Los Angeles. Filming equipment littered the front lawn. Thick serpents of cord ran out rumbling trucks and dozens of people rushed in and house of the sleek house, rigging it for the days shoot. Justin was suddenly alert and charming as they fitted him in his one and only outfit. The air was chilly, possessing an icy tingle at the tips of the winds. Gavrielle stood amazed at the menacing metal structure powered by an industrial fan.

“It makes rain,” Justin replied from behind her. “A lot of fucking rain.”

“Cool.”

Gavrielle turned around and screamed, a burst of frightening sound exploding from her lips.

Justin blinked, sending plump tears down his cheeks. His eyes were an unforgiving black. “They’re contacts,” he blotted his cheeks with the corner of a tissue and smiled.

“Warn someone!”

“I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“Notice that you’re wonderfully blue eyes were magically black?”

“Wonderfully blue?” Justin arched an eyebrow.

She weakly pushed at him. “Ugh. Get away from me, BUDDY.”

Justin rolled his teary eyes. “Tell me you’re not going to be doing this all weekend.”

Gavrielle nodded. “Ya know it, Sport.”

“Okay…um, filming is going to start in like half an hour. And it’s going to get pretty wet out here, if you want, you can go on in my trailer,” Justin offered. “There’s tons of food in there if you’re hungry. It’s pretty comfortable.”

Gavrielle wrinkled her nose. “I can I watch?”

“Yeah sure?” Justin looked around and waved at an assistant. “Can you get my friend and umbrella, please?”

“Sure, Justin…I’ll be right back.”

She returned in minutes with a large black umbrella. She handed it to Gavrielle and retreated into the tangle of chaos. As the umbrella opened with a mystic whoosh, Gavrielle found herself back in Justin’s world filled with the beautiful pandemonium of creation. Slick black cars and sheets of faux storms.

The waterfall of rain mixed with the marbled morning sky and everything seemed to slow down and peels back to reveal an illusive pattern. It all made sense in an intangible way. Gavrielle being beside Justin, supporting him as best she could. And he let her into a world that was shrouded in secret from others. He pulled back the velvet curtains and let her in with open arms.

He smiled wistfully as he trotted up to her, all soggy clothes and dark eyes. He shivered in front of her, his lips a pale blue. His cheeks slippery with water. Gavrielle shook her head, and pulled open her bag, retrieving a lavender cap she’d tucked in there in the frenzy of midnight packing. Justin bent down and let her tug the hat over his wet curls. She dropped the umbrella and rubbed his ears over the cotton.

“That wwwater is cccold.”

Torrents cascaded off his chin.

“It looks cold.”

“I gotta film the rest in the house and it’s going to be hella boring. We’re trying to get this done all in one day.”

“Okay. I’ll just go in the trailer.”

**

It was quiet in the trailer. The commotion was a distant hum and Gavrielle had time to think and unwind. She was tired. Her body was telling her it was noon but it was only a little after seven in the morning. She sat on the bed and nibbled on a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. She napped on the queen-sized bed in the back and was suddenly determined to talk to Justin as soon as possible about the friendship thing. She was confused and hurt and even a bit angry at the abrupt loss of touch and kisses.

She walked around the businessman’s estate, busying herself, gathering her thoughts.

**

Justin stumbled in that evening, when the night was already an intense black. He flopped on his back on the bed. His head thudding against Gavrielle’s textbook. “…mmm…” he pushed it out of the way and groaned as his stomach growled.

Gavrielle’s green eyes flicked over the rim of her thin glasses. “Did you finish?”

“Barely…one more shot I think.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve starved and my hips hurt,” Justin moaned, raking his wrist across his forehead.

“Your hips?”

“Yeah…had to wear a harness. They’re broken now.”

Gavrielle shook her head and grabbed her second bagel, dipping it in cream cheese. She held a morsel over his mouth. “Open.”

A red tongue snaked out between glossed lips and Justin’s chin dropped, neck arched to take a blind bite. He chewed slowly, as if he was falling asleep. “Justin?” she fed him another piece, rewarding him for consciousness.

His eyebrows lifted. “I have tomorrow off, so I won’t be busy at all…sorry if you were bored.” A hand patted his hips.

It was time to stop procrastinating. Her hands shook as he swirled another piece of bagel in pink. “That’s not…you don’t want to kiss…”

She watched Justin winced, his mouth poised for another bite. Sighing, she closed her mouth and filled his with food. Leaning over his lean form, she pulled up his shirt, carefully tugging down his jeans to reveal raw, crimson strips of marred skin on either side. “Ouch,” she whispered.

Justin pouted adorably. “Yes, ouch.”

Gavrielle leaned down and kissed them, smooth and rounded. “All better.”

“Thanks…”

Gavrielle smiled sadly. “Welcome.”

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