Just something I'm working on ... -- Fictional Getdown

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Date Posted: 14:59:59 07/17/03 Thu
Author: Brookie
Subject: Just something I'm working on ...

I'm not really sure where this came from or where it's going. Just a little something my crazy mind has been thinking over what with everything that's been going on with me this past semester. So, let me know what you think.
Thanks,
Brookie

God, what did she think she was doing? Or maybe that was it exactly. She wasn�t thinking. Hadn�t that been the very thing that had been keeping her from acting in the first place? The thinking, the overanalyzing, the fear. Yes, all those invisible mental battles that can�t be thwarted no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, even your heart isn�t strong enough to counteract that pesky, sensible side.

But she was tired, now. Tired of dreaming, of hoping, of wishing on shooting stars and heads-up pennies, wishing wells and eyelashes. What good did all these things do you when in the end, you only find yourself once again waiting and somewhat more jaded? Ah, she remembered when she was a little girl, when there was no doubt in her mind that her Prince Charming would come, if only she had the patience to stand by. But fairy tales, well �being an adult, she could finally realize their flaws. That wasn�t the kind of relationship she wanted. Waiting around for Mr. Right? What kind of life was that anyway? And then when found, more waiting. Waiting for him to slay the dragon, to kiss away the evil placed upon her.

Still, the part she truly found she had no liking for was that which involved love at first sight. No, she didn�t believe in that. And how could she? That was too easy. People fall in love with the sight of others everyday. What�s so special about that? Nothing special, nothing romantic, nothing at all real. Love isn�t perfect. And while she never claimed to be an expect on the subject, she did know that much to be true. Those things in life that are truly meaningful and worthwhile don�t come easy. You have to work for them. You have to earn them.

Everything took time though. And all her thinking and overanalyzing was taking too much of it. She�d already wasted so many months just being afraid and wondering if things could be different, if only � But if onlys were like wishing were like hoping were like dreaming. In the end, there was very little action.

She was already tired. But now she was angry too. Mostly at herself. It seemed as of late nothing was going the way it was supposed to. So, finally, she�d made a decision. No more playing the victim in her own life. It was time to be an active player. If she wanted this to happen, she was just going to have to get up off her ass and go for it.

Throw caution to the wind.

And for that matter, to hell with thinking as well.

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Replies:

That was good Brookie...that was really good. Good job. (NT) -- Tiffany, 19:33:31 07/24/03 Thu